If you were appointed to the club board, what’s the first thing you’d want to do?

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Grappler said:
Book a flight to Silicon Valley, go and see a couple of Billionaires that I know, paint a glowing picture of the club and what a great investment it would be.
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Maybe brush down some of your old MMA skills and try the 'heavy line' on them?

An offer they can't refuse and all that....
 
In no particular order
Sell the ground to myself, then rent it back off myself and charge myself interest
Have my name emblazoned across the seats on every stand
Invent some fake companies to sponsor the stands
Vastly increase match ticket prices
Treat the fans with utter distain
Get a shirt sponsor who's already been wound up .

And then say. Just joking ! Be careful what you wish for
 
Convince the board that as soon as we start copying the Brentford model the better off we will be, forget the short term costs, start now for the future..

It's a blueprint on how to compete as a smaller club... No brainier for me.
 
Have Darren Smith hunted down like a flee ridden fox and confiscate his devices and router.
 
Assign a competent third party to handle transfers and contracts
 
Borrow 70 million quid. Put it into the club so accounts see 70 million was put in.

I don’t know how I’d pay the 70 million quid back so sell the top players and say to the rest of the board we need to sell the club for 200 million so I can make tonnes of money and of course pay back the 70 million I borrowed.

Oh and put a fish tank in the board room.
 

BobblesBlade said:
Borrow 70 million quid. Put it into the club so accounts see 70 million was put in.

I don’t know how I’d pay the 70 million quid back so sell the top players and say to the rest of the board we need to sell the club for 200 million so I can make tonnes of money and of course pay back the 70 million I borrowed.

Oh and put a fish tank in the board room.
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Bollocks. Someone’s worked it out.

(Shoves white cat off lap and sails off in mini submarine, vowing revenge on all financial geniuses)
 
Katzenjammer said:
  • Have my rivals purged

  • Order the summary execution of all football agents

  • Hand sole control over footballing matters to the manager and coaching staff within the constraints of the budget.

  • Have the tongues removed from anybody who mentions the words "director of football".

  • Lock the turnstiles at precisely kick-off time to teach the wankers who roll out of the boozer with two minutes left a lesson.

  • Issue lifetime stadium bans to all those who purport to fuck off on 85 minutes then congregate at the bottom of the Kop like dopey cunts for the remainder of the match.
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Where can I vote for you?
 
Tezza1889 said:
Convince the board that as soon as we start copying the Brentford model the better off we will be, forget the short term costs, start now for the future..

It's a blueprint on how to compete as a smaller club... No brainier for me.
Click to expand...
One of the few sensible answers but we do this on a smaller scale already.
I binge watched the Sheff Utd accounts series (seriously there are 3 of them now on Sheff Utd Way) and one of them points out that the Brentford Model is costing £10m/year. Our model used by all the princes associated football teams (whatever that group is called) has a similar but smaller operation costing about £1m/year.
 
Call a meeting with the guys dealing with transfers in, tell them to sharpen it up and get those deals signed play the top targets off against each other if need be but you're the fucking experts sort it.
Were we being serious or were you looking for a 'close Pandora's Box before hope gets out' type of answer?
 
8lade said:
One of the few sensible answers but we do this on a smaller scale already.
I binge watched the Sheff Utd accounts series (seriously there are 3 of them now on Sheff Utd Way) and one of them points out that the Brentford Model is costing £10m/year. Our model used by all the princes associated football teams (whatever that group is called) has a similar but smaller operation costing about £1m/year.
Click to expand...

Wasn't aware of that I'm a bit lost with numbers being a bit dyslexic so I avoid the technicalities of finance 🤣🤣

Good news though, worked out with anel, more to come hopefully.
 
Tezza1889 said:
Good news though, worked out with anel, more to come hopefully.
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If Anel is the standard great, we just need somebody to force these deals over the line. As fans who've seen the team relegated on a goal difference of 'one' we all know every games is crucial so it's no good the team being good to go by the second game as that extra goal might be scored in the first game.
 
Wapping Blade said:
Take a deep dive into the finances as all activities stem from there.

I assume this information is on hand to the board along with scenario planning.
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I’d be surprised if detailed monthly management accounts aren’t prepared and budgets regularly updated, considering our financial situation.
 

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