Fuck Man U, UTB,...and a taco

[Yank]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

 

[FallowfieldBlade]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

Kick that douche in the gonads dude

 

[woody_7]

put mega hot hot sauce in your next taco then !

 

[BushBlade]

I knew someone who kept getting his milk nicked at work (I had colleagues who had breakfast at work, sad fuckers) so left a bottle in the fridge containing a mix of milk and piss.

 

[BushBlade]

Do a shit in your next taco then !

I’m not a bad man really.

 

[BLADES1988]

I’d recomend the ghost chilli sauce from Morrison’s! It should be illegal

 

[west_yorks_blade]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

I feel your pain.

In fact, such is the contempt and anger I feel towards plastic tossers that latch onto clubs purely & obviously just because they have been successful, and then have the cheek to scoff at supporters who have remained loyal to unglamorous clubs through thick and thin, that I can’t write a logical or coherent response.

So I need to stop and calm down before I blow a blood vessel.

 

[Bartleby]

put mega hot hot sauce in your next taco then !

or laxatives !

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

I get it with Leeds fans where I am - which is why last season was particularly sweet

 

[Sharrow Snuff Mill]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

Ask him three questions for starters :-
1. Which part of Manchester are you from ?
2. When did they last gain promotion ?
3. Which team is the original United which other teams copied ?

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

1. Which part of Manchester are you from ?

Why does that matter?

 

[BushBlade]

Ask him three questions for starters :-
1. Which part of Manchester are you from ?
2. When did they last gain promotion ?
3. Which team is the original United which other teams copied ?

Then ask him who was the manager when they last got promoted, why he got sacked and who replaced him.

Then who did they sign Cantona from, how much for and who were they playing against when he attacked a supporter.

They’re pretty basic ones that any Man U fan should have no trouble answering.

 

[CarlMcBlade]

Ask him three questions for starters :-
1. Which part of Manchester are you from ?
2. When did they last gain promotion ?
3. Which team is the original United which other teams copied ?

I tend to prefer “Whereabouts in Old Trafford do you sit?”
But to be fair I don’t mind MU fans, it’s the self-entitled Scousers I don’t like.

 

[Sharrow Snuff Mill]

Why does that matter?

If he`s not from Manchester or a Man U family then he is a plastic. The strength and depth of British football is about people supporting their local club. I have every respect for, lets say, a Bury or Oldham fan, and very little for, (as an example), someone like Jeremy Clarkson who hails from Donny but identifies with Chelsea.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

If he`s not from Manchester or a Man U family then he is a plastic.

I'm not from Sheffield or from a Sheffield United family.

Am I a plastic?

 

[Kev Gee]

Ask him if he knows who Newton Heath are?

 

[Paisley Blade]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

He got my like at 'dickbag'.

 

[super_pig]

Ask him three questions for starters :-
1. Which part of Manchester are you from ?
2. When did they last gain promotion ?
3. Which team is the original United which other teams copied ?

ask him why his team is called Manchester when they are from the other side of the river irwell ie not from manchester

 

[Sharrow Snuff Mill]

I'm not from Sheffield or from a Sheffield United family.

Am I a plastic?

How come you`re a Blade ?

 

[Yellarbellyblade]

I'm not from Sheffield or from a Sheffield United family.

Am I a plastic?

Me too then mate

 

[shorehamview]

I'm not from Sheffield or from a Sheffield United family.

Am I a plastic?

Fucking glory hunters.

 

[Bladesman]

Then ask him who was the manager when they last got promoted, why he got sacked and who replaced him.

Then who did they sign Cantona from, how much for and who were they playing against when he attacked a supporter.

They’re pretty basic ones that any Man U fan should have no trouble answering.

I always find it bizarre when I am able to answer general knowledge questions on other clubs their own fans should know. More so when it is someone who lives in the UK and actually attends matches.

 

[Ivanhoe]

I'm not from Sheffield or from a Sheffield United family.

Am I a plastic?

I wonder if I am a plastic too, the majority of my family were ‘Dirties’.

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

I’d recomend the ghost chilli sauce from Morrison’s! It should be illegal

Nah mate. This is the one.



Genuinely thought my lips were blistering. I dipped a cocktail stick in it, that's all. Wow. My mouth was leaking saliva at an incredible rate.

Some poor cunt dipped his sausage roll in it.

 

[metalblade]

We had a bloke at work who would eat other peoples snap until the day we left two cream buns in the mess room filled with dog laxatives. He was off work 3 days and looked really drained on his return, cured him though food never went missing after that.

 

[stringjunior]

ask him why his team is called Manchester when they are from the other side of the river irwell ie not from manchester

They aren't in Manchester, but as for the wrong side of the river? I'm not so sure

 

[Bladesman]

We had a bloke at work who would eat other peoples snap until the day we left two cream buns in the mess room filled with dog laxatives. He was off work 3 days and looked really drained on his return, cured him though food never went missing after that.

Sadly I wish something similar could be done to people who steal your cutlery, mugs and plates at work.

 

[Berlin Blade]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

In my betting Facebook group, there are two Man Utd fans and I’ve managed to convince them both to have a £20 bet that we will beat them in one of the games this season. That’s the bet, we get 3pts out of them.

However, I used to work in Manchester and I’ve been saying since the league one season that our team under wilder would beat the moronic, sideways football of Man Utd (under mourinho at the time) and a lot of them laughed their heads off cos we were playing burton Albion and Rochdale every week. I’ve lost touch with some of them, and would love nothing more that beating them this season so I can A) collect my money and B) write a really antagonistic post on Facebook and lose about 15 friends.

 

[Champagneblade]

Fucking glory hunters.

Misery Hunter!

 

[Paulus]

‘‘Tis easy, tell him that research indicates that the majority of males who obsessively associate themselves with elite sporting entities they have no other affiliation with do so to seek to benefit from the reflected glory of the team and to compensate for inadequacies in themselves - In other words he’s got a small dick.

 

[BigBed]

This guy at work is a huge Man U fan, and if that didn't automatically make him a dickbag of the highest order, he also anytime the Prem or the Blades are brought up during lunch or breaks by me and some other coworkers in respect to their own favorite teams, he automatically becomes a smartass and asks why do I or the others support a team no one has never even heard of or care about and not Man U the best team in the world?(Says that last part each and every time). Would be almost laughable and something to shrug off if not for he always then starts rambling on about Man U, their glories, etc. Whenever I try to tune him out, he just gets louder and louder. At this point to shut him the hell up, willing to do about anything. Please please Blades beat the fuck out of Man U when we play them. Fuck them and their smug fucking fans like this dude. Suggestions welcome although working with him on the same floor every day needs to be something sneaky.

UTB.

P.S. I swear this bastard is the one that took my taco I had put in the fridge Tuesday.

Man u, il always remember them as the first team to concede a goal in the prem, also losing their first game in the prem, but can't for the life of me remember who they played, can you!?