Match Reports

[stringer]

View attachment 32915

LOCAL SERIAL KILLER "COULD PLAY FOR SHEFFIELD UNITED"


(He may not of course and there's no evidence that he does whatsoever, but we have to print this bit because you know what they're like on S24SU)


Anyway, if he does, look out for a man in a red and white striped shirt ( cont page 1867).


On other pages,

Police mystified by reports of a local serial killer and say they know nothing about it.

Grass verge stolen from outside local mans house - photo.

I think there’s supposed to be something humorous there... no, can’t see it!

 

[Sean Thornton]

I think there’s supposed to be something humorous there... no, can’t see it!

I'd say go with your first thought Danny but then I remembered your photo of Blades fans at the Sty and thought, maybe not...

 

[stringer]

I'd say go with your first thought Danny but then I remembered your photo of Blades fans at the Sty and thought, maybe not...

Right...

 

[I should coco]

Also knows as bloke has a problem and the local newspaper helps sort it. Aka what local newspapers should be built on

Danny I admire your defence of your employer, I really do, but come on!

There is not even the remotest chink of a 'real story' there. If the Star genuinely thinks a 'scoop like that is big help to the local community, then it's even further down the shitter than I feared.

My money is that one of the upset residents is the editor's mother in law and he had to put it in. No other explanation could possibly account for a 'major story' about a few grass clippings.

 

[stringer]

Danny I admire your defence of your employer, I really do, but come on!

There is not even the remotest chink of a 'real story' there. If the Star genuinely thinks a 'scoop like that is big help to the local community, then it's even further down the shitter than I feared.

My money is that one of the upset residents is the editor's mother in law and he had to put it in. No other explanation could possibly account for a 'major story' about a few grass clippings.

Who said it was a major story? It’s part of a section which sees readers complain about things that matter to them and they get fixed. Do you think it was on the front page or something?

 

[Sean Thornton]

Who said it was a major story? It’s part of a section which sees readers complain about things that matter to them and they get fixed. Do you think it was on the front page or something?

Might be leaving yourself a bit wide open there Danny...........

 

[HighfieldBlade]

It's no coincidence that the journo's writeup only appears after Bladesman has posted the highlights on here.

 

[Bladesman]

It's no coincidence that the journo's writeup only appears after Bladesman has posted the highlights on here.

They are waiting for me. Yet I don't get a fucking cut of their fee!!!

 

[stringer]

It's no coincidence that the journo's writeup only appears after Bladesman has posted the highlights on here.

Who’s “the journo” you refer to?

 

[I should coco]

Who said it was a major story?

I did. It's up there with 'man bites dog'.

It’s part of a section which sees readers complain about things that matter to them and they get fixed. Do you think it was on the front page or something?

I don't know or care really. I used to buy the Star when it was a newspaper but when it changed to all the syndicated Johnstone Press celebrity shite, I stopped.

If those 'readers' who were pictured have only a few stray grass clippings to worry about, then bully for the Good Old Star for sorting it out, or at least taking a joke picture. First world problems, eh?

December next month so can we look forward to more pictures of sad families by their trees, pretending their Christmas pressies have been nicked?

 

[Pinchy]

I do have most of them Dkc somewhere on a hard drive or memory stick etc. I had a plan to set up a United blog with various things on it each week, including my match reports and aso putting archived ones on but work/time/family saw I never did it. Maybe I still might one day but was going to be time coonsuming to do.

I might post a retro match report now and again from years gone by. I go back to around 2004ish I think since I started doing them in detail....so any requests?!

Have you got any Hoof? We Hoof.

 

[I should coco]

Have you got any Hoof? We Hoof.

He said he started in 2004 so I would imagine some of the classic Blackwell goal fests will be covered.

He may even have some reports from the even more wonderful Weir era where we aped Barcelona and played our own version of Tikka-Takka in a narrow band 5 yards outside our own box.

 

[Pinchy]

He said he started in 2004 so I would imagine some of the classic Blackwell goal fests will be covered.

He may even have some reports from the even more wonderful Weir era where we aped Barcelona and played our own version of Tikka-Takka in a narrow band 5 yards outside our own box.

David was far smarter than given credit for. He knew you couldn’t change the whole ethos overnight. So he started, like all great tacticians, at the back. He was just about to move the play 5 yards forward when the axe fell. We would have been a replica of Cruyff’s Dutch masters in a few years, had he been given time.

 

[I should coco]

He was just about to move the play 5 yards forward when the axe fell.

Yes and moving it forwards at 5 yards per season we'd just be getting somewhere near their box by now. First goal by 2020, Bob's your uncle and the Champions League push starts full on.

We would have been a replica of Cruyff’s Dutch masters in a few years, had he been given time.

By 'replica' do you mean a non moving model that the word usually implies? If so, I agree with you wholeheartedly as the we looked more like 11 paintings on the walls of a dusty art gallery than a dynamic modern football team.

 

[stringer]

I don’t know or care really

Sounds it.

 

[ucandomagic]

Then the local press who send at least two people up and down the country to every Blades game, get ripped to shreds. Cake and eat it much?

If the Star area there anyway, why can’t they provide the Beeb with their £60 match report - at least the Star can tell the difference between Bash and CCV, even if they can’t tell their knee from their shoulder!

 

[Sean Thornton]

If the Star area there anyway, why can’t they provide the Beeb with their £60 match report - at least the Star can tell the difference between Bash and CCV, even if they can’t tell their knee from their shoulder!

Or the Lane and the Rustbucket!

 

[Eddiecolquhounsleg]

Not had grass problems on my verge for a while.

Is that a a euphemism or is it something to do with why your company is called "Crab" Industries?

 

[stringer]

If the Star area there anyway, why can’t they provide the Beeb with their £60 match report - at least the Star can tell the difference between Bash and CCV, even if they can’t tell their knee from their shoulder!

Anyone else you want us to do their work for them?

 

[ucandomagic]

Anyone else you want us to do their work for them?

I did mean claim the £60 as well.

 

[The Crab]

Is that a a euphemism or is it something to do with why your company is called "Crab" Industries?

A little from column "a" and plenty from column "b"

 

[The Crab]

Anyone else you want us to do their work for them?

Well, you can come and do the last half an hour here and I can fuck off home. I usually miss most of The Chase by the time I get home

 

[stringer]

I did mean claim the £60 as well.

Now we’re talking!

 

[Harrisblade]

Now we’re talking!

That £60 will be in the Cayman Islands tomorrow - you mark my words!
(might as well add tax-dodger to your repertoire of shame Danny! )

 

[The Crab]

That £60 will be in the Cayman Islands tomorrow - you mark my words!
(might as well add tax-dodger to your repertoire of shame Danny! )

Or he could invest it in a growing global Crustacean based business consortium*

*in other words, Big Vern needs some diesel for the Discovery

 

[Sean Thornton]

Anyone else you want us to do their work for them?

Your Subs?