Hoofball/Cart-horse XI

[Torrix1889]

Are we close to being able to field Blackwells dream of a starting XI devoid of footballers and full of hoofers devoid of any skill?

We are you know!

Defence – key ability, must be able to hoof the ball as far as humanly possible.

RB – France
CB – Morgan
CB – Davies
LB – Naysmith

Midfield – not really a problem as it is by-passed but again the key ability is to run around like a headless chicken

RM – ???
CM – Monty
CM - Harper
RM - Quinn

Forwards – key ability is to be able to use your elbows instead of any other part of your body.

CF – Cresswell
CF – Henderson (captain cart-horse)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear……………………………………………….

 

[super_pig]

heh.. i notice you have no left sided midfielder.. freudian slip perhaps?

 

[Houso]

Are we close to being able to field Blackwells dream of a starting XI devoid of footballers and full of hoofers devoid of any skill?

We are you know!

Defence – key ability, must be able to hoof the ball as far as humanly possible.

RB – France
CB – Morgan
CB – Davies
LB – Naysmith

Midfield – not really a problem as it is by-passed but again the key ability is to run around like a headless chicken

RM – ???
CM – Monty
CM - Harper
RM - Quinn

Forwards – key ability is to be able to use your elbows instead of any other part of your body.

CF – Cresswell
CF – Henderson (captain cart-horse)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear……………………………………………….

Bold players more than capable in a team that would pass it. Many of the others would be too to be honest. Additionally, it's notable that the vast majority of all the players listed above have played for promoted sides in recent seasons.

It's the manager pure and simple.

 

[boo radley]

Who is smacking your missus in the face?

 

[Darren]

Who is smacking your missus in the face?

I think you are the only person on here whose eyes were focused on the arm in the left of his pic...

 

[Ollessendro]

Are we close to being able to field Blackwells dream of a starting XI devoid of footballers and full of hoofers devoid of any skill?

We are you know!

Defence – key ability, must be able to hoof the ball as far as humanly possible.

RB – France
CB – Morgan
CB – Davies
LB – Naysmith

Midfield – not really a problem as it is by-passed but again the key ability is to run around like a headless chicken

RM – Stewart
CM – Monty
CM - Harper
LM - Quinn

Forwards – key ability is to be able to use your elbows instead of any other part of your body.

CF – Cresswell
CF – Henderson (captain cart-horse)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear……………………………………………….

Ha ha, brilliant. How about left back Jordan Stewart on the RW (oh the irony that KB has actually played him there!?)

 

[Stafford Blade]

How have you drawn the conclusion that France is a hoofer? He has hardly played. When he came on against Donny in midfield he looked today and composed. Also very harsh stating Harper and Monty are long ball players seeing as 90% of the time the ball goes straight over their heads.

Your labelling of Henderson as "captain carthorse" leads me to the conclusion your grasp of the game of football isn't all that clever

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

I think you are the only person on here whose eyes were focused on the arm in the left of his pic...

I actually find that particular picture quite offensive

 

[shorehamview]

I actually find that particular picture quite offensive

Me too.











It should be much bigger, and with at least a partial glimpse of a nipple or two.

 

[Torrix1889]

I actually find that particular picture quite offensive

bummer............

 

[Torrix1889]

How have you drawn the conclusion that France is a hoofer? He has hardly played. When he came on against Donny in midfield he looked today and composed. Also very harsh stating Harper and Monty are long ball players seeing as 90% of the time the ball goes straight over their heads.

Your labelling of Henderson as "captain carthorse" leads me to the conclusion your grasp of the game of football isn't all that clever

I would have given the captain carthorse armband to Monty but compared to Henderson he has a half-decent first touch, the ability to jump higher than 2 inches, is able to challenge for a header without first putting his arm accross the defenders face, has got a decent turn of pace, can occasionally find a team mate with a pass.......etc.........etc........................................................... and that's Monty ffs

 

[Stafford Blade]

I would have given the captain carthorse armband to Monty but compared to Henderson he has a half-decent first touch, the ability to jump higher than 2 inches, is able to challenge for a header without first putting his arm accross the defenders face, has got a decent turn of pace, can occasionally find a team mate with a pass.......etc.........etc........................................................... and that's Monty ffs

So you've decided to slag off 2 of our most consistent performers this season. Bravo to you


Has it escaped your attention Henderson has got 7 league goals so far? Twice as many as our so called "goalscorer" evans

 

[Torrix1889]

No Stafford I'm slagging off the two players that epitomise everything that is wrong about the tactics and football played at BDTBL.

Of course the ultimate blame lies with Blackwell's insistance on playing in a style to suit players of such limited ability.

Henderson may have scored 7 goals, (2 from the spot) and Evans only 3, but just imagine if we played football instead of hoofball and actually played to Evans' strengths?

I can't believe so many people can't see what's happening with Henderson. For every 10 balls aimlessly punted up to him he may win 2 if he's lucky, 5 are cleared straight back to our half putting us under instant pressure and the other 3 end up as free kicks to the opposition again giving away possession.

As for Monty, he's always been crap........

 

[SotonBlade]

Blah, blah...same old arguments, just to create more hostility and annoyance on the board rather thana debate, getting more and more tiresome as the days roll on.

 

[Ollessendro]

So you've decided to slag off 2 of our most consistent performers this season. Bravo to you

Think you are pushing it there a bit Stafford. Henderson has worked hard this season and scored a few crucial goals. I have my issues with him, but can;t knock his performances this season. However Monty has been poor this year. Up to his injury he had not been playing well. On several occassions his un charachteristic mistakes led directly to goals. I like Monty. I like his work ethic and think if playing with a decent central midfielder it could work very well. However he has not played well this season.

 

[Stafford Blade]

No Stafford I'm slagging off the two players that epitomise everything that is wrong about the tactics and football played at BDTBL.

Of course the ultimate blame lies with Blackwell's insistance on playing in a style to suit players of such limited ability.

Henderson may have scored 7 goals, (2 from the spot) and Evans only 3, but just imagine if we played football instead of hoofball and actually played to Evans' strengths?

I can't believe so many people can't see what's happening with Henderson. For every 10 balls aimlessly punted up to him he may win 2 if he's lucky, 5 are cleared straight back to our half putting us under instant pressure and the other 3 end up as free kicks to the opposition again giving away possession.

As for Monty, he's always been crap........

Please enlighten me what Evans strengths are. He wins nothing in the air and whenver the ball comes to him on the floor his 1st touch has been found wanting and it's bounced straight to an opposition player.

So Henderson has scored 2 from the spot. How many did Beattie score from the spot for us? I bet you didn't belittle his goalscoring achievements.

And as for saying Monty is crap, how many appearances has the lad made for this club under various managers? They all seem to think he's good enough to play in our midfield. And I can guarantee they'll all know far more about football than you do.

 

[Houso]

No Stafford I'm slagging off the two players that epitomise everything that is wrong about the tactics and football played at BDTBL.

Of course the ultimate blame lies with Blackwell's insistance on playing in a style to suit players of such limited ability.

Henderson may have scored 7 goals, (2 from the spot) and Evans only 3, but just imagine if we played football instead of hoofball and actually played to Evans' strengths?

I can't believe so many people can't see what's happening with Henderson. For every 10 balls aimlessly punted up to him he may win 2 if he's lucky, 5 are cleared straight back to our half putting us under instant pressure and the other 3 end up as free kicks to the opposition again giving away possession.

As for Monty, he's always been crap........

Ever thought that maybe Henderson is being played in the wrong way? He's excellent at holding up the ball on the floor, but it's far from easy to get it to your feet when it's aimed above your head in the first place.

How has he scored 5 goals from open play if he doesn't do anything apart from win 2 out of 10 balls?

You're worse than Pinchy and Monty.

 

[super_pig]

>How has he scored 5 goals from open play if he doesn't do anything apart from win 2 out of 10 balls
he's obviously had a 'lot' of balls aimed his direction..usually at his head i might add.. i feel sorry for the guy.. some of the ball he gets is absolutely uncontrollable.. killa is no saint .. he is the WORST offender for booting the ball anywhere.

 

[mattbianco1]

Are we close to being able to field Blackwells dream of a starting XI devoid of footballers and full of hoofers devoid of any skill?

We are you know!

Defence – key ability, must be able to hoof the ball as far as humanly possible.

RB – France
CB – Morgan
CB – Davies
LB – Naysmith

Midfield – not really a problem as it is by-passed but again the key ability is to run around like a headless chicken

RM – ???
CM – Monty
CM - Harper
RM - Quinn

Forwards – key ability is to be able to use your elbows instead of any other part of your body.

CF – Cresswell
CF – Henderson (captain cart-horse)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear……………………………………………….

Put Walker at RB and Ward at RM and you have a very good team, capable of winning most teams in our league so why not get behind them and stop moaning!

Are you one of those people that goes to the match with "Monty Glasses" on. The ones that make you see every stray pass but nothing else?

Does your mate sitting next to you wear "Hendo glasses" so he only see's the fouls committed and not the chances created by him?

Then you go to the pub after and the conversation goes...

You.. "Monty was shit, couldn't pass at all!"
Mate... "Yeah agreed, Henderson was shit, gave away loads of fouls."
You "True, true!"
Both of you "Bah Humbug, Blackwell out!"
Mate... "Don't even know why i bought a season ticket!"

 

[Grecian2000]

Are you one of those people that goes to the match with "Monty Glasses" on. The ones that make you see every stray pass but nothing else?

Bugger me. It's my glasses after all. Thank God for that, I thought it was his feet that were the problem.

 

[Torrix1889]

Better than your Pub chat Matt Bianco, (obviously in a Gay Bar)

Matt Bianco - Monty had a super game today
Mate – yes he did, he covered so much ground in midfield
Matt Bianco – you can’t fault his work-rate
Mate - yes, he has such determination, his obvious lack of ability doesn’t matter
Matt Bianco - hmmmm yes, I agree as long as he gives 110% that’s all that matters, and what about Hendo?
Mate – oh yes, Hendo was pure class, without him we would be screwed, I love those long-balls that are played up to him
Matt Bianco – Yes, the way he slaps his arm across the defenders face whilst trying to jump is a great tactic
Mate – it might give away the odd foul but he does win possession occasionally which is good enough for me……

Pause………………….

Matt Bianco – Another Babycham?
Mate – Yes please sweetie xxx

 

[shorehamview]

I've had a look at Monty's stats on the interweb and I can't make head or tail of them. Look here. Christ alone knows what they are on about.

 

[Houso]

Better than your Pub chat Matt Bianco, (obviously in a Gay Bar)

Matt Bianco - Monty had a super game today
Mate – yes he did, he covered so much ground in midfield
Matt Bianco – you can’t fault his work-rate
Mate - yes, he has such determination, his obvious lack of ability doesn’t matter
Matt Bianco - hmmmm yes, I agree as long as he gives 110% that’s all that matters, and what about Hendo?
Mate – oh yes, Hendo was pure class, without him we would be screwed, I love those long-balls that are played up to him
Matt Bianco – Yes, the way he slaps his arm across the defenders face whilst trying to jump is a great tactic
Mate – it might give away the odd foul but he does win possession occasionally which is good enough for me……

Pause………………….

Matt Bianco – Another Babycham?
Mate – Yes please sweetie xxx

Homophobia. Awesome.

 

[Mousey]

Homophobia. Awesome.

He does seem to protest too loudly me thinks. That avatar, the accusations of others. Hmmm

 

[Torrix1889]

All I can see from that Shoreham is that Monty plays with Minors...............


(add Peadophobia to Homophobia Houso................)

 

[Ollessendro]

I've had a look at Monty's stats on the interweb and I can't make head or tail of them. Look here. Christ alone knows what they are on about.

So that's where he's been. He isn't injured, he's just been moonlighting.

 

[shorehamview]

All I can see from that Shoreham is that Monty plays with Minors...............


(add Peadophobia to Homophobia Houso................)

Who he? Username = shorehamview. Abbreviated occasionally to SV.

And from what little made sense, he wasn't playing with minors, it was in minors. Er.....

 

[Torrix1889]

Who he? Username = shorehamview. Abbreviated occasionally to SV.

And from what little made sense, he wasn't playing with minors, it was in minors. Er.....

Apologies SV..................er, better leave the minors comments there.............

 

[mattbianco1]

Better than your Pub chat Matt Bianco, (obviously in a Gay Bar)

Matt Bianco - Monty had a super game today
Mate – yes he did, he covered so much ground in midfield
Matt Bianco – you can’t fault his work-rate
Mate - yes, he has such determination, his obvious lack of ability doesn’t matter
Matt Bianco - hmmmm yes, I agree as long as he gives 110% that’s all that matters, and what about Hendo?
Mate – oh yes, Hendo was pure class, without him we would be screwed, I love those long-balls that are played up to him
Matt Bianco – Yes, the way he slaps his arm across the defenders face whilst trying to jump is a great tactic
Mate – it might give away the odd foul but he does win possession occasionally which is good enough for me……

Pause………………….

Matt Bianco – Another Babycham?
Mate – Yes please sweetie xxx

Torrix, would you mind picking that soap up please?

 

[Foxy]

Think you've made a bit of a mistake not picking Walker and Killa in this list...

Because again, they hit the ball long and aimlessly far more than some you've chosen as being devoid of any skill.