The ‘titwank’ man on the Kop

[dexter101]

I really want to introduce 'titwank' into my daily parlance. Outside of asking for a titwank every day.

After I read this, I thought you actually made it sound quite poetic. almost Shakespearean.

"one doth meet a buxom wench and trifle with a titwank and sweetmeats."

I then saw Maurice Maurice 's photo of a wendy and it brought me right back down to earth with a bump

 

[Davalon]

What's the phrase for a group of titwanks?

 

[Pitsmoorian]

What's the phrase for a group of titwanks?

Not sure. Is it a 'trembling'? Maybe a 'fettle'?
My memory is terrible

 

[Blackheath Blade]

What's the phrase for a group of titwanks?

A splurge?

 

[Sean Thornton]

What's the phrase for a group of titwanks?

Collective noun.

 

[Sean Thornton]

I bet this fella doesn't go short in the bedroom Olympics...

View attachment 241718

Is that the ex Trust chairman?

 

[djbaldken]

What's the phrase for a group of titwanks?

Hillsborough?

 

[Davalon]

Hillsborough?

You're in the lead so far

 

[mattbianco1]

What's the phrase for a group of titwanks?

Wednesday fans ?

 

[Sportbilly /Detroit Blade]

A culture of titwanks.

 

[Keen Blade]

Not sure. Is it a 'trembling'? Maybe a 'fettle'?
My memory is terrible

Your memory is terrible ?
What about the mammories ?

 

[Keen Blade]

Collective noun.

Pedant

 

[Pitsmoorian]

You're in the lead so far

Ahh, i see. Ok then, errrrm......a bounce?

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

TITTAAAAYS!

Breasts.

 

[Bladesman101]

We had some lads near us screaming about Tanganga’s member and McGoldrick non stop for 90 minutes in rotation. Every now and then they’d scream “sing up shoreham”, there was a collective groan. I actually preferred the sound of the drums.

 

[Grumpy Fat Sod]

This guy needs his own song
Then when he starts we can collectively terrorise him
Itd be the end of kop titwanking thats for sure

 

[Rodley]

Is his mate known as Soapy?

Sweaty

 

[Kenilworth]

Sweaty

Betty

 

[djbaldken]

Sweaty

Betty

Many moons ago I actually had a dalliance with a young lady from Mexborough.
Her name happened to be Betty.
I affectionately called her Sweaty Betty from Mexborough.
She wasn't particularly impressed when I introduced her as such.
But she did have particularly impressive attributes.
And was particularly impressive in the use of them.
Ahhh the memories..............or something like that. I never could spell.

 

[Good Pinch Of Snuff]

Titwanks 3 Quid

 

[Rodley]

Many moons ago I actually had a dalliance with a young lady from Mexborough.

Coincidentally this was the original opening line of Nicholas Nickleby, but Dicken’s editors changed it just before first going to press.

 

[mattbianco1]

He just kept shouting titwank and his mate just had a major problem with the drummer.

Each time it went quiet.

"Shove ya drum up ya fucking arse!"

"Play something that doesn't just go 'bang bang bang' "... obviously doesn't understand how drums work

Then the worst bit, the young lass who does our touchline filming (early 20s i'd think) was sat near the corner flag and all of a sudden he shouts ' "wish that security guard would shift. He's blocking my view of her legs!"

Before continuing

"Have ya seen her pins? Gorgeous!"

She's about a third of his age.

You realise what we have in our fanbase, and hear a lot more when you're sat in the stand with your own teenage daughter.

 

[Jinxy1966]

Coincidentally this was the original opening line of Nicholas Nickleby, but Dicken’s editors changed it just before first going to press.

They also changed the title from Knickerless Nippleby

 

[Sean Thornton]

They also changed the title from Knickerless Nippleby

I believe both assertions are incorrect and state that it’s actually Great Mexpectations!

 

[Barnette]

Women support united too and read this board...just saying

 

[Silent Blade]

Women support united too and read this board...just saying

And deaf people too having no idea of the songs being chanted by us and other fans. My dad (passed away in 1999) would tell me the funny ones, now my son does the same.

 

[Jinxy1966]

I believe both assertions are incorrect and state that it’s actually Great Mexpectations!

A Tail & Two Titties

 

[Gimli]

A Tail & Two Titties

It was the Breast of times, it was the worst of times…

 

[Sean Thornton]

And deaf people too having no idea of the songs being chanted by us and other fans. My dad (passed away in 1999) would tell me the funny ones, now my son does the same.

Sorry SB but was one of the funny ones “can you hear the W*dn*sday sing”?

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

Titwanks 3 Quid

They were £2.50 last season!