‘Facts’ about Iliman Ndiaye

[Sheff de party]

Iliman Ndiaye switched off the bedroom light last night and was in bed before it got dark.

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Iliman Ndiaye switched off the bedroom light last night and was in bed before it got dark.

He skipped past everyone as he charged up the stairs to bed and before anyone could catch him to say goodnight, he'd tucked himself in the corner

 

[mattbianco1]

When he lost his virginity, he won it back!

 

[Katzenjammer]

Everytime he does that tornado gesture, at least 180 people are killed and thousands more left homeless in tropical storms in the southern hemisphere.

 

[Scarebus]

Illiman Ndiaye has posters of Illiman Ndiaye on his bedroom wall

 

[west_yorks_blade]

A big club like Bournemouth will come knocking and ....you can guess the rest

 

[S64 Blade]

He was actually called Illiwoman Ndiaye, prior to his sex change in 2018.

 

[Jimmy Fleck]

He once fought sadio mane in the Senegal training camp for taking the last poached egg in the breakfast buffet.

 

[ekke287]

Beck had to rewrite a version of his hit song “Loser”, where every mention of the word loser is changed to winner.

This is in case Iliman Ndiaye ever hums it.

 

[mattbianco1]

The song doesn't go "I, I N, D, Ndiaye"

 

[SW12 to S12 to S18]

Iliman Ndiaye has never visited Burma.

 

[Nosworthys Throw]

Iliman Ndiaye can play the violin, with a piano

 

[Kozzy_is_my_Dad]

When not at training, he spends the day riding first bus around South Yorkshire.

This is because Sheffield's 'daily mainline' is an anagram of Illiman N'Diaye. Rumours are he's mounted a hostile takeover of the firm for that very reason.

 

[NuddysGloves]

Illiman Ndiaye is what Willis was talking 'bout.

 

[Greasy Chap Butty]

He'll be coming round the mountain when he comes.

 

[Kozzy_is_my_Dad]

Illiman N'Diaye hates fucking W*dnesday!

 

[Chezzy Blades]

Illiman N'Diaye once broke a man's arm after he tried to steal the last bottle of Matey Bubble bath from him in Bramley Morrisons.

 

[bibbity bobbity boo]

Gabriel Jesus and Iiman N'Diaye are conjoined twins that were separated at birth. They share the same head.

 

[Katzenjammer]

Illiman Ndiaye's dream as a boy was to win the European Cup with Bristol Rovers.

Said Ndiaye, "I know everybody's sucking me off after that goal against Blackburn, but they've obviously never signed Jamie Cureton on Championship Manager 97/98".

 

[biggiesablade]

Gabriel Jesus and Iiman N'Diaye are conjoined twins that were separated at birth. They share the same head.

Iv just been watching Jesus dancing round defenders for arsenal's first goal yesterday and thought the bang same. Very similar movements

 

[diode_blade]

Illiman N'Diaye was originally cast to be Brains in Thunderbirds

 

[stringjunior]

Illiman N'Diaye was originally cast to be Brian on Praise or Grumble

Fixed it for you

 

[Bladepicker]

When he lost his virginity, he won it back!

Then went down with cramp

 

[Jon Bon II]

A big club like Bournemouth will come knocking and ....you can guess the rest

Sorry but I couldn't help hearing Brian Ferry sing that, like that line in Love is the Drug.

"They say 10 million, we say yes!
Here come Bournemouth - you can guess the rest...."

 

[Shoes_On]

As a youngster, he used to sweep the floor at his mum's hair salon, Curl up N'Diaye

 

[CoatesyBlade]

Iv just been watching Jesus dancing round defenders for arsenal's first goal yesterday and thought the bang same. Very similar movements

And they’re long lost brothers!

 

[Sheff de party]

At 767mph, sound breaks the Iliman Ndiaye barrier.

 

[TJB.]

Iliman's low centre of gravity is aided by the girthy shlong he possesses. He opts for a boxer undergarment on matchdays rather than the usual trunk or brief favoured by players with inferior wangs, which aides the pendulum action deployed by this weighty sausage-of-the-flesh and enables for faster movement to the left or right whilst dribbling.

Defenders who are left on their arses looking upwards by Mr. N'Diaye have spoken of getting a split-second glimpse of his Senegalese short-serpent as he continues his journey towards the goal, with some even alluding to the possibility that they saw its fleshy eye give some sort of 'wink' as a gesture of humiliation. Iliman has been approached for comment.

 

[PokerBlade]

If you can't see N'Diaye then you're only seconds away from conceding a goal.

 

[Scarebus]

Illiman N'Diaye pyjamas are the fastest selling fashion item in both Senegal and Sheffield