‘Facts’ about Iliman Ndiaye

[Scarebus]

Illiman Ndiaye was conceived during a thunderstorm.

 

[Champagneblade]

This thread is about Ndiaye, not Kurt Zouma!

One time Iliman kicked a cat accidentally.

The cat apologized.

The cat later stated he'd never been so lovingly caressed before or since.

True story. It was in the Guardian

 

[El Volví]

As a lifelong Blade, N'Diaye modelled his game on the best attributes of his favourite United players growing up:

The agility and movement of Tommy Mooney
The body strength of Andy Parkinson
The tracking back of Michael Higdon
and the finishing of Laurens Ten Heuvel.

Thank fuck he didn't choose the scoring prowess of McBurnie!

 

[Rodley]

[googles Chuck Norris quotes]

 

[El Volví]

If you spell IIiman N'diaye in Scrabble you win!

 

[El Volví]

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but N'diaye beats all 3 at the same time.

 

[jono_t2000]

Iliman Ndiaye doesn't play Fifa in God mode.

God plays Fifa in Iliman Ndiaye mode.

 

[wizadry]

Ndiaye can play baseball and hit home runs with a toothpick.

 

[SwissBlade]

Iliman N’Diaye goes into glass houses just to throw stones

 

[WalkelyFan]

Then went down with cramp

Then went down with cramp

Nothing unusual in that, so did I.

 

[stringjunior]

Iliman N’Diaye goes into glass houses just to throw stones

And when he does nothing breaks.

 

[BushBlade]

And when he does nothing breaks.

That’s because it’s Blade56 greenhouse and it’s got no glass in it.

 

[Bladepicker]

Nothing unusual in that, so did I.

Twice from the look of it

 

[diode_blade]

LLiman went faster to Mars than the Late Colin Pillengers Beagle 2 probe...

So that's why the bugger crashed...

 

[DifferentClass]

Illiman Ndiaye drinks Hendos straight from bottle.

 

[El Volví]

Illiman Ndiaye drinks Hendos straight from bottle.

So do I!

 

[Katzenjammer]

Illiman Ndiaye drinks Hendos straight from bottle.

Me too, a couple of shots to start the day right.

Hendersons Relish that is.

Not "Hendos", because there's no such thing.

 

[Guesty]

Me too, a couple of shots to start the day right.

Hendersons Relish that is.

Not "Hendos", because there's no such thing.

You wait, they'll start putting out some bottles as Hendos just like the Wilkinson's/Wilko thing.

 

[Katzenjammer]

You wait, they'll start putting out some bottles as Hendos just like the Wilkinson's/Wilko thing.

And on that day I'll be stood outside their HQ, bollock-naked, smashing as many bottles of the stuff as possible whilst screaming "IT'S RELISH".

I'll gladly go to jail for this cause.

 

[bornablade]

Illman Ndiaye knows how to fix fax machines.

He's been warned to leave ours alone until September 1st.

 

[Greasy Chap Butty]

Me too, a couple of shots to start the day right.

Hendersons Relish that is.

Not "Hendos", because there's no such thing.

They label it like just for the Spanish market, pronounced 'Endoth'

 

[stringjunior]

And on that day I'll be stood outside their HQ, bollock-naked, smashing as many bottles of the stuff as possible whilst screaming "IT'S RELISH".

I'll gladly go to jail for this cause.

The Henderson's own recipe book calls it Hendos on the from cover. You'd think they'd know.

 

[Katzenjammer]

They label it like just for the Spanish market, pronounced 'Endoth'

They'll try rolling it out in Wales soon too:

"Hendopwygollysteddogowlltffogod."

 

[El Volví]

The Henderson's own recipe book calls it Hendos on the from cover. You'd think they'd know.

Exactly!

 

[Katzenjammer]

The Henderson's own recipe book calls it Hendos on the from cover. You'd think they'd know.

Then they'd also know that no fucker in Sheffield was calling it "Hendos" prior to roughly a decade ago, before those two terminally unamusing fellows known as 'The Everly Pregnant Brothers' popularised it.

 

[DifferentClass]

And on that day I'll be stood outside their HQ, bollock-naked, smashing as many bottles of the stuff as possible whilst screaming "IT'S RELISH".

I'll gladly go to jail for this cause.

The new Hendos popchips have Hendos right on the packaging

 

[Katzenjammer]

The new Hendos popchips have Hendos right on the packaging

Thankfully, this blasphemous nonsense hasn't spread to most of their range or merchandise. But I'm boycotting the crisps, naturally.

Needless to say, if it ever appears on the bottles, the fucking lot's going up.

 

[TopBoy]

Iliman Ndiaye can nutmeg a mermaid.

 

[Blade56]

That’s because it’s Blade56 greenhouse and it’s got no glass in it.

Has now BB

 

[Gimli]

Fact. Iliman is on my mind.
Fact. He wears the 29.