Think you have the wrong forum pal.
You and others like you, should try the problem page of Just 17.
But having read what you said, it must be hard when your lover turns out not to be the superhero you thought they were.I know you had 4 fantastic years together, and when things go wrong, it’s easy and normal to feel bitter.But,try not to project your own feelings of lost love and inadequacy on others you once adored.
In time you will learn to look back, on your lost love,and appreciate just how good the good times were.Yes,things fell apart, and your hero, made some dumb mistakes, don’t they all in the end.But it shouldn’t tarnish the time you had together.
Try and remain in the present, it will help.and perhaps join a few clubs and societies.There’s one down the road, for delusional people who can’t accept reality, but, I think you’re much better than that.
Anyway hope this helps, and the acne soon clears up.There’s someone out there, for everyone you know.