A sunny afternoon in Dronfield: RAPFA, hoof disruptions and the MATCH
The Real Ale and Proper Football Alliance (RAPFA) successfully kicked off the pre season despite the heinous attempts by the we :heart: hoof brigade to scupper things. Real ale was sank (lager was spilled), Shakespeare recited, total football discussed and there was not a conservative party member within miles. Unfortunately the Blades were unable to match the discussions about Keates, Shelley and Byron or the performance of Thornbridge ales and played out a disappointing 1-1 draw.
Crisis
The we :heart: hoof brigade came out to try to spoilt the first meeting of the RAPFA. I was handed a flyer before the game promoting the benefits of drinking lager (less calories, ‘better in hot weather’ and available in all shite pubs). Naturally I kept my head down as an executive member of RAPFA I would be a prize scalp for the hoof lovers. Whilst discussing Rudyard Kipling’s best work over a pint of Thornbridge Kipling with fellow executive Pinchy I saw one of the hoof loving, lager propaganda dishing numpties wondering round outside the Coach and Horses listening for talk pass and move and left wing politics.
Tactics
We decided to act fast. I bought one of the taster pots (5 1/3 a pint tasters of real ale) and dispatched one of the junior RAPFA members to ‘refresh’ the knuckle draggers dishing out the leaflets. I can only think that their taste buds exploded as the imminent violent clashes were avoided. Different members of the we heart hoof brigade were spotted staggering off in different directions and there were rumours that a Blade with Blackwell on the back of his shirt was later spotted drinking Jaipur. Book sales of George Orwell were up 500% in the Sainsbury’s ten minutes up the road and there were unconfirmed reports of hoofers scalding the occasional hoof from young Maguire.
Performance
The outstanding team performance of the afternoon was clearly the bar staff at the Coach and Horses. They were solidly backed up by the fantastic range of ales from Thornbridge. The ales sank in the pub almost made the match bearable. The outstanding performer of the afternoon was Kipling. A light coloured ale, that is smooth and full bodied, quite strong and has a slightly bitter hoppy aftertaste. How fitting a name for this excellent ale. This was closely followed by the award winning Jaipur: a strong, light ale with a similar bitter hoppy aftertaste (a Thornbridge trait) and a slight kick. Lord Marples, a light ale, low in strength and hoppy in taste, should be mentioned also. Black Harry (a very dark, slightly liquorice-ishy, almost porter-eque ale) and White Swan (the lightest of the range and a light ale, with an overly bitter after taste) were the weakest performers, but they were miles ahead of anything we saw on the pitch.
Trivia question: which German player was the first person to touch the ball in the 1974 World Cup final and what were the circumstances. A pint of real ale, from Ollessendro and available at the next RAPFA meeting, to the first person to get the answer right first.
Inside the BT stadium
Wilson opted for a very young team and clearly was trying to fathom who might be capable of stepping up. The barely recognisable team (see below) took me 30 minutes to work out and still I got mixed up:
------------------ Long
Conneely** Collins Maguire Warren*
Chappel**** McAllister++ Harriot*** Tonne
---------- Bogdanovic+ Philkirk+++
* Pomares
** Brown
*** Lokberg
**** Gregory
+ Cresswell
++ Murray
+++ Slew
The match
The Blades started brightly and were keen to get on the ball. They passed it around quite well and looked comfortable. I was pleasantly surprised to see us stringing moves together and passing more than 5 times in a row. That said, during this spell whilst I tried to work the team out, we created little. Bogdanovic had a shot and turn, but it was straight at the keeper. Chappel broke forward but made the wrong option.
McAllister and Harriot saw a lot of the ball, but they did not create anything. The style almost resembled Speed’s first couple of games as there was a lot of tippy tappy, building from the back four etc but we did not get it forward quickly. We did not have any width and the strikers looked isolated.
United looked fairly comfortable at the back with Collins and Maguire mopping up effectively. Sheffield FC did not have any chances of note. That said they broke forward a couple of times and had some joy down the flanks. Young full backs Warren and Conneely were exposed and both beaten too easily.
Approaching half time Harry Maguire took matters into his own hands. He advanced forward, beating a player and then hit a 30 yard thunderbolt worthy of a goal. It smaked again the bar (post?) with the keeper well beaten and fell to Philskirk who headed home unopposed from 6 yards out. Credit to Philskirk for anticipation/reaction and credit to Maguire for a belter of a strike.
Second half the Blades went a little flat after Wilson made several substitutions. More unrecognisable players came on and I lost track of who was who (and gave up). We continued to dominate possession, but lacked edge. Cresswell did nothing and the strikers were looking a little isolated. Slew did however cause a few problems. He got himself into a shooting position and should have scored. However with a clear shot he dragged a left footed strike wide. His pace was giving the defence problems and he got away from his man again and chose the wrong option. His 3rd moment of note was when he had yet another sitter but again fired wide. He looked lively, but his finishing was woeful.
My version of events may not be the best, as frankly I started to get bored. United were clearly not going to score again and I found myself wandering off.
Suddenly, out of the blue, Sheffield FC were level. A deep cross into the United area seemed not be dangerous, but a mix up gifted the home side an equaliser. Long came and got nowhere near the cross and after United cleared, X drove it home. It was a decent strike and he did well to keep it down, but it was a big error from the young United keeper. Long really should not have come and he was nowhere near it. A bad mistake.
The closing stages passed without incident and Sheffield FC got a well earned draw against the professional club.
Ratings
Rather than go through the whole lot, I will single a few out.
The older pros: Boggy, Cressy and even Lowton and Slew were disappointing. Bogdnovic did very little, though he tried and Creswell did less. Boggy was outmuscled too easily and had a tendency to fall over when an opposition player was within a few yeards of him. Cresswell just did nothing. Slew was lively but missed a couple if sitters. His pace caused problems, but his finishing was awful. Collins actually looked fairly composed and won a lot of headers. He did the basics ok and looked for the pass, rather than hoofing. This was by far his best performance in a United shirt (that I have seen) though it may be a reflection of the opposition.
Young one’s: as were Tonne, Chapel, Warren, Philskirk and Conneely were non descript and frankly disappointing. Lokberg, Gregory and Murray did little to impress me. Davie Mac was ok (but faded a little) and Harriot looked pretty good (particularly first half. I'd like to see those two in CM again (or one partnering Williamson).
The gem in the shite was Harry Maguire. Strong, good in the air and like a rock. Not the most composed player, but lead by example and did the basics right. Tried not to hoof it (though second half he got frustrated and started to knock long) and tended to look for the midfielders or full back.
Keeper Long did not looked the answer. Should never have come out for the goal and was his fault entirely. He then lost confidence and did not come for a couple of crosses he could/should have done. Not ready to step up imo.
Overall: Of all the lads out there today I would only be looking at Maguire and possibly McAllister and Harriot to be stepping up. Perhaps we should look again at Philskirk and Tonne but I was far from convinced. Of all the old pro’s the only one that looked good was Collins(!!?). Cresswell, Slew and Bogdanovic will have to pull their fingers out if they want to start.
United
Thought we looked comfortable on the ball and tried to pass it around well first half. Was impressed how composed we looked and thought the central midfield partnership of Dave Mac and Harriot looked good. Young Harriot played the deep role very well and as well as looking good on the ball he was always available. Liked the look of him and would like to see more. Despite us dominating possession we lacked a cutting edge and created little. That said, they did not do enough to support the attack and I was hoping for a little dynamism from McAllister.
Second half we were poor. We did little with possession and created little. That said Slew missed a couple of absolute sitters. He was disappointing and I would be tempted to cash in on him now from what I saw yesterday. Cresswell was poor and none of the young lads used in the second half impressed me.
Overall we were really disappointing. We tried to pass it around, but lacked width, creativity, pace and imagination. As Wilson admitted after the game we held onto the ball too much at the back and whilst it was encouraging to see us string more than 5 passes together (I honestly cannot remember the last time we did that) we did not get it forward quick enough. We rarely threatened and were way too narrow.
