Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[Blade for Sale]

Father Ched
The Craggy Island parochial house receives a new incumbent. Mrs Michael Doyle and Father Scougall co-star. Jean Hackett takes on the role of Jack and all hell breaks loose.

 

[Pierre's PC]

The Katman & Bobbins - Horror channeltastic superhero fest as Petr Katchuro and Nick "Monty" Montgomery prowl the streets of Wombwell solving crime using their powers while fighting off the sex crazed Zombie Girls of Lockys Bar.

 

[The Crab]

The Devlin the Detail - Documentary about Paul Devlin's battle with OCD. In this episode, Paul argues with the Girl who serves him in McDonalds when she inadvertently puts an extra piece of Gherkin on His Big Mac. Later on, Paul's day reaches a new low when he accidentally steps on a crack in the pavement, then at bedtime, puts his left slipper on first instead of the usual right one. Tune in next week for a special "oh bollocks, did I lock the door" special.

Starring Nick Montgomery as "Monty" the McDonalds Store Manager.

 

[Pierre's PC]

Guuused - Fly on the wall documentary on the legendary full backs battle against sex addiction.

Featuring Nick "Monty" Montgomery as The fly.

"Not to be missed" said FHM
"a poignant tale of a man's struggle" remarked lad bible
"hang the fucker" - Jean Hatchet

 

[Sean Thornton]

I dream of Jeanie


Horror story of a young man haunted by a malevolent witch while he sleeps.

 

[Pierre's PC]

Ched-der Cheese - Not one man's quest for pizza as you may expect. No it is actually. Pretty boring eh?

Featuring Nick "Monty" Montgomery as the delivery driver.

 

[elgoog44]

Simon Tracey gets racey, this late night show features local haunts for swinging couples La Chambre, and a few Massage parlours in and around Sheffield, Simon gets up close and personal with the swinging community to find out what they get up to, he bumps into a few old blades including Dean Hammond, lucky for dean only hapless Nigel can see his hard work, as he ploughs Adkins wife, before swapping after five mins due to not having the stamina to go the course..

 

[I should coco]

Herbie rides again

An old VW Beetle with a mind of its own sets off with a Blades player on board for some madcap fun at random destinations.
Episode 1 features new signing Ched Evans and the mischievous car speeds off to North Wales for overnight japes.
Episode 2 Samir Carruthers gets on board for a day out at the races
Episode 3 Marlon King, ice cream in hand, sets of down the A46 for a day in the country
Episode 4 has been postponed. Naughty Herbie tried to take Billy Whitehurst to HMP and came off worse
Episode 5 Newly repaired Herbie sets off to Ches Vegas with the whole team on board and believing they are off to the US gambling city

The show also features ex Blade Nick "Monty" Montgomery as 'the mechanic'.

 

[Pierre's PC]

Perfect plants with Laurens - watch in awe as "Ten Shovels" transforms Gardens across the UK with his enthusiastic love of the tulip. Featuring Nick "Monty" Montgomery as his faithful sidekick and supreme digger of holes.

 

[Rodley]

A Talis of Two Cities

Former Blades keeper Frank Talis discusses a recent house move over a beer.

Morris's Sons

Colin's chat show about the idiosyncrasies of the father-son relationship. This week sees Colin regaling celebrity guests with pithy anecdotes about "Our Lee".

Le Front NatioNalis?

Since the departure of Marine Le Pen, the French far right political party has been like a rudderless ship. In this hard hitting documentary we follow the leadership aspirations of former Blades centre midfielder Lilian Nalis. This week's episode sees our protagonist trying to convince a feisty crowd that Lilian isn't just a name for elderly female pensioners.

"Sing something Semple, you Semple twat"

New fly on the wall documentary which sees Blades youngster Callum Semple pursue his passion for opera and try to launch a one-man show in front of WMCs across the north of England.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Carl The Midwife -
Bradders proves it's never too late to change career paths, as he pursues vocational training in Nursing.

 

[LenTednTony]

Crocodile Monteee, where an ex Sheff United footballer emigrayes to Oz and eventually becomes a Champion Croc wrestler just by kicking lumps out of them.......even though he never knows which way they will eventually travel when he kicks out............

No, you couldn't even write THAT one!

 

[LoxBlade]

Frugal Scougall - We follow recently departed Blade Stefan Scougall as he looks to adapt to being unemployed.

Episode one is an hour long special as we watch Stefan browse comparethemarket.com for the best money saving deals on his bills

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

75 pages?

Whats wrong with you fuckers?

 

[HighfieldBlade]

On and Off Duffield

A fly-on-the-wall documentary into the daily routine of Blade's favourite, Peter Duffield. This week, Peter does the school run followed by a training session at The Lane.

 

[RealMcCoy]

75 pages?

Whats wrong with you fuckers?

Best thread for years!
Can it make the ton?

 

[Nade]

Into the Wilder

Christopher McCandless is resurrected and decides to shirk society all over again, but this time he wants to be shrunk to microscopic size and live inside one of Chris Wilder's blood vessels.

 

[shorehamview]

75 pages?

Whats wrong with you fuckers?

My first thought would be "a lot".

Best thread for years!
Can it make the ton?

You know it. Especially for GRUMPY BLADE

 

[I should coco]

75 pages?

Whats wrong with you fuckers?

Not sure you've got the hang of this. Your suggested 'show' is supposed to be similar to a show/film/play that we recognise and feature a Blade in some corny pun.

I certainly don't recognise '75 pages' as anything currently on the box and 'What's wrong with you fuckers' never played for us (although he may have turned out at Chesterfield?).

Have another go and see if you can get a bit closer, that's the spirit!

 

[Tyler Durden]

Jay Pride.

With a bit of time on his hands after his departure from United, O'Shea becomes a tireless campaigner for the rights of LGBT football players.

 

[I should coco]

Jay Pride.

With a bit of time on his hands after his departure from United, O'Shea becomes a tireless twitcher scouring the country for members of the Family Corvidae.

Watch how pleased and proud he is to spot Magrpies, Carrion Crows, Rooks and the odd Jay, all heading to S6 to release their load.

 

[Sharrow Snuff Mill]

Willie`s Whiskies. Willie Hamilton takes you through his selection of pre-match drinks and how he chooses which one to have half a bottle of, before his mazy run out on to the pitch to play for the Blades.

 

[Pierre's PC]

I'm only happy when it rains - a spellbinding trip through the many faces of Leon Clarke's goal celebrations as imagined by top photographer Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

Nick who counts Kerry Cantona amongst his high profile portfolio of stars, lovingly put this fabulous collection of poses together in the style of Godley and Creme' 's tireless classic "Cry". A haunting soundtrack by Scandinavian music stars Aqua compliments this visual masterpiece perfectly.

 

[brownie4583]

Missing.
A new documentary where Don Givens coaches young players how to take penalties at the BDTBL kop end.
Also starring in goal Ron Green sat on a deck chair smoking a fag.

 

[Rodley]

Willo.I.Am

Lee Williamson stars in this feature-length documentary series about his emotional journey to self-discovery. Tonight's episode sees Lee meet former Blade and trainee faith healer Nick "Monty" Montgomery at the Eileen Drewery Spiritual Academy.

 

[Rodley]

Carr Share

Former Blades junior Darren Carr discusses the highs and lows of a bigamous lifestyle.

 

[elgoog44]

Miltons Crossing :- This gangster remake features power mad and destructive family head McCabe calling the shots, with his old hit man friend Derek Geary pulling the strings and making sure the right people get wacked, small time bookie and hustler famous for his unseen work, Hammond crosses them both and ends up paying the price, also featuring the talents of now legendary actor Nick "Monty" Montgomery as chief inspector Montford better know by his nick name Monty, this classic will be at a preview screen soon.

 

[Rodley]

Ndlovu in an elevator

Hidden camera show where Peter Ndlovu hides in the paternoster lift in Sheffield University's Arts Tower and scares unsuspecting undergraduates.

 

[Rodley]

Cotton Eye Joe

When the GP's Surgery off London Road is shut, former Blade Joe Ironside is forced to treat his near fatal eye infection with the contents of his Missus's handbag.

 

[Rodley]

Fat Bottomed Curle

Keith Curle talks candidly about his battle against arse cellulite.