Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[Ainsley Harriott]

Black’s Hawk Down

Former United midfielder Tommy Black reveals the sad tale of the time their Jud put his Goshawk down the rubble chute in their old maisonette block.

 

[Rodley]

Uhlenbeek Ull’n back

Former cult hero right back Gus “Goose” Uhlenbeek attempts a 24 hour walk from Sheffield to Hull, and back, in a pair of clogs.

 

[Rodley]

Killeen Me Softly

Ex Blades Academy prospect Lewis Killeen reveals his double life as a hired assassin.

 

[Rodley]

Red Lester

Tricky striker and dyed in the wool socialist Jack Lester travels to Russia to trace the formation of the USSR.

 

[Sean Thornton]

"This Unsporting Life"

It's not just @sheffieldunitedfansareadisgrace as the players unsportingly pass the ball around to run down the clock against an insignificant Hull City side.

Starring Hannibal Lecter as Chris "Wild" Wilder "I ate his liver with an ice cold Peroni"

Norman Bates as Alan Kill Knill " Well done lads, now straight to the shower"

Nurse Ratched as Nigel Madkins "take your goose supplements NOW"

Mr Potter as Kevin McCabe, who finds the gate money in Prince Abdullahs rolled up copy of the Riyadh Sunday Sport.

25000 Blades fans as themselves. Scum.

Woodward and Bernstein as the local reporters who break the story.

Rating - Ole, Ole, Ole. 3 points out of three.

 

[Feo]

Red Lester

Tricky striker and dyed in the wool socialist Jack Lester travels to Russia to trace the formation of the USSR.

I’ve read that. It’s a bit cheesy IMO

 

[Sean Thornton]

I’ve read that. It’s a bit cheesy IMO

It's crackers.

 

[brownie4583]

Starbuck and Hutch.
Phil Starbuck and Don Hutchison are recruited to clean up the streets of New York and cut crime which is at an all time high.
They are overseen by the captain Chris Morgan and target the drug lord Jose Baxter.

 

[Valleyblade]

Charlie brooker's red white and black mirror.

Set in a near dystopian future, ex blades Kyle Walker, and harry "slab head" Maguire, battle it out in a pointless contest, in an empty stadium, played by multi millionaires, and only watched by folk streaming on small screens, in the background....


Staring nick "Monty" Montgomery, as Luca Modric.

 

[8lade]

Last of the Summer Whine

Sheffield United fans complain when a missing brass farthing turns up in Kevin McCabe's bank account which should have been used to sign Martin Waghorn.

 

[Rodley]

Springwatch

24hr live feed of former Blades Midfielder Matthew Spring. Press the red button for live commentary by Nick “Monty” Montgomery.

 

[Rodley]

See Montgomery Burns

Watch former Blade and ex-pat Nick “Monty” Montgomery run the survival gauntlet out in the Australian bush without his sunscreen. In this week’s episode the blazing 45 degree heat leads to another bout of hallucinations.

 

[Rodley]

Done-Tonne Abbey

Period drama charting the rise of the Lancastrian-Norwegian aristocrats, the Done-Tonnes, in the early 19th century. This week Erik takes great delight at the belated January arrival of his new Spanish mastiff puppy, Juanpi. And young Master Matty’s highandedness with a chambermaid results in a harsh lesson in gentlemanly conduct from old Groundskeeper Monty.

 

[Rodley]

Enda’s Genders

Struggling with the difference between G, B & Q? Don’t know your polysexual from your polyfilla? Everyone’s favourite Dubliner takes an informative look at gender in the post-modern world.

 

[gordoncharles]

Everybody Loves Raymond

No matter what Ray Lewington does, he always finds himself at the mercy of his overbearing bosses. This long running show has nearly always been set in London and Ray just keeps getting those jobs no matter how unlikely it seems. Hilarity ensues, as it did in that famous episode set in Nice when he and his equally taciturn sidekick Roy Hodgson pretended to manage the England football team against a stag party of bearded Icelandic trawlermen.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Other People's Money

Kevin "Kev the asset stripper" McCabe ( played by George Clooney) has become rich in the property game. But his new strategy is to buy a football club in the belief that losing millions is the way to ultimate success, assisted by sons Scott ( Leonardo di Caprio) and Simon ( Louie Anderson)

He sets his sight on struggling Sheffield United but some fans ( ) don't want him but do want his money.

The film climaxes with his opponents flooding the annual general meeting to get him out.

No one says anything and they all queue up to have a photo with him afterwards.


Gary Sinclair plays the part of Nick Monty Montgomery as MC of the AGM.

 

[LenTednTony]

The Long and Winding Road. A serial about Sheff Utd goalkeeper, once the darling of the crowd, is spurned by his true love (Sheff Utd) and ridiculed to a point where he can no longer tolerate his decimated career. He leaves Bramall Lane for a long journey south where he quickly finds another lover to give him back his self esteem. That romance comes to a friendly end and he ambarks in the Long road back up north to another great relationship. GLTTL!

 

[brownie4583]

Blake’s Seven
Nathan Blake captains the liberator to far away planets with his team consisting of Paul ‘the bees’ Beesley,Ashley Fickling,Doug Hodgson,Jostein Flo and Mark Blount.
There are only six members you say,well the 7th member was a computer.
Nathan also wanted to take his mum but she failed the space travel medical tests beforehand.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Harry Worth

Long running comedy about how much Sheffield United should have got for Harry Maguire.

 

[Kozzy_is_my_Dad]

Harry and the Hendersons.

Increasingly popular United loanee Dean Henderson still lives with his Mum. He manages to persuade his folks to put up former United star and current England centre back-turned-cult hero Harry Maguire in their spare room.

Tune in as the shaggy haired goalie and beast of a man get up to all sorts of mischief.

 

[gordoncharles]

Cheers

Starring Bryan Robson

 

[LenTednTony]

Police Kamara Action . Starring Kris Kamara who is chased by the Special Branch led by chief inspector Nick “Monty” Montgomery who wants to arrest Kamara for missing the action when he is commentating as a man gets sent off that he thinks has been sub’d!

 

[I should coco]

Scott ( Leonardo di Caprio) and Simon ( Louie Anderson)

Aw Si!

Shouldn't I be played by Vin Diesel, Jason Statham or Chuck Norris?

 

[I should coco]

Harry Worth

Long running comedy about how much Sheffield United should have got for Harry Maguire.

Now on its 19th series.

The critics all agreed it stopped being a 'comedy' some time in the first episode.

Harry doesn't even do the leg and arm lift in the shop window any more. His agent says it is too risky and he has other better earners for him.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Aw Si!

Shouldn't I be played by Vin Diesel, Jason Statham or Chuck Norris?

They all said thanks but no thanks. Pee Wee Harmon was up for it though! .

 

[shorehamview]

Aw Si!

Shouldn't I be played by Vin Diesel, Jason Statham or Chuck Norris?

Su Pollard can play you.

 

[Guesty]

Sharp Objects!

In the second series of the show based on Gillian Flynn's best seller, the action moves to the Courtroom as the murderer from season one is put on trial. The lawyer for the defence is Billy Sharp and every time the prosecution tries to put something into evidence, you guessed it, Sharp objects.

Also starring Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as the Judge.

 

[I should coco]

Su Pollard can play you

Thanks for that.

Su is a big name in the world of top best unfunny sitcoms, so I'm very happy with that.

Maybe, just maybe, there's a joke about a Chinese holiday camp sitcom.

Hao Haidong di hi!

A Maoist work camp featuring Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as Chairman Mao and Dennis Longhorn as Ted Bovis.

To show his professional versatility, Nick 'Monty' Montgomery also appears as Gladys Pugh.

The Chinese population of over 1 billion are played by some of the S6 massive.

 

[TJB.]

Li Tie Ties Lee's Tie - Former Blade Li Tie passes on his infamous knowledge of ties exclusively to people called Lee. This weeks' guest star is sweaty unfunny tosspot comedian Lee Evans.

 

[I should coco]

What have the Stuarts ever done for us?

Graham and Mr Scullion discuss their piss poor scoring records at the Lane.

Mr Scullion is let off on the basis he played with Badger, Woody and Currie, but Graham is pilloried for his late grass cutter that Honest-Hans Segers managed to theatrically avoid.

The show was only aired once as the station was besieged by United fans demanding no repeat.