Rumour Mill PHASE 5 approaching 6

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Blade56

Yer avin a laff
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Every year we go through phases ont RM. I genuinely love the pre season internet huddle, foolhardiness, speculation and bants as well as the fallings out and spoofing. It generally follows a format....

Phase 1 - let’s all call for Richard Cadette the one true ITKer (although he might have screwed some of CWAKs Under the radar targets, we‘ll have to wait for CW’s memoirs). This phase also includes ragging of what critic attention grabbing narcissists the likes of E89, Sunjhi et al and rigorously testing the credentials of new usurpers (Blade58 is good at this activity) claiming to be Wilders best mate and only confidant.

Phase 2- Wild speculation and player suggestion phase. The FIFA rating experts know exactly who we need down to the last theoretical statistic and the if wert manager I’d be after XYZ cause that’s weer we went wrong last season. Not forgetting the he’s not good enough and we should replace him with some young man citteh or liverpool starlet Because hey are amazing (these with the obvious exception are usually players their managers want to try out before getting rid Woodburns, Coffey, Wilson et al).

Phase 3 - the initial batch of names linked to the club usually by Nixon or a random Facebook pretender. This is where the debate begins about Nixon credibility and how many followers the random Facebook guy has let alone if his names spelt correctly. These are closely followed by the Sun and Mirror being used as mouthpieces for foreign agents trying to link and big up random sh!te players they represent.

Phase 4 - in summary this is the implosion phase. Posters outed as pigs because they have a view based on hysteria or not. Members getting into 10 page like for like name calling and abuse of each other’s points of view often raking back months and years regurgitating something the other posted in a booze and drug fuelled rant so it’s FACT. The Ignore button is often brought into play around this time. While all this is going on the targets definitely identified in Phase 2 have either a gone elsewhere, over our wage structure or have signed for Villa. Enter the random foreigner that we have had bids rejected for but we are rebidding and we are linked with every promising prospect on loan or even attempting to buy. Around this time Alan Biggs and the Stir start naming players as targets that were forgotten in phase 3.

Phase 5 - the sweat spot, the time when Wilder starts chucking up flack to detract the speculation but leaves fans gagging with snippets like we‘re talking to the lad, we’ve identified targets, hoping to sign 5 but 2 might be later, etc. Slashers and Clappers really get going with excitement, weers money gone/coming from, don’t sign lower league players (forgetting where we‘ve come from) only sign proven PL players like Messi, Kane blah blah blah. This is the most frustrating phase when we know summerts happening but no one really knows what, where, who, how much....... lamented calls for Richard Caddette go out with his @RC forum name in a vein hope he will respond from the grave.

Phase 6 - reality, Wilders targets are no longer speculation, him and Bettis go to work and we hold our breath. I think Phase 6 will start over the weekend or early next week. I’ll guess (cause that’s all it is). At this point Alan Biggs reports we’ve dropped our interest in Cash from Forest.

Swift being given a lot of focus to try and prize him away
Burke straight swap for CR
Meite (this might be to replace a surprising sale of Moose to a french side)
Brewster bought for £15m with a £30m buyback
Any one of a few random Manure youngsters on loan development (Based on Deano experience)
One out of the blue players from a Belgian club that we never saw coming.
 
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Ricky is well ahead of the curve....hopefully in 25 years when we are established I predict his recommendations today will be spot on!
 
We are missing a phase this year:

Ricky's pie in the sky recommendations based on too much time spent on Football Manager, FIFA and Football Index.

I certainly don't miss him throwing his toys out the pram because we never ever ever looked abroad for players, despite him not having a scooby who we were or weren't looking at as he wasn't privvy to such matters (as none of us are). I imagine he gave himself a massive pat on the back when the club took his advice and brought in Verrips & Berge.
 

Not got time to pick all the flaws in this ...but then who has ! ...one minor point ...the SALE of Mousset ...coz they will be loads of suitors waiting to spunk cash on someone who hardly plays...just saying ..

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I certainly don't miss him throwing his toys out the pram because we never ever ever looked abroad for players, despite him not having a scooby who we were or weren't looking at as he wasn't privvy to such matters (as none of us are). I imagine he gave himself a massive pat on the back when the club took his advice and brought in Verrips & Berge.

It takes all kinds to make a fun forum and I think it's worse off he's gone. Come back Ricky, we need some transfer targets.
 
Do you think Wilder has 'leaked' any fake transfer targets just to see how Villa react?

I think I would just for a laugh if I were him.
I was thinking the same! Maybe Cash and Robinson were 2nd choices. Now we can go after 1st choices!
 
I’d be amazed if it wasn’t part of their transfer strategy to ‘leak fake news’. Wilder alluded to his frustration last summer I think when Maupay deal fell through and no more Richard Cadette so no stones left unturned...
 
It takes all kinds to make a fun forum and I think it's worse off he's gone. Come back Ricky, we need some transfer targets.
Agreed I miss Rickys input too, yes he did come across a little hormonal at times but I can’t say much as, like a few others on here, when United lose I can be a complete tit and let it spoil my weekend!! I think he was genuinely knowledgeable on players too even if some of the suggestions were wrong.
 
I appreciate he may have been a naughty boy and I wasn't party to what got him banned but I do miss Ricky's contributions.

He's got some very well researched suggestions and it always fueled a bit more sensible debate.

Pity it couldn't have been worked out. Life's too short for too much bickering if this COVID situation tells us anything!
 
I appreciate he may have been a naughty boy and I wasn't party to what got him banned but I do miss Ricky's contributions.

He's got some very well researched suggestions and it always fueled a bit more sensible debate.

Pity it couldn't have been worked out. Life's too short for too much bickering if this COVID situation tells us anything!
Agreed. Do miss his suggestions. Not many have footballing knowledge like he does. Sure he could be a bit of a tit at times, but I think everyone is/was/can be. Rumour mills definitely missing someone with that amount of knowledge.
 
I appreciate he may have been a naughty boy and I wasn't party to what got him banned but I do miss Ricky's contributions.

He's got some very well researched suggestions and it always fueled a bit more sensible debate.

Pity it couldn't have been worked out. Life's too short for too much bickering if this COVID situation tells us anything!
Agreed. Do miss his suggestions. Not many have footballing knowledge like he does. Sure he could be a bit of a tit at times, but I think everyone is/was/can be. Rumour mills definitely missing someone with that amount of knowledge.

This is feeling like a bit of a safety circle or AA meeting

“I’m Eza Blade and I too can be a cunt”
 
Agreed. Do miss his suggestions. Not many have footballing knowledge like he does. Sure he could be a bit of a tit at times, but I think everyone is/was/can be. Rumour mills definitely missing someone with that amount of knowledge.

I’ll have a spin on the random name generator tonight, bang some YouTube compilation clips on and say that we should be looking overseas and it will be like he’s been here all along.
 

Phase 1 - let’s all call for Richard Cadette the one true ITKer (although he might have screwed some of CWAKs Under the radar targets, we‘ll have to wait for CW’s memoirs). This phase also includes ragging of what critic attention grabbing narcissists the likes of E89, Sunjhi et al and rigorously testing the credentials of new usurpers (@Blade58 is good at this activity) claiming to be Wilders best mate and only confidant.

Whilst I loved RC's updates as much as the next man last summer does anyone truly believe that him posting a few tit bits on here actually led to us missing out on any of our targets?

The reason any club loses out on a player to another club is due to the players agent hawking their client around for the best deal.

A higher transfer fee and wages means their "cut" of said deal is higher. Now someone less cynical than me would probably try and claim that the only thing they are trying to do is the best for their client but the truth is they will usually do what's best for themselves.

That fly on the wall documentary a couple of years ago proved that when the agent refused to allow those 2 lads to sign on loan. They don't think long term and are only after the highest deal rather than what's best for their client.
 

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