Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[ShockingBadBuy]

Brilliant, but I think you'd have to bring in Doris Stokes to talk to Ian Porterfield.

The Night Porter/field

Self-reflexive, postmodern horror franchise. In which Chris Porter plays a stoner movie-brat whose college-graduation hangs on the success of his "found footage" film, The Mighty Porter, wherein the titular superhero, by sheer willpower alone (and with a bit of help from Doris Stokes) summons the corpse of Ian Porterfield from the bare clay of Potters Field, Brooklyn. A huge bodycount, but a shit film, ensues. Porter is subsequently replaced by brutalist young turk director, H. Bassett, for The Night Porter/field II, III and IV.

 

[Blade for Sale]

The Sopranos
Stefan Scougall and Louis Reed sing a selection of hymns

 

[HighfieldBlade]

It's Not My Forte

Adopted at birth, Jonathan Forte takes us on an emotional journey, in his quest to track down his biological mother.

 

[shorehamview]

Just a bunch of us acting the twat thats all.

I think the phrase you were looking for is "Just a bunch of us showing how witty and clever we are."

 

[The Crab]

I think the phrase you were looking for is "Just a bunch of us showing how witty and clever we are."

I think twat fits me rather better

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

What to do at after a career in professional football?
Well, for one former Blade it was a complete change of direction into the porn industry.
Watch as the ex-midfielder debuts in his first blue movie 'Paul Rogers'

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Carl Of The Wild

Mssrs Asaba, Veart and Bradshaw in a 3-way survival challenge to be crowned 'King of the Jungle'.

 

[borbokis]

Join John Fleck as he hosts a specially selected panel of comedians and former sportsmen including special guest "nick" monty Montgomery (availability pending) who's job is to figure out who's telling the truth and who's bluffing in tonights
Is he fleckers like!

 

[shorehamview]

A new cover version of the Dead Kennedys classic, "Too Drunk To Fuck ", in which the entire current squad return home to tell their loved ones what a lovely time they all had in Las Vegas.

 

[William Large]

Peter Withe and I.

In which cult film director, Bruce Robinson, re-unites Ian Porterfield and Billy McEwan in a tea room in Penrith to discuss "perfume ponces", the procurement of child's piss, and the pitfalls of coaxing late-career goals from bearded former greats who don't really want to play for the Blades. Co-starring Nick "Monty" Montgomery as Uncle Monty.

Sequel

Withe nails and I.
Billy Mcewan is reunited with Peter Withe and both sent to the lakes to renovate an old garden shed, armed only with a handful of rusty nails and a hammer. The challenge turns into a race against time as Uncle Monty, played by Nick 'Monty' Montgomery hunts down the pair in an attempt to bum the living daylights out of them before they can make the shed secure and hide inside.

And to complete the trilogy

Withe Nalis and I.
Long haired, gypsy lookalike Lilian Nalis drags his hairy French arse out of retirement to rescue the aforementioned duo from Uncle Monty, played by Nick 'Monty' Montgomery. Turns out it was all a huge misunderstanding and hilarity ensues when Nalis arrives to find them all stoned out of their tiny minds. Uncle Monty is rinsing the hapless Mcewan over his decision to loan Withe out to Birmingham city then allow him to play in the next game againt him, scoring both goals which resulted in the difference between staying up and relegation. The dour faced Scottish fuckwit leaves and is never seen again.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Lilian Nalis. It's like the return of the repressed

 

[Rodley]

Ched loves Fannys

Returning striker Ched Evans rediscovers his love of the legendary Blades pub and back street gem, the Lord Nelson.

 

[Pierre's PC]

Casualty - Tonight's exciting show features a 40 car motorway pile up and a race against time to save a small child trapped in the twisted wreckage. Featuring Stefan Scougall as the child and Nick "Monty" Montgomery as a traffic cone.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Casualty - Tonight's exciting show features a 40 car motorway pile up and a race against time to save a small child trapped in the twisted wreckage. Featuring Stefan Scougall as the child and Nick "Monty" Montgomery as a traffic cone.

No role for James Wallace ?

 

[I should coco]

Casualty - Tonight's exciting show features a 40 car motorway pile up and a race against time to save a small child trapped in the twisted wreckage. Featuring Stefan Scougall as the child and Nick "Monty" Montgomery as a traffic cone.

To make matters worse, there is a bag of flares in the car and all are pointing at the young child's face. Can our hero Nick 'Monty' Montgomery throw off the cone disguise and rescue Scougal?

Can Billy Whitehurst and Charlie Hartfield nut their s way out of the wreckage and help with the rescue?

Can the staff at A&E clear James Wallace and John Ebrell from the beds they have blocked for years, to create space for young Stefan?

 

[Dellas Cowboys]

Cheddar Gorge

In this Somerset based show Ched Evans tours the countryside by helicopter looking for hotels (that have actually paid to be featured in the programme).

He is challenged to sneak in through the fire exits and liberate as much cheese as he can from the hotel kitchens.

Bonus for Cheddar. (hotel with most Cheddar stolen offers a free weekend break to the first viewer to call in who can spell cider correctly).

Ched then has to gorge himself on the cheese so that at the end of the 3 part mini series he can claim he's not fit to play for Chesterfield Town and instead can undergo plastic surgery to be handsome enough to play for the good looking god's that are SUFC.

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

The Blades reserve keeper is first to feature in a new series looking at pets and their celebrity owners.
George named his much loved pooch after himself in a show of dedicated affection to his canine buddy.
Such was the special bond that developed between them, that George the dog was deeply affected by his owner's recent trip to Vegas.
Reach for the tissues as you watch the heartbreaking scenes in,
"George Long's George longs for George"
Also features Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as Monty the trolley dolly on the long journey home in one of his most challenging roles to date.
Will he manage to pass an overpriced luke-warm ricotta cheese and raw bacon sandwich to the seat 2 in row Z? You bet he will.

 

[William Large]

Will he manage to pass an overpriced luke-warm ricotta cheese and raw bacon sandwich to the seat 2 in row Z? You bet he will.[/QUOTE]

But only by aiming for seat 6 in row B.

 

[Alfreton14Blade]

Whatever Became of Dean Windass?

Credit to the lad: lost a bit of timber.

 

[Rodley]

Newby Forte

Late 90s loanee Jon Newby and ex-Blade Jonathan Forte star in documentary charting the limited success of their shortlived UB40 tribute act "Newby Forte" on the South Yorkshire pub circuit. This week's episode sees the pair joined on stage at the Big Tree in Woodseats by Nick "Monty" Montgomery, who provides backing vocals for a showstopping performance of "Rat in the kitchen".

 

[Sean Thornton]

The Robson Green Show.

Presented by two cunts.

 

[Highbury_Blade]

Withering Heights.

A show of contrasts as Ex blades front man Peter Withe takes on the Uk's 74 highest peaks with John Inverdale, and they watch a video of each of his games and discuss at the summit.

 

[diode_blade]

Thought I would change tack slightly on this one....

"The Bridge", classic true story of escapees from a dark, big brother oppressive regime....
featuring
Alan Quinn
Leigh Bromby
Derek Geary
Carl Bradshaw

"One flew over the Cukoos nest"
Steve Simmosen

"The not so Great Escape"
featuring Dean Hammond trying to jump over some barbed wire...

film shorts
"Peroni and me...", classic film noir (whatever that means...)
"Vegas or bust"
SUFC 2017

"The Great Escape"
not featuring Dean Hammond
but
Sir Harry Bassett

"The Pride and The Passion"
With
Derek Dooley (RIP)
Shred (RIP)

"Forever Young"
Mel Rees (RIP)

"Sealed With A Kiss Featuring
Alan Birchanall
and
Tony Currie

 

[Sean Thornton]

The Clangers

A look at some of Kevin McCabes managerial appointments.

 

[Grappler]

Ched loves Fannys

Returning striker Ched Evans rediscovers his love of the legendary Blades pub and back street gem, the Lord Nelson.

Ched Loves Fannys 2 - "this time, it's personal"

In this nostalgic sequel, Ched interviews middle aged Bakewell farmers about their teenage years, back in the 80's, when they would get dressed up to the nines, jump on a tractor, and drive to Owler Bar's legendary nightclub, Fannys.

 

[Dec]

Just Tattoo of Gus

60 minute documentary revealing the world's greatest tattoos of Mr. Uhlenbeek.

 

[Rodley]

The Wisdom of Gus

Gus Uhlenbeek shares life experiences, anecdotes and complex geo-political theory to a live audience of world leaders, scientists and Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

 

[elgoog44]

Boyle and Doyle Search for Oil, Peter and Michael go back to Ireland to search for Oil and mainly for the craic, watch as the hapless two find nothing and have to report to there findings Expedition Sponsor Nick "the sniffer Dog" Montgomery, with hilarious consequences.

Think Dallas mixed with Carry on and then think of something far shitter and that is where this show fits, 12, 35 minute episodes to be screened at the most ungodly hour to help people avoid.

 

[elgoog44]

The Devilin I - watch as Paul sets up traps and gags in this caught on camera show, see his side kick Kozluk prank people before he points to the cameras and it all ends in a flurry of laughs.

The first victim is Hollywood and TV star Nicolas "I made it big" Montgomery watch as he gets caught out in the car park in one of Kozzies tricks.

 

[elgoog44]

Dane Whitehouse - tries to re-build your Shyt house. - in this DYI program watch Dane take on renovating houses, he takes on this role, like he used to take on opposition defenders, but with less of a result at the end, his building novice skills start to show as the couple in the house notice more and more damage to there property, by the time Dane is through, there house is worth considerably less, and looks worse than when he started, at least they can now ring DIY SOS.