‘Facts’ about Iliman Ndiaye

[ekke287]

When Iliman was born, the nurse said
"Congratulations Mrs Ndiaye, it's a player."

Actually he was born kicking a football.

He shot out, went round the doctor and shagged the nurse.

 

[SwissBlade]

He was the basis of the character who died in the Fawlty Towers episode The Kipper and The Corpse.

The character called Mr Leeman was seemingly taken ill after eating a kipper for breakfast and passed away.

ill Leeman died.

Ill Leeman Never Died

 

[jono_t2000]

Ndiaye doesn't need to put gas in his car, it runs on fear.

Ndiaye doesn't need to look at a clock, he tells the clock what time it is.

 

[Peezablade]

The snortbeasts at S6 foresaw his coming 40 years ago and created a prayer chant to stop his birth.

‘Die, die, piggy piggy Ndiaye, singing die, die, piggy piggy Ndiaye' etc.

However, in wonderful quirk of fate, Illi’s mum, Mary, named him in such a way that the prayer chant could be adopted by the Mighty Blades. The rest will eventually be history

 

[Karaoke Blade]

The snortbeasts at S6 foresaw his coming 40 years ago and created a prayer chant to stop his birth.

‘Die, die, piggy piggy Ndiaye, singing die, die, piggy piggy Ndiaye' etc.

However, in wonderful quirk of fate, Illi’s mum, Mary, named him in such a way that the prayer chant could be adopted by the Mighty Blades. The rest will eventually be history

Ridiculous. The snortbeasts never look to the future, only the past.

 

[utblades]

Iliman Ndiaye came before the Chicken and the Egg!​

 

[diode_blade]

He can dunk 10 digestives at once.......

 

[Keen Blade]

He can dunk 10 defenders at once

 

[Big Hitter]

With Illy you get the smooth with the smooth.

 

[Scarebus]

He can dunk 10 digestives at once.......

He can eat 6 cream crackers in a minute.

 

[stringjunior]

He completes the cinnamon challenge for breakfast daily

 

[Sheff de party]

If a tree falls in a deserted forest, it was probably unsuccessfully trying to slide tackle Iliman Ndiaye.

 

[Big Hitter]

Has this thread run its course do you think.?

 

[Katzenjammer]

Iliman reads and understands the terms and conditions before clicking Accept.

 

[diode_blade]

Has this thread run its course do you think.?

No, lliman ran past it

 

[Sheff de party]

Iliman Ndiaye knows Victoria’s secret.

 

[Tarqs]

Ndiaye has completed all Panini books... full of Lewis grabbans

 

[SwissBlade]

N’Diaye qualified as a doctor of rocket science level brain surgery and said it was too easy

 

[SwissBlade]

When N’Diaye flys, he doesn’t need to watch and listen to the safety briefing as he knows that it never varies from plane to plane

 

[jono_t2000]

On the 7th day, God rested.... Iliman Ndiaye took over

 

[ReeceofBDTBL]

Illiman N’Diaye can believe it’s not butter

 

[ReeceofBDTBL]

Illiman N’Diaye wears sunglasses to protect the sun from his eyes

 

[ReeceofBDTBL]

Illiman N’Diaye knows who owns the freehold

 

[stringjunior]

Illiman N’Diaye can put Ikea furniture together without any bother

 

[ReeceofBDTBL]

Illiman N’Diaye went skydiving and his parachute failed, so he took it back for a refund

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

When Jesus walked on water he met N'Diaye coming the other way carrying Moses on his shoulders.

 

[Blade for Sale]

Iliman Ndiaye was the zone man at Filbert Street despite not having been born yet

 

[Ricardo Mantelban]

Illyman Ndiaye mentioned the Spanish Inquisition.

 

[ReeceofBDTBL]

Illiman N’Diaye cut his own umbilical chord with a through ball to Morgan Gibbs White

 

[DifferentClass]

Jeff Lynne wrote Strange Magic about Illiman Ndiaye.

(Okay, he actually wrote it about Trevor Francis but let's pretend he didn't)