Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[Lord Eddard Muir]

The Wisdom of Guuuuuus

Daytime TV phone-in. Gus "Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus" Uhlenbeek attempts to solve viewers' real-life problems using only "inspirational" YouTube videos.

 

[The Crab]

Beatties Meaty Treaties - Craig and James go into the Dog food Business, selling their wares at Car Boots around the country. First flavours from the production line are Hammond Chicken & Sammon Suprise.

 

[Deaneandagana]

Secret Millionaire, real life philanthropist & multi millionaire Kev Macca McCabe, pisses away half his fortune on an ailing English 3rd Division football team, guest appearances by Dean Hammond, Lee Hendrie, Nigel Clough & a cast of thousands more - unmissable.

 

[Barney]

Wide eyes and shaking legs - starring David Weir.

 

[The Crab]

Who Do You Think You Are - A middling League 1 and 2 footballer and his entourage tour the clubs of Britain trying to get into the VIP areas. Hilarity ensues when it becomes apparent that outside Portsmouth or Sheffield, nobody knows who they are, just another bunch of ten bob millionaires.

 

[Kenilworth]

The Vagina Monologues.

Back to back re-runs of all Nigel Adkins radio interviews from the 2015/16 season with Sheffield United.

 

[shorehamview]

Monty's Motors. Nick "Monty" Montgomery travels the world looking at motors. This week, the little ones from inside Scalextric cars and Hornby trains. Next week, the little ones inside those electric pencil sharpeners.

 

[shorehamview]

Don's Don. Don Hitchison sits in the River Don counting all the finless brown trout with sweetcorn for eyes that "swim" past.

 

[Tyler Durden]

Who Do You Think You Are - A middling League 1 and 2 footballer and his entourage tour the clubs of Britain trying to get into the VIP areas. Hilarity ensues when it becomes apparent that outside Portsmouth or Sheffield, nobody knows who they are, just another bunch of ten bob millionaires.

Oi, keep it fictional!

 

[Grappler]

Monty's Motors. Nick "Monty" Montgomery travels the world looking at motors. This week, the little ones from inside Scalextric cars and Hornby trains. Next week, the little ones inside those electric pencil sharpeners.

Classic! Sponsored by "Monty's of Sheffield" I hope!

 

[Finn Keane o' Balmaqueen]

I Was Monty's Double

A short three part series on the player's who filled in the role of
United's scapegoat after the sale of Monty Gomery to Woolabaloo Koalas.

Pt 1 - Zinedine ZiDoyle

 

[Finn Keane o' Balmaqueen]

Haslam Sings Harry...

This week, Happy sings...

Belafonte.

Day-Oh! Day-Oh!
Peter's comes and mi-wanna-go-home.

Next week...

Secombe.

 

[Grappler]

Khan with the Wind - classic award winning film set during the American civil war, a young Sheffield United player gets caught up in love, war and politics in the deep south, staring Clark Gable as "Rhett Butler", Vivienne Leigh as "Scarlett O'Hara", Otis Khan as "Otis", and Nick Montgomery as Colonel Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

 

[Grappler]

Take Me Out! - Paddy McGuinness interviews former footballers who came a cropper when being tackled by Billy Whitehurst, Chris Morgan and Trevor Hockey.

 

[Finn Keane o' Balmaqueen]

The Red & White Menstrual Show.

A 21c remake of the popular cultural entertainment show, featuring various United players who
for four/seven days a month, bleed to death whilst complaining about the unpainted walls, the queues in the shops,
the fixing of the kitchen cupboards and the lack of quality sex over the last twenty years.

 

[Grappler]

Shauny Miller - late night ITV US cop drama from the late 70's to early 80's. A former Sheffield United player gets a job as a Detective for the NYPD in New York's Greenwich Village. A great cast of oddball characters and racial stereotype detectives make this worth staying up until 3am to catch. Starring Shaun Miller as "Detective Shauny Miller", Connor Sammon as "Sgt Philip Fish", Daniel Bogdanovic as "Sgt Stanley Wojciehowicz", Hao Haidong as "Sgt Nick Yemana", Alex Sabella as "Sgt Miguel Amanguale, and Nick Montgomery as Deputy Inspector Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

 

[Finn Keane o' Balmaqueen]

The Drugs Don't Work.

A one-hour head-to head between Richard Ashcroft (The Verve) & José Baxteryuff (No Fixed Abode).
discussing the novels of William S. Burroughs.

 

[BushBlade]

Only Fools and Donkeys. New sitcom set in the world of football transfers. Starting Dean Hammond as loveable conman 'Dean-Boy', Mal Brannigan as Trigger, Jim Phipps as Uncle Albert, Kevin McCabe as Boycey and Nick Montgomery as 'Dave'.

 

[Grappler]

BBC2 1am (Open University)

Murphy's Law - join Professor James "Jamie" Murphy as he explains the cause and effect of "Murphy's Law", which states that "you cannot stand in the way of a player wanting to leave". While the law has been disproved in recent years, Doctor Kevin McCabe of Sheffield University (Bramall Lane campus), has vigorously argued that it should be reinstated as actual fact. Counter argument will be provided by Dr Nick "Monty" Montgomery, of Central Coast Polytechnic in Australia, who claims he never wanted to leave Sheffield, but was forced to.

 

[Grappler]

Christian Nade on Jamie Vardy - sports documentary featuring ex boxer and SUFC player, Christian Nade, where he analyses the strengths and weakness of Leicester City's striker, Jamie Vardy.

 

[Kenilworth]

The Herbs

Jose Baxter

 

[Kenilworth]

Silent Witness.

A modern tale of urban noir as this docudrama concludes its search for the villains of the piece. After 46 soul searching episodes of utter incomprehensible drivel we finally see the culprits named and shamed as they parade around Bramall Lane in an identity parade, thinly veiled as a "lap of appreciation"

The plot thickens as two of the main antagonists don't show - one drifts off into oblivion whilst the other ..........


............ to be continued.

 

[Kenilworth]

Blue Peter


Peter Ndluvo searches dogging sites to record the goings on but this series has a twist. The cars are still moving and the participants are attempting to fornicate, en route. It's car crash television with a bang!

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Neill Collins, Jay Mac, Harrison McGahey and Craig Alcock look to carve out a new career after flopping as Sheffield United defenders. Watch as they try to con fans by dressing up as ladies in a bid to become the next big girl band. Will they make it? Find out in 'Goals Allowed'

 

[Alfreton14Blade]

Rappers DeLaet

Ritchie DeLaet tells of how went about putting together his Sugarhill Gang tribute act.

 

[Kenilworth]

Mike Trusson

Deep undercover show where the private parts of people who need athletic support are bugged and recorded.

It's dark, hairy and steamy - just as you'd expect it to be.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

Blue Peter


Peter Ndluvo searches dogging sites to record the goings on but this series has a twist. The cars are still moving and the participants are attempting to fornicate, en route. It's car crash television with a bang!

Bit close to the bone after what happened to poor Adam.

 

[Kenilworth]

X Men

Featuring:

Nigel Adkins as Professor Ex
Dean Wilkins - as Iceman (the trainer)
Connor Sammon as Cyclops (that explains a lot)
Jose Baxter as Rogue
Michael Higdon as Beast
Jay McEvely as Havok
Ryan Flynn as Maggot
Jamal Campbell-Ryce is mis-cast as Box
Dean Hammond as Mirage
Ched Evans as Nightcrawler
and James Wallace as Longshot

 

[Kenilworth]

The PhilJagielka Experiment.
A contractual experiment goes horribly wrong as the central party instigates a penalty clause and hands himself a cut price option to work for Toffee.

 

[Grappler]

BBC1 Thursday 8pm

"Hold the Front, Page!" - World War 1 comedy featuring ex Blade Rob Page as Private Robert "Rob" Page, tasked with holding the front line to ward off the advancing Germans, single handed! Luckily help is at hand with a rag tag band of misfit soldiers including Connor Sammon as Private Connor "Simple" Sammon, Steffan Scougall as Private Steffan "Lofty" Scougall, and everyone's favourite, Nick Montgomery as Private Nick "Monty" Montgomery.