Stuff the shop should sell.

[shorehamview]

As I sit here this morning, thinking generally about life and all it's mysteries, my mind has wandered through many subjects, but one that stuck with me is the club shop. Specifically, why does it sell some of the shit that it does, and why doesn't it sell stuff that it doesn't?
Why do they flog club laptops, and not Bob Booker duvet covers?
They seem to be missing a trick there.

They could be flogging and making good money on a myriad of other wonderful stuff, but have decided that rehashing a load of old football quotes and sticking them on t-shirts is a good plan. "Never Ever"? What the fuck's that all about? What's wrong with a t-shirt stating that the wearer would rather be eaten by wild dogs than pay to watch Wendy?

What else should they be selling?

 

[Rich]

Sheffield United tropical fish. Perhaps similar to a neon tetra but available in home and away colours.
Sheffield united dinner-set and cookware. Because a blades apron alone simply isn't enough to tell everyone that whilst I'm cooking/eating I am in fact a fan of the blades.
Sheffield United toilet paper. Actually, scratch that one. Maybe Wendy/Leeds toilet paper? I don't think I could wipe my bum on the club's crest.

 

[SotonBlade]

Nipple Tassles!

 

[torridon]

that stuff that stops you biting your finger nails, i'm fed up with chewing mine down to the quick every other week from august to may!!

 

[jose_d_blade]

rose tinted shades
i think i need a pair

 

[matth]

Right backs - buy one, get one half price

 

[SwissBlade]

Shirts with Velcro patches where the name should go so that we can replace the names of our Stars when we flog em

 

[SotonBlade]

rose tinted shades
i think i need a pair

i think there's a fair few lads and lasses in need of these on here after some of the posts i've read the last few days!

 

[Sensiblade]

Beer and the accompanying goggles

 

[Bladesman]

mini rolls.

 

[gregblade]

What a superb idea for a post! Well done shoramview!

what about a "Tony CurrY" a microwaveable meal for 1 with high amounts of endorphins. It can be used as a "pick me up" for every blades fan. Usually consumed between 5:30pm and 6pm every saturday.

They should also sell ear plugs, for those of us that have "the annoying prick" sat behind us. Theres one in every gangway, so most of us have to suffer. Ear Plugs would solve this problem and they could also drown out the noise of them bloody horns and clappy things they give kids!

and Finally....Sheff Utd USB Pen Drives. They come fully loaded with the best United memories. Theres a choice in size of 64mb and 128mb, ample space to store several other documents too.

 

[SotonBlade]

They should also sell ear plugs, for those of us that have "the annoying prick" sat behind us. Theres one in every gangway, so most of us have to suffer. Ear Plugs would solve this problem and they could also drown out the noise of them bloody horns and clappy things they give kids!

I have an alternative idea for this. 'The Thug Plug'. A dummy device for adults which can be shoved in the gob of said 'annoying prick' to shut him up during the game! :thumbup:

 

[gregblade]

I have an alternative idea for this. 'The Thug Plug'. A dummy device for adults which can be shoved in the gob of said 'annoying prick' to shut him up during the game! :thumbup:

That does sound good! That way the problem would be fixed completely, rather than my suggestion of ear plugs which simply prevents the problem being heard.

I have the same guy, skin head, glasses, blue coat sits 3 rows behind me and all he does is slag Monty and Quinn off all game. Was rather funny last season after hearing him slag Quinn of for ages calling him w**k, and a ginger c**t and watching Quinn score a lovely free kick against Charlton and then him going deafly silent. haha

 

[SwissBlade]

That does sound good! That way the problem would be fixed completely, rather than my suggestion of ear plugs which simply prevents the problem being heard.

I have the same guy, skin head, glasses, blue coat sits 3 rows behind me and all he does is slag Monty and Quinn off all game. Was rather funny last season after hearing him slag Quinn of for ages calling him w**k, and a ginger c**t and watching Quinn score a lovely free kick against Charlton and then him going deafly silent. haha

On that note, SUFC Quinn screen (SPF 8000) for the quinn family

 

[La_Blade]

They used to sell proper zippo lighters with the club crest on it, and now they don't which is shit.

 

[SwissBlade]

They used to sell proper zippo lighters with the club crest on it, and now they don't which is shit.

We used to have 2 Kyles and now we don't, which is also shit!

 

[Deleted member 1486]

A 2009 blue and white commemorative paint pot themed mug. On account that anyone who pays thousands of pounds a year to watch a football team and then has to paint their own fucking stadium is a mug.

 

[SwissBlade]

A 2009 blue and white commemorative paint pot themed mug. On account that anyone who pays thousands of pounds a year to watch a football team and then has to paint their own fucking stadium is a mug.

Ltd edition of just 5, each individually numbered :thumbup:

 

[Bladesman]

Porn mags to give us something to read during the match.

 

[torridon]

And a straight jacket to tie up my arms to prevent me from pulling my hair out every other week from august to may!!!!

 

[SotonBlade]

We used to have 2 Kyles and now we don't, which is also shit!

Very topical, congrats!

 

[Jimbo]

Ecstasy tablets... to cheer up some of the permanently miserable members of this forum!

Or a half empty glass in their honour!

 

[mattbianco1]

In seriousness, they should start selling Canvas prints of some of the memorable moments, like Jags' strikes vs Leeds & Middlesbrough. Peschi's celebration vs Forest Browns volley vs Wednesday, stuff like that.

They used to sell (years ago) a massive picture frame with all of the home kits of all time, made out of pot or plaster or something. Each kit was about 3 inches long. It was awesome, my mates dad had one when i was at school. Never seen one since. Has anybody else seen one?

 

[jose_d_blade]

A shirt framing service would be good on open days so you can get your shirt signed and framed on the same day

 

[happyhippy]

In seriousness, they should start selling Canvas prints of some of the memorable moments, like Jags' strikes vs Leeds & Middlesbrough. Peschi's celebration vs Forest Browns volley vs Wednesday, stuff like that.

Alan Damms has already cornered the market in that Seeing as I know Foxy has a few of his prints, and Alan's a Blade, I hope it's ok to put Alan's website up ..... http://www.sportingstrokes.co.uk/ .....

 

[shorehamview]

I fancy one of those fairground "bash the rat" games, with Wendy players instead of rats. Carlton Palmer, Waddle, Fat Mel, David Hurst, and another Carlton just to be sure of hitting the lanky twat.

The new Endorsed By Paddy Homeopathic Remedies will be out soon.

 

[mattbianco1]

Alan Damms has already cornered the market in that Seeing as I know Foxy has a few of his prints, and Alan's a Blade, I hope it's ok to put Alan's website up ..... http://www.sportingstrokes.co.uk/ .....

Yeah i've got them which is what made me think of them on canvas.

 

[uniblade]

Quality enamel badges please just like the ones for sale around 10+ years ago

 

[ThatJa]

Sheffield United condoms. football pleasure during sex. Awesome.

 

[La_Blade]

A shirt framing service would be good on open days so you can get your shirt signed and framed on the same day

Going a little off topic, can anyone recomend a good framing services please? I've got a shirt signed by the promotion winning side of 2006 complete with Sharps signature before he went to scunny. Courtesy of James Ashmores dad :thumbup: