My take ...

[robbiez666]

Yesterday, he:

• Made more tackles than anyone bar Egan and Baldock.
• Made more interceptions than anyone.
• Made more clearances than anyone.
• Completed more passes than anyone.
• Made more key passes than anyone.
• Put in more successful crosses than anyone.

I’m not going to argue that he was great, because he wasn’t, but there are far poorer performers than Norwood out there.

The one plus in Norwood's favour is the fact he's not hiding. Quite the opposite. I think the percentages on some of those may be interesting reading though!

 

[Geordie Blade]

He also failed to catch Eze and get a telling tackle in as he pressed toward goal (just like Selhurst Park), pointed a lot, made key passes to the opposition too, was outfought a lot in his essential area, failed to hit the target from a very well placed free kick, pointed some more, picked up a fifth yellow card, crossed the ball into the BLLT and failed to impose at all, anywhere.

And as attested, there were poorer performers, like Lundstram and Burke. That's a helluva low bar to get above.

pommpey

Your question was “what does he do?”

As I said, I’m not arguing that he was great (or good, or even average). The point is that he does more than any of the other outfield players (possibly bar McGoldrick - who, for all his ability, gives the ball away more than anyone else).

 

[robbiez666]

Entertaining and mostly spot on. I feel your marks are way too high though.

Norwood was awful but Egan was even more culpable on the goal. His attempt to stop Eze was laughable.

Players ran through him and Basham all game. Thought the latter gave one of his poorest games of the season.

I actually think as bad as Norwood was, he did more things right than Fleck who was even worse. He is completely unfit and its embarrassing watching him try and drag his fat arse up and down.

I love Didzy but he was never in the game really either.

Our players have completely given up. H can say they are trying or giving it their best. They are not. They have mailed it in completely. How else can you explain not running, tackling or even trying to keep the ball longer than a few seconds?

I would not care a jot if most left this summer. The performances and effort this season has deen diabolical. I loved most of these lads but sadly in one year many have shat on their legacy completely in my eyes. Norwood, Fleck, Stevens, Egan are like different footballers.

Bash and Didzy...maybe George are the only three outside Ramsdale that I still have any affection for. Sharp maybe to some degree too.

The rest adding in McBurnie, Burke, Brewster Mousset etc + really can just sod off.

I am a strong advocate for stripping this thing down and starting again. If it means 3 or 4 years in Champ so what? This squad is not getting us back up. If by some miracle it did, then what you have to dump them all anyway as they are almost to a man not Prem League players.

It's not that easy to strip the deadwood when you're useless. It's ok saying happy to be in the Champ for years whilst we rebuild but would we stay in that division if we sold everyone we could and were left with those no one wanted to buy?

In a perfect world we'd go back to the drawing board and start again. We need to change formation and system. Not sure we have the money, youth setup or scouting network to do that.

 

[Geordie Blade]

The one plus in Norwood's favour is the fact he's not hiding. Quite the opposite. I think the percentages on some of those may be interesting reading though!

He had the second highest pass completion, about 87% (Berge had the highest, but only made 16 passes).

 

[Snake]

Started the countdown to match day early this week with the season ticket announcement on Thursday. All the lads got it sorted and we spent the next couple of hour reminiscing about fantastic days gone by and fantastic days to come! Can't wait for next season.

I woke up with the butterflies of match day. Had breakfast, did a bit of pottering around shit and counting down the minutes to kick off. Then I sat back in my chair and watched through splayed fingers. After 8 minutes I gave an almighty roar as news of Rotherham scoring came in. I continued watching inbetween doing loads of pacing around the house just willing the seconds and minutes to pass. Then right on the stroke of half time, the jammy cunts get one. Grrrrrr, it couldn't happen again, could it? Much of the same for the next 50 odd minutes until their fate was finally confirmed, and the dirty, cheating, lying bastards were condemned to the pub league. Commence euphoria and phone calls galore with the lads laughing and joking, texts and whatsapp gifs, memes, videos celebrating their demise. Nothing, and I mean nothing could dampen my day!

I chuckled at our incompetence while doing some chores and shit around the house. Only thing I really remember about our game was Ramsdale actually looking like a quality keeper (distribution apart of course - although he did throw a couple of decent ones out). I sort of lamented our poor fortune for both their goals - but then reality kicked in - unlucky my arse. That's the way it generally goes when it's men against boys. I was interested to see a bit of Jebbison. Wooooh, do we have another DCL on our hands? Big, strong, looks the part, lively, decent touch, decent positional sense,................... if so, pleeeeeeease do not give him away for a couple of red balloons and a bag of sherbet dips.

Ended a fantastic day overall with a curry and couple of cans reading pork talk. Life's good

 

[Lane Ender]

Burke got a 2 from Deadbat and a 3 from you Pommpey and as far as I remember the sun total of his output today was one header miles off target. He's so bad it's not even funny.

No it’s not funny it’s turning to anger with me with Burke even near the starting lineup with Dids who is now showing his years got to be the worst frontmen since Pedro Verde and Barry Butlin

 

[Lane Ender]

Sorry for the delay. Just completed my skit for TheSheffUnitedWay, had my tea (a really great tagliatelle bolognaise and a cool lager, went for a shit (medium soft, good colouration, no blood or worms, decent stools, about three of them) and watched that Kevin Costner film 'Let Him Go' which was dismally predictable and shit, save for a passing performance by Lesley Mandeville and the delectable Diane Lane in full GILF mode.

Shit. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Apart from today's other great news - the utter cunts from S6 failing miserably and tortuously to stay in the Championship and the sacking of the petulant gobshite that is Angela Rayner, apparently we played Crystal Palace today to provide opposition and fixture completion for the Premier League, and welcome three points for the opposition for the twenty-eighth time this season. It's become our duty now to pitch up at games and provide the other team with a team to play against of sorts, if only to give some players an appearance fee and goal bonus. My, how they are gonna miss us soon.

The starting lineup didn't leave much to the imagination as to how the game would start, develop and finish. 'H' (hang on, do AC12 know this?) swapped out the industrious but pointless Osborn for the potential of Berge and to give him some actual game time before we jettison him for an 'undisclosed' fee disappointingly low (but brutally honest) fee.

And hey presto, not even a minute in, Eze is streaking away from Norwood and the rest of midfield toward goal (we've seen this before) to lay it off to the leaden footed Benteke to clip off George Baldock for one-nil, whilst our mercurial number 16 stands like a fucking lamp-post in the penalty area with his hand in the air, hoping the ref, the lino, VAR and the watching public will agree with him that Benteke was offside. Dream on.

We then failed (as we do, always) to make as much of a smear on Crystal Palace's paintwork. It we weren't smacking the ball impressively across the pitch to a solitary, isolated George Baldock on the far flank for him to return it back to Ramsdale via Basham and Egan, we were overpassing, overplaying and simply underperforming right where it mattered. All over the place. Palace just seemed to be taking their time to pick us off and save for a great reaction stop from Ramsdale against Benteke we could have been more goals down. Palace just looked comfortable and at ease with our uselessness. Even Norwood's free kick ended up in the Bramall Lane Lower, and we used to make big about Kozluk crossing it into the kop once. Can anyone tell me what the fuck Oliver Norwood does, apart from fuck things up down there? Can anyone tell me he is now, any better than Michael Doyle or Mark Patterson or Brian Howard, for example? Yet some still suck his dick for what he does and say he'll be good for us next season.

Second half there were marginal improvements, but it's a bit like your first tentative dry fart after a protracted bout of splattering shits. It simply tells you that the worst of it may be over. You still feel rough. And rough is how we were playing. Berge failed to do much but look like he is protecting an injury, Fleck looks like he can't fucking wait to get out, Norwood is hanging onto his sanity (simply knowing his last top flight days are soon over) and the wingbacks just went nowhere special, even when looking like they'd broken through and were able to find a head in the box. Some 17 year old strolled on, looked head and shoulders more capable than the more experienced bloke he'd replaced (and several of the expensive duds who also play in his spot) and Osborn finally did appear, if only to do his Tasmanian Devil skit.

And then we finally changed shape, ditched Bryan, brought on the penile wart that is Lundstram who later on was fried, seasoned, flipped and served on a plater by Eze, who'd been running about for an hour and ten longer than him and nimbly sprinted away to shimmy through our bereft set of failures to cap the win, courtesy of an admittedly unlucky Fleck. That will be the last goal he scores at Bramall Lane.

In all though, today was a demonstration that H does not even know how to break this team out of Wilderball and we are so easy to anticipate, force wide, outnumber, disarm and neutralise. It is 'business as usual'. Turn up. Get beat.

Ramsdale 7.5/10: Great stops first and second half. Absolutely shit distribution.
Baldock 5.5/10: Not a classic Baldock outing. Did better in the second half.
Basham 6/10: Still a minor hero and does (largely) all the right things
Egan 6/10: A busy afternoon sharing the marking of Benteke with Bryan. Again, some timely headers and tackles
Bryan 5/10: Pretty standard game. He is still a bit Championship though, isn't he?
Stevens 5/10: Only just. He's had it at Bramall Lane now. His head is gone and he's just going through the motions
Berge 4/10: I still don't really think this bloke 'gets' the pace and intensity of PL football. Mind you, neither does the rest of the fucking team, to be honest.
Norwood 4/10: Only just. Some decent-ish (but ineffective) passes aside, he was his usual weak, crap self. Their midfield might as well have been playing against me. On my own.
Fleck 5/10: SLightly more John than Jimmy, but still not a fucking sign now of JF of old. He's waiting for his taxi north to the kingdom of kilts and agony bags
McGoldrick 6/10: Still looking like the only player looking ahead a few passes and making the anticipatory moves to endanger. But as he is, he is then targetted by three or four players and closed down
Burke 3/10: Really no idea why I am giving him '3'. 27 minutes before he touched the ball (I think)

Osborn 5/10: If anything, just for 'running about' like he fucking cares that we are the laughing stock of English football, more than the pigs, in fact
Jebbison 6/10: Instantly involved, looking like he has potential and unlucky not to score
Lundstram 2/10: In fact, fuck it. Nowt out of ten. Off you go lad.

Fuck me. I have even played this game on FIFA with all the 'biases' switched off which I put in to make us play like we actually do and got a result on Legendary. That gave me some hope.

Then Eze picks the ball up in the first minute and the reality kicks in. We either hire a manager who has the guts to change things and change for the better or see Sheffield Wednesday ... ? That's us next season if we don't and by then, you never know ... Moore may have had a rearrange of his own and they might even come back up in our place. Think that's not possible? How did you feel just before Wolves's first goal at BDTBL last year? Now transpose that forward to today, where we are and how bad we are playing.

Stranger things happen.

pommpey

Fair enough summary pal disagree with Rammers thought his distribution had improved especially his throw outs

 

[Blade.com]

Burke boils my piss. He moans and groans and thinks he should start and not get subbed - given his chance yesterday and ,yes, made no runs and barely touched the ball. As soon as Jebbison was on he was making himself available something that master coach Feckingbottom has realised this week that is something worth mentioning to Brewster. As for Lundstram only on for 10 min and managed to get called pathetic by the commentator who is likely more objective than we can be. No more goals or points this season, it’s the worst feeling to be actually embarrassed about United. End of season as an apology Players should donate a weeks wages to provide some free away tickets if they had any love for this club.

Love your last sentence. If only.

 

[Hague Blade]

Thanks for highlighting the useless diagonals. We seem unduly excited by the slow, floated pass to the opposite wing back (Norwood and Bryan like it a lot) when all it achieves is giving the oppo time to get back into their defensive shape, and nine times out of ten ends up with the receiver having to go backwards and, as you say, the ball ending up back with Ramsdale. Who hoofs it. Utterly pointless.

One further small distinction - some players are just shit. Burke being the obvious example. Some are, occasionally, or were, decent, but played particularly badly yesterday - Fleck and McGoldrick, take a bow.

 

[pommpey]

Thanks for highlighting the useless diagonals. We seem unduly excited by the slow, floated pass to the opposite wing back (Norwood and Bryan like it a lot) when all it achieves is giving the oppo time to get back into their defensive shape, and nine times out of ten ends up with the receiver having to go backwards and, as you say, the ball ending up back with Ramsdale. Who hoofs it. Utterly pointless.

One further small distinction - some players are just shit. Burke being the obvious example. Some are, occasionally, or were, decent, but played particularly badly yesterday - Fleck and McGoldrick, take a bow.

Glad someone else has noticed it.

Seems that some are still hydraulically locked at the base of their cocks (with veins bulging and a reflection of a nearby window on the old purple shiny German's helmet about Norwood and his 'ping', however.

For me, it is the time to scream at the fucking telly, once again. I've been banging on about it for about a year now.

pommpey

 

[Roygbiv]

I wonder if this is the first time Deadbat has given lower marks than pommpey . Cheers as always anyway

 

[Webding]

Thanks for highlighting the useless diagonals. We seem unduly excited by the slow, floated pass to the opposite wing back (Norwood and Bryan like it a lot) when all it achieves is giving the oppo time to get back into their defensive shape, and nine times out of ten ends up with the receiver having to go backwards and, as you say, the ball ending up back with Ramsdale. Who hoofs it. Utterly pointless.

One further small distinction - some players are just shit. Burke being the obvious example. Some are, occasionally, or were, decent, but played particularly badly yesterday - Fleck and McGoldrick, take a bow.

Yep. We’ve said it a few times on the pod that Norwood always over-elaborates. Floated balls when a flat one would do. Chipped dinks instead of a simple pass on the ground. Twatting across the ball when he could sidefoot it.

He’s got lovely technique (when in form and executing it properly, i.e. not this season), but he needs to know when to use it and when to just keep it simple.

 

[pommpey]

Yep. We’ve said it a few times on the pod that Norwood always over-elaborates. Floated balls when a flat one would do. Chipped dinks instead of a simple pass on the ground. Twatting across the ball when he could sidefoot it.

He’s got lovely technique (when in form and executing it properly, i.e. not this season), but he needs to know when to use it and when to just keep it simple.

But effectiveness isn't about fancy showboating. Look at the 'ball jugglers' on YouTube. Fuck me they are good. Can they play midfield or keep goal? Can they fuck. They are 'ball jugglers'.

See also Norwood. Sure he can clip a ball sixty yards into a bucket. But tactically and strategically, if it leads to fuck all but certain admirers of that schiezen standing up and applauding and ends up back at Ramsdale then what is the point?

pommpey

 

[metalblade]

Not many positives to take from yesterdays shit show other than we only have to suffer 3 more games in the big boys league. Seems to me to be a pointless exercise giving players that have clearly given up any marks, only Ramsdale and young Jebbison deserve any from that showing apart from Berge and McGoldrick the rest of that team can fuck off for me.
The usual rush of blood from Bryan going for a tackle he was never going to get near leaves a huge gap for Palace to run into 0-1. Defenders letting players run through them just dangling a leg out as an apology of a tackle as they go past. A midfield overrun and outclassed with only an unfit Berge showing he can pass to a man on our team. Poor old Didzy running his bollocks off but getting more and more ragged as the game goes on with no help from Usain Burke who may as well not have been there. We looked better when a 17yr old kid came on at least Jebbison run into spaces and puts himself about (take note Brewster everything you should be doing) and had one of our few efforts at goal.
Really depressing to say that kids from the U23's are showing more desire and effort than most of the first team regulars just now.
Really annoying that the clowns in the technical area see fit to bring on Lundsram who's only real contribution was to be shown up on the touchline Jack Hunt style to set into motion the second Palace goal.

 

[Paisley Blade]

Oli the Plumber.

Honestly, Burke looks and plays like some Sunday morning tradesman clogger won a competition to play with the pros.

Was there a 62 plate white vauxhall van in the car park with Burke Plumbing and Heating on the side?

I fully expect to see him back at his natural level the next time I wander round concorde Park

I see him just making the final of the discus at the Commonwealth Games Nova in Nova Scotia or somewhere. And finishing last.

 

[robbiez666]

Thanks for highlighting the useless diagonals. We seem unduly excited by the slow, floated pass to the opposite wing back (Norwood and Bryan like it a lot) when all it achieves is giving the oppo time to get back into their defensive shape, and nine times out of ten ends up with the receiver having to go backwards and, as you say, the ball ending up back with Ramsdale. Who hoofs it. Utterly pointless.

One further small distinction - some players are just shit. Burke being the obvious example. Some are, occasionally, or were, decent, but played particularly badly yesterday - Fleck and McGoldrick, take a bow.

Those diagonals to Baldock work really well but only if they're low or chest height at most. All too often they're looped which gives the defender time to close down the space and makes it really difficult to retain possession. They do get you up the pitch though, even if floated.

My biggest gripe with him is when he does it sideway. He did one yesterday and all Baldock could do was head it on to no one as how can you control a ball over your head?!

 

[vegleeds]

Ended a fantastic day overall with a curry and couple of cans reading pork talk. Life's good

Best part of the season reading the pork talk comments yesterday. The hope they had every time they scored followed by the anguish every time the Rams scored. Just one more goal, just one more goal in the 6 minutes of added time. Surely they could do it? Nope. Seems that the Blades missing out on Waghorn eventually had a very happy ending!

 

[Withington Blade]

Entertaining and mostly spot on. I feel your marks are way too high though.

Norwood was awful but Egan was even more culpable on the goal. His attempt to stop Eze was laughable.

Players ran through him and Basham all game. Thought the latter gave one of his poorest games of the season.

I actually think as bad as Norwood was, he did more things right than Fleck who was even worse. He is completely unfit and its embarrassing watching him try and drag his fat arse up and down.

I love Didzy but he was never in the game really either.

Our players have completely given up. H can say they are trying or giving it their best. They are not. They have mailed it in completely. How else can you explain not running, tackling or even trying to keep the ball longer than a few seconds?

I would not care a jot if most left this summer. The performances and effort this season has deen diabolical. I loved most of these lads but sadly in one year many have shat on their legacy completely in my eyes. Norwood, Fleck, Stevens, Egan are like different footballers.

Bash and Didzy...maybe George are the only three outside Ramsdale that I still have any affection for. Sharp maybe to some degree too.

The rest adding in McBurnie, Burke, Brewster Mousset etc + really can just sod off.

I am a strong advocate for stripping this thing down and starting again. If it means 3 or 4 years in Champ so what? This squad is not getting us back up. If by some miracle it did, then what you have to dump them all anyway as they are almost to a man not Prem League players.

Don’t disagree. One of the main instigators for us getting out of L1 was Wilder’s ability to get rid out the useless deadwood that had been underperforming for years and was clogging up the squad. From memory about 10-15 were moved on that summer which allowed us to bring in the likes of Fleck, JOC, etc.

In an ideal world we would hit the restart button again this summer but I don’t see it happening unfortunately. For one, most worryingly, based on the limited information coming out of the club, Abdullah seems intent on employing a yes-man as head coach or will continue the existing formation with the same group of misfiring players. Secondly, I don’t see an obvious market for the majority of our squad. Most are not good enough for the premier league and their contracts will prevent moves to teams below this level.

Its a huge job for whoever comes in.

 

[sitwell]

Yesterday, he:

• Made more tackles than anyone bar Egan and Baldock.
• Made more interceptions than anyone.
• Made more clearances than anyone.
• Completed more passes than anyone.
• Made more key passes than anyone.
• Put in more successful crosses than anyone.

I’m not going to argue that he was great, because he wasn’t, but there are far poorer performers than Norwood out there.

Dont come on here with actual facts ,the two self proclaimed reporters for S24SU ,write their reports before the games and just add bits in after to make it look authentic ,Berge gets an extra mark for his perfect skin and being european. No mention we should have scored from 2 Norwood corners yesterday ,just shit about hitting the front man ,boring predictable shit comments , looks like Fleck is going to get the same treatment and maybe Egan soon. We need to get back to going to games ,this TV reporting is fucking mind numbing.

 

[The Crab]

I see him just making the final of the discus at the Commonwealth Games Nova in Nova Scotia or somewhere. And finishing last.

Eddie the Eagle-esque. Yeah I can envisage that.

Plucky but useless

 

[djbaldken]

After the abject performance against Spurs I said I wouldn't watch us again this season. Just like I 've said after every match since December.

I did watch the Miller's at Cardiff though. The difference in performance was glaring. Rotherham, like us have been in the bottom three most of the season. Yet they play with passion, grit and determination. They too have been relegated but the difference in team spirit is plainly there to see.

Being a Blade is like being in the mafia, you can try to leave but they always drag you back in.

And so, yes ,I tuned in to watch us v Palace. I thought we couldn't possibly get any worse. How wrong I was. And it took just 57 seconds to prove it.

Whoever we bring in as manager now has a monumental task ahead of him.

If you look at the history of the Blades coming down from the top league we have NEVER bounced straight back. In fact we have usually regressed, a steady decline resulting in falling down the respective leagues where we languish for far too long.I

Sadly and painfully I can only see a repeat of history for us .

If they allow 10 000 in for the Burnley match and they perform as they have done all season the anger from our fans will be justifiably toxic. It could be like the Roman amphitheatre Christians being fed to lions. Although a Sunday school team could put in a better performance than this clueless, inept pathetic shower.

 

[Ralph Blade]

. I was interested to see a bit of Jebbison. Wooooh, do we have another DCL on our hands? Big, strong, looks the part, lively, decent touch, decent positional sense,................... if so, pleeeeeeease do not give him away for a couple of red balloons and a bag of sherbet dips.

At last, a striker who appears to have a football brain. I sincerely hope he gets some more first team game time before the end of this season. Really excited by him. The complete opposite of.......

Eddie the Eagle-esque. Yeah I can envisage that.

Plucky but useless

More like Eddie the Beagle. Far too generous 1/10

Also: Like Palaces kit, nice design for stripes
Sufficiently uninteresting match that I could see how League 2 was going on Soccer Saturday
Before the match, the camera focused in on a big panda atop a roof, not being resident in Sheffield, can anyone enlighten me what that’s about - asking for the wife, genuinely.

 

[sitwell]

At last, a striker who appears to have a football brain. I sincerely hope he gets some more first team game time before the end of this season. Really excited by him. The complete opposite of.......

More like Eddie the Beagle. Far too generous 1/10

Also: Like Palaces kit, nice design for stripes
Sufficiently uninteresting match that I could see how League 2 was going on Soccer Saturday
Before the match, the camera focused in on a big panda atop a roof, not being resident in Sheffield, can anyone enlighten me what that’s about - asking for the wife, genuinely.

It's the new Chinese mini village at St Mary's roundabout, there are 2 pandas, I saw them lowering the 5 ton one on top of the building.

 

[pommpey]

Dont come on here with actual facts ,the two self proclaimed reporters for S24SU ,write their reports before the games and just add bits in after to make it look authentic ,Berge gets an extra mark for his perfect skin and being european. No mention we should have scored from 2 Norwood corners yesterday ,just shit about hitting the front man ,boring predictable shit comments , looks like Fleck is going to get the same treatment and maybe Egan soon. We need to get back to going to games ,this TV reporting is fucking mind numbing.

Well, do yourself a massive favour, and don't read it then. If it's gonna be so much of an ordeal from your tender soul (and fuck me, that HRT isn't working, is it sweetie?) then do as many others do and scroll past. You're making a bigger helmet of yourself by coming on here and pontificating in that 'I'm a S24SU legend I am' way than you are simply ignoring Deadbat and me giving our opinions which clearly give you a sandy old vadge.

I trust that next season when I am cruelly denied my right to offer my opinion (hmmm, I might even subscribe to the TV package ... ) you'll be on here telling us how blummen wonderful the game has been even if we lose and lose badly. In your eyes, no one deserves criticism, not even the eleven or so useless fuckers who have contrived to get us relegated in the most humiliating manner this season with everyone asking what the fuck happened to Sheffield United.

You of course, have ALL the answers.

pommpey

 

[pommpey]

Those diagonals to Baldock work really well but only if they're low or chest height at most. All too often they're looped which gives the defender time to close down the space and makes it really difficult to retain possession. They do get you up the pitch though, even if floated.

My biggest gripe with him is when he does it sideway. He did one yesterday and all Baldock could do was head it on to no one as how can you control a ball over your head?!

They are also better when the strikers are up in support with the midfield in the zone too. Currently Baldock plods a lonely figure up out on the far touchline surrounded by two, maybe three of their players. His only route is backwards, as it was several time yesterday when Bryan and Norwood booted the ball out to him and then smiled to camera six.

pommpey

 

[Espania blade]

Sorry for the delay. Just completed my skit for TheSheffUnitedWay, had my tea (a really great tagliatelle bolognaise and a cool lager, went for a shit (medium soft, good colouration, no blood or worms, decent stools, about three of them) and watched that Kevin Costner film 'Let Him Go' which was dismally predictable and shit, save for a passing performance by Lesley Mandeville and the delectable Diane Lane in full GILF mode.

Shit. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Apart from today's other great news - the utter cunts from S6 failing miserably and tortuously to stay in the Championship and the sacking of the petulant gobshite that is Angela Rayner, apparently we played Crystal Palace today to provide opposition and fixture completion for the Premier League, and welcome three points for the opposition for the twenty-eighth time this season. It's become our duty now to pitch up at games and provide the other team with a team to play against of sorts, if only to give some players an appearance fee and goal bonus. My, how they are gonna miss us soon.

The starting lineup didn't leave much to the imagination as to how the game would start, develop and finish. 'H' (hang on, do AC12 know this?) swapped out the industrious but pointless Osborn for the potential of Berge and to give him some actual game time before we jettison him for an 'undisclosed' fee disappointingly low (but brutally honest) fee.

And hey presto, not even a minute in, Eze is streaking away from Norwood and the rest of midfield toward goal (we've seen this before) to lay it off to the leaden footed Benteke to clip off George Baldock for one-nil, whilst our mercurial number 16 stands like a fucking lamp-post in the penalty area with his hand in the air, hoping the ref, the lino, VAR and the watching public will agree with him that Benteke was offside. Dream on.

We then failed (as we do, always) to make as much of a smear on Crystal Palace's paintwork. It we weren't smacking the ball impressively across the pitch to a solitary, isolated George Baldock on the far flank for him to return it back to Ramsdale via Basham and Egan, we were overpassing, overplaying and simply underperforming right where it mattered. All over the place. Palace just seemed to be taking their time to pick us off and save for a great reaction stop from Ramsdale against Benteke we could have been more goals down. Palace just looked comfortable and at ease with our uselessness. Even Norwood's free kick ended up in the Bramall Lane Lower, and we used to make big about Kozluk crossing it into the kop once. Can anyone tell me what the fuck Oliver Norwood does, apart from fuck things up down there? Can anyone tell me he is now, any better than Michael Doyle or Mark Patterson or Brian Howard, for example? Yet some still suck his dick for what he does and say he'll be good for us next season.

Second half there were marginal improvements, but it's a bit like your first tentative dry fart after a protracted bout of splattering shits. It simply tells you that the worst of it may be over. You still feel rough. And rough is how we were playing. Berge failed to do much but look like he is protecting an injury, Fleck looks like he can't fucking wait to get out, Norwood is hanging onto his sanity (simply knowing his last top flight days are soon over) and the wingbacks just went nowhere special, even when looking like they'd broken through and were able to find a head in the box. Some 17 year old strolled on, looked head and shoulders more capable than the more experienced bloke he'd replaced (and several of the expensive duds who also play in his spot) and Osborn finally did appear, if only to do his Tasmanian Devil skit.

And then we finally changed shape, ditched Bryan, brought on the penile wart that is Lundstram who later on was fried, seasoned, flipped and served on a plater by Eze, who'd been running about for an hour and ten longer than him and nimbly sprinted away to shimmy through our bereft set of failures to cap the win, courtesy of an admittedly unlucky Fleck. That will be the last goal he scores at Bramall Lane.

In all though, today was a demonstration that H does not even know how to break this team out of Wilderball and we are so easy to anticipate, force wide, outnumber, disarm and neutralise. It is 'business as usual'. Turn up. Get beat.

Ramsdale 7.5/10: Great stops first and second half. Absolutely shit distribution.
Baldock 5.5/10: Not a classic Baldock outing. Did better in the second half.
Basham 6/10: Still a minor hero and does (largely) all the right things
Egan 6/10: A busy afternoon sharing the marking of Benteke with Bryan. Again, some timely headers and tackles
Bryan 5/10: Pretty standard game. He is still a bit Championship though, isn't he?
Stevens 5/10: Only just. He's had it at Bramall Lane now. His head is gone and he's just going through the motions
Berge 4/10: I still don't really think this bloke 'gets' the pace and intensity of PL football. Mind you, neither does the rest of the fucking team, to be honest.
Norwood 4/10: Only just. Some decent-ish (but ineffective) passes aside, he was his usual weak, crap self. Their midfield might as well have been playing against me. On my own.
Fleck 5/10: SLightly more John than Jimmy, but still not a fucking sign now of JF of old. He's waiting for his taxi north to the kingdom of kilts and agony bags
McGoldrick 6/10: Still looking like the only player looking ahead a few passes and making the anticipatory moves to endanger. But as he is, he is then targetted by three or four players and closed down
Burke 3/10: Really no idea why I am giving him '3'. 27 minutes before he touched the ball (I think)

Osborn 5/10: If anything, just for 'running about' like he fucking cares that we are the laughing stock of English football, more than the pigs, in fact
Jebbison 6/10: Instantly involved, looking like he has potential and unlucky not to score
Lundstram 2/10: In fact, fuck it. Nowt out of ten. Off you go lad.

Fuck me. I have even played this game on FIFA with all the 'biases' switched off which I put in to make us play like we actually do and got a result on Legendary. That gave me some hope.

Then Eze picks the ball up in the first minute and the reality kicks in. We either hire a manager who has the guts to change things and change for the better or see Sheffield Wednesday ... ? That's us next season if we don't and by then, you never know ... Moore may have had a rearrange of his own and they might even come back up in our place. Think that's not possible? How did you feel just before Wolves's first goal at BDTBL last year? Now transpose that forward to today, where we are and how bad we are playing.

Stranger things happen.

pommpey

My Sunday morning "go to treat"

I still think you are a bit harsh on Ramm'y - If he was to be moved on he would bring in a lot of dosh.

"Then Eze picks the ball up in the first minute and the reality kicks in. We either hire a manager who has the guts to change things and change for the better or see Sheffield Wednesday ... ? That's us next season if we don't and by then, you never know ... Moore may have had a rearrange of his own and they might even come back up in our place. Think that's not possible? How did you feel just before Wolves's first goal at BDTBL last year? Now transpose that forward to today, where we are and how bad we are playing"

This all day long, the next manager has to have "a real steel mentality" managing is not just about tactics and media shit,
it means having to tell someone "you are not good enough and it's time to go" and he will be doing a lot of that!!

UTB

Stranger things happen.

 

[robbiez666]

They are also better when the strikers are up in support with the midfield in the zone too. Currently Baldock plods a lonely figure up out on the far touchline surrounded by two, maybe three of their players. His only route is backwards, as it was several time yesterday when Bryan and Norwood booted the ball out to him and then smiled to camera six.

pommpey

Fleck put one glorious pass on the ground out to Baldock (why I gave him a 3) during a respite from regretting that second Friday night picked egg.

 

[cc1]

No it’s not funny it’s turning to anger with me with Burke even near the starting lineup with Dids who is now showing his years got to be the worst frontmen since Pedro Verde and Barry Butlin

Good stuff , slag didsy as well. Gerremallout.

Its almost like the previous manager was performing near miracles isn't it? As if the squad isnt really capable of sustaining premier league status?

Hopefully you, the majority of posters on this thread and even the ring-piece obsessed narcissist author will stay clear of bdtbl until we can be sat ot the top of the championship again when,presumably, the players will be putting effort in

Fks sake

 

[pommpey]

Good stuff , slag didsy as well. Gerremallout.

Its almost like the previous manager was performing near miracles isn't it? As if the squad isnt really capable of sustaining premier league status?

Hopefully you, the majority of posters on this thread and even the ring-piece obsessed narcissist author will stay clear of bdtbl until we can be sat ot the top of the championship again when,presumably, the players will be putting effort in

Fks sake

So for you, it was a great game yesterday.

And you want everyone who broadly agrees that we are shit to disassociate themselves with Sheffield United, just because you disagree?

And I'm the narcissist.

Love it

pommpey

 

[Lane Ender]

Good stuff , slag didsy as well. Gerremallout.

Its almost like the previous manager was performing near miracles isn't it? As if the squad isnt really capable of sustaining premier league status?

Hopefully you, the majority of posters on this thread and even the ring-piece obsessed narcissist author will stay clear of bdtbl until we can be sat ot the top of the championship again when,presumably, the players will be putting effort in

Fks sake

So you are happy with the way things are then and you think any of the present first eleven are baring Rammers are worth going with good for you they’ve brought disgrace to our club as the previous manager who jumped ship and board who instead of reacting to the Wilder demise appointed a temporary management team who are worse than fucking useless