Blade56
Yer avin a laff
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Messages
- 22,317
- Reaction score
- 27,793
Every year we go through phases ont RM. I genuinely love the pre season internet huddle, foolhardiness, speculation and bants as well as the fallings out and spoofing. It generally follows a format....
Phase 1 - let’s all call for Richard Cadette the one true ITKer (although he might have screwed some of CWAKs Under the radar targets, we‘ll have to wait for CW’s memoirs). This phase also includes ragging of what critic attention grabbing narcissists the likes of E89, Sunjhi et al and rigorously testing the credentials of new usurpers (Blade58 is good at this activity) claiming to be Wilders best mate and only confidant.
Phase 2- Wild speculation and player suggestion phase. The FIFA rating experts know exactly who we need down to the last theoretical statistic and the if wert manager I’d be after XYZ cause that’s weer we went wrong last season. Not forgetting the he’s not good enough and we should replace him with some young man citteh or liverpool starlet Because hey are amazing (these with the obvious exception are usually players their managers want to try out before getting rid Woodburns, Coffey, Wilson et al).
Phase 3 - the initial batch of names linked to the club usually by Nixon or a random Facebook pretender. This is where the debate begins about Nixon credibility and how many followers the random Facebook guy has let alone if his names spelt correctly. These are closely followed by the Sun and Mirror being used as mouthpieces for foreign agents trying to link and big up random sh!te players they represent.
Phase 4 - in summary this is the implosion phase. Posters outed as pigs because they have a view based on hysteria or not. Members getting into 10 page like for like name calling and abuse of each other’s points of view often raking back months and years regurgitating something the other posted in a booze and drug fuelled rant so it’s FACT. The Ignore button is often brought into play around this time. While all this is going on the targets definitely identified in Phase 2 have either a gone elsewhere, over our wage structure or have signed for Villa. Enter the random foreigner that we have had bids rejected for but we are rebidding and we are linked with every promising prospect on loan or even attempting to buy. Around this time Alan Biggs and the Stir start naming players as targets that were forgotten in phase 3.
Phase 5 - the sweat spot, the time when Wilder starts chucking up flack to detract the speculation but leaves fans gagging with snippets like we‘re talking to the lad, we’ve identified targets, hoping to sign 5 but 2 might be later, etc. Slashers and Clappers really get going with excitement, weers money gone/coming from, don’t sign lower league players (forgetting where we‘ve come from) only sign proven PL players like Messi, Kane blah blah blah. This is the most frustrating phase when we know summerts happening but no one really knows what, where, who, how much....... lamented calls for Richard Caddette go out with his @RC forum name in a vein hope he will respond from the grave.
Phase 6 - reality, Wilders targets are no longer speculation, him and Bettis go to work and we hold our breath. I think Phase 6 will start over the weekend or early next week. I’ll guess (cause that’s all it is). At this point Alan Biggs reports we’ve dropped our interest in Cash from Forest.
Swift being given a lot of focus to try and prize him away
Burke straight swap for CR
Meite (this might be to replace a surprising sale of Moose to a french side)
Brewster bought for £15m with a £30m buyback
Any one of a few random Manure youngsters on loan development (Based on Deano experience)
One out of the blue players from a Belgian club that we never saw coming.
Phase 1 - let’s all call for Richard Cadette the one true ITKer (although he might have screwed some of CWAKs Under the radar targets, we‘ll have to wait for CW’s memoirs). This phase also includes ragging of what critic attention grabbing narcissists the likes of E89, Sunjhi et al and rigorously testing the credentials of new usurpers (Blade58 is good at this activity) claiming to be Wilders best mate and only confidant.
Phase 2- Wild speculation and player suggestion phase. The FIFA rating experts know exactly who we need down to the last theoretical statistic and the if wert manager I’d be after XYZ cause that’s weer we went wrong last season. Not forgetting the he’s not good enough and we should replace him with some young man citteh or liverpool starlet Because hey are amazing (these with the obvious exception are usually players their managers want to try out before getting rid Woodburns, Coffey, Wilson et al).
Phase 3 - the initial batch of names linked to the club usually by Nixon or a random Facebook pretender. This is where the debate begins about Nixon credibility and how many followers the random Facebook guy has let alone if his names spelt correctly. These are closely followed by the Sun and Mirror being used as mouthpieces for foreign agents trying to link and big up random sh!te players they represent.
Phase 4 - in summary this is the implosion phase. Posters outed as pigs because they have a view based on hysteria or not. Members getting into 10 page like for like name calling and abuse of each other’s points of view often raking back months and years regurgitating something the other posted in a booze and drug fuelled rant so it’s FACT. The Ignore button is often brought into play around this time. While all this is going on the targets definitely identified in Phase 2 have either a gone elsewhere, over our wage structure or have signed for Villa. Enter the random foreigner that we have had bids rejected for but we are rebidding and we are linked with every promising prospect on loan or even attempting to buy. Around this time Alan Biggs and the Stir start naming players as targets that were forgotten in phase 3.
Phase 5 - the sweat spot, the time when Wilder starts chucking up flack to detract the speculation but leaves fans gagging with snippets like we‘re talking to the lad, we’ve identified targets, hoping to sign 5 but 2 might be later, etc. Slashers and Clappers really get going with excitement, weers money gone/coming from, don’t sign lower league players (forgetting where we‘ve come from) only sign proven PL players like Messi, Kane blah blah blah. This is the most frustrating phase when we know summerts happening but no one really knows what, where, who, how much....... lamented calls for Richard Caddette go out with his @RC forum name in a vein hope he will respond from the grave.
Phase 6 - reality, Wilders targets are no longer speculation, him and Bettis go to work and we hold our breath. I think Phase 6 will start over the weekend or early next week. I’ll guess (cause that’s all it is). At this point Alan Biggs reports we’ve dropped our interest in Cash from Forest.
Swift being given a lot of focus to try and prize him away
Burke straight swap for CR
Meite (this might be to replace a surprising sale of Moose to a french side)
Brewster bought for £15m with a £30m buyback
Any one of a few random Manure youngsters on loan development (Based on Deano experience)
One out of the blue players from a Belgian club that we never saw coming.
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