A “cry wank” is when someone’s having a bit of a mardy spell—feelin' dead down in the dumps—and they end up, well, masturbatin' while they’re in tears. It’s like you’re crying your eyes out, but your body's still lookin' for a bit of relief, if you get what I mean. Some folk reckon it’s a bit of an emotional release, like how you might have a good shout or a cry after a bad day down the ginnel, just to get it all out. It’s not summat that you’d want to admit to in front of your mates, like, but it’s one of those things that’s kinda whispered about in corners of the internet.
Some folks even get all posh about it, callin' it a "posh crywank" where they’re cryin’ into a sock—aye, right—and using it for a bit of pleasure, like. Absolute divvy behaviour, that. Other people just have it as a way of dealin’ with how nesh they are, you know, all upset and wantin’ comfort but not quite knowin’ how to handle it.
Aye, it might be weird, but sometimes when you’re down and out, it’s just somethin’ that happens. You might even end up with a splash of Hendo’s, if you’re that way inclined, in the middle of the madness. Can’t say I’d recommend it, appen, but there’s summat oddly cathartic about it for some folk.