Some questions for you
AmandaProvan
What beer will you have on sale, and what are the prices? I can’t help but notice that in the pictures of your hotel bar there is an alarming lack of hand pumps for proper beer, although lager that pretends to have been brewed abroad seems to be on offer.
The breakfast “barm” is presumably imported from foreign parts, as we’ve no clue round here what a barm is. Is it a misspelling of “barn”, in which case £13.50 seems like a bloody bargain, or is it as I suspect a poor imitation of that Sheffield staple, a breadcake?
If it is indeed some kind of foreign breadcake making a sneaky appearance in the glorious garlanded halls of the hotel, what will be in it? Will it be straining to hold in the delights of a full English breakfast, including but not limited to crispy bacon, delicious sausages, a fried egg or two, yolks glistening like the bald bit on a certain midfield midget’s dodgily combed bonce, will there be hash browns, that delicious American interloper, baked beans from a recognised quality supplier and not Brakes’ own brand from a tin the size of a gasometer, and even the scrapings from under Beelzebub’s foreskin, aka mushrooms? You can keep the mushrooms.
Or perhaps will it be a sorry looking bread roll, not worthy of the appellation of “breadcake”, with one or two sad looking and rather floppily undercooked bacon rashers and a sausage that’s made from what you would only with the very highest degree of optimism call “pork”? I hope for the former, and yet fully expect the latter.
I look forward to your elaboration on the quality of beer and breakfast “barm” we are being asked to fork out £13.50 for, and also can point out that there are many establishments nearby where a full English breakfast and a decent drink will cost less than £13.50.