Piggy jokes

[davidpinder]

Had any sent to you yet just had my first...

A blind man is in a pub and gets talking to the guy next to him, the blind man tells him fetch me any football and i'll tell you where its from. So the guy brings him a ball, shakes it and the blind man says this balls from Newcastle i can hear the magpies.The guy is shocked so gets him another, the blind man says that's from Norwich i can hear the canaries. So the guy is just gob smacked so gets him one last ball the blind man shake it and says that's from Sheffield Wednesday, the guy says why can you hear the Owls? the blind man says NO ITS GOING DOWN.

 

[Private Widdle]

The football league has announced this morning that all championship games are soon to be played over a shortened six day week, a league spokesman said this morning, from next season all championship teams will not be playing wednesday!

 

[shorehamview]

My mother-in-law said to me "You think more of Sheffield United than you do of me."

I said "To be honest I think more of fucking Wednesday."



I went to the doctor the other day. He said I'm suffering from stress, and need to be in a quiet environment far away from crowds.

He prescribed me a season ticket for Wednesday.

 

[Gazza1984]

Sheffield Wednesday have made an audacious attempt to land Mr Messi for next season.

If successful they plan to follow up with bids for Mr Bump and Mr Silly.

 

[boo radley]

Sheffield Wednesday are to sign the leagues first gay goalkeeper. When asked why in particular the Owls he replied ''Playing behind ten arseholes in front of twenty thousand pricks was just too good to turn down''.

 

[gazza]

I was walking past Hillsboro' the other day and saw an Owls season ticket nailed to a tree. I thought " I'm having that"!

Well, you can never have enough nails, can you?

 

[mattbianco1]

There's been a disaster and the 7 dwarf's are lost in a collapsed cave. The rescue team go in and shout " Can anybody hear me? Is anybody there?"

The reply comes "Wednesday's staying up!"

The rescuers say "At least Dopey's still alive!"

 

[mattbianco1]

Sheffield Wednesday have made an audacious attempt to land Mr Messi for next season.

If successful they plan to follow up with bids for Mr Bump and Mr Silly.

Mr Grumble would be better!!

 

[Compound_Legend]

Apparently, Strafford was begging Irvine yesterday for 'em to stay up as after Hull's relegation back to the championship,as he says it means at least one trip to the KFC....

Pig Fan goes into a brothel...asks the madam for a price list...
She pipes up "You can feel their tits for a tenner,and a handjob's twenty" .
Pig fan asks "What about feeling a c**t?"
"30 notes"
"Jesus,it only costs £25 at Hillsborough!"

An eminent politician has been been uncovered by a Sunday newspaper after enjoying kinky sex sessions with a woman called "Miss Whiplash" .The man,who cannot be named,enjoyed regular 2hr sessions dressed in a gimp mask,nappy and a Sheffield Wednesday home shirt.

Apparently a source close to his family made the following comment...
"His family can accept the gimp mask,the nappy,and the strange sexual tastes.But wearing a Wednesday shirt...well,that's just too embarassing for them to comprehend..."

 

[TheSwollengland]

One for the older ones ...

Wednesday.....the only football team to lose on Fantasy Island ..they lost 5-0 and Tattoo got four with his head...

Younger ones will have to Google it

 

[roger mortis]

Three aged gentlemen in a church praying
first on asks "lord, when will england win the world cup?" god replys "in 5 years my son" the old man says i'll be dead by then
2nd old man asks "lord when will Arsenal win the premiership?" the good lord answers " in ten years time my son"
third fellow says "lord, when will wednesday get back in the premiership?" and god says "bloody hell i'll be dead by then"




..........i'll get me coat :0)

 

[GoldCoast Blade]

2nd fellow should say i'll be dead by then aswell

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sheffield Wednesday are shit

 

[Sean the Blade]

Female Wendy fan walks out the club shop, into Penistone Road & straight under a bus. There's blood & snot everywhere & she's screaming & shouting fit to wake the dead. The paramedic arrives and begins to treat the woman "Where does it hurt love?"
"Mi arms, mi legs, mi head!"
"Where are you bleeding from?"
"Parsons Cross, what the fuck's that got ter do wi you!?"


A little boy get separated from his mum in TJ Hughes, so he approaches a member of staff. The kind lady offers to put a tannoy message out for his mum "What's she wearing darling?" asks the lady
"Jeans and a Sheffield Wednesday shirt"
"Okay, and what's she like?"
"Big cocks and Bacardi Breezers!"

 

[mattbianco1]

What's a catholic choirboy and Sheff wed got in common? They'll both be going down on sunday!

Sheffield wednesday...... About as much chance of staying up as an erection in Susan Boyles bedroom.

If alan Irvine's men can't find the net this weekend, how the f*ck are they gonna find Exeter next season!

They've started painting Submarine's blue and white. Apparently it helps them go down quicker.

Bloke goes to a brothel and says "I'm really kinky, how much for total humiliation?" Madam replies "£70"... "What do i get for that?" "A sheff wed shirt and a ticket for Sunday"