Funniest fan comment you've heard at a game...

[Caveblade]

Four Blades in a Pub, recording whilst Forest were getting torn a new one by Citeh. "That's six, Gargoyle head is getting sacked in the morning'.

Driving on the M62 pissing myself laughing

 

[corner_flag]

There’s a whole thread of them above this tweet…

He's either an idiot or a comic genius!

"they could wrap an elephant in paper but would they use it" - try to unpick that!

 

[Barney Rubble]

‘What’s that C**t doing in here with a Sunderland shirt on’!!
Some pissed up bloke on south stand concourse towards a bloke with a vintage blades strip on.

If that was on Tuesday night then I probablywas 'that C**t'

 

[William Large]

No!

Yep

 

[quinnyblade]

Back in the days when you got a pull out poster in the middle of the programme. The featured player was Wayne Allison. Lad next to me spent a large chunk of the game ranting “who the …would want a picture of him on their chuffing wall?!” — when the chief scored later in the game “Gimme that - it’s going straight on my wall…always loved him!”

 

[Inter_blade83]

Crowd singing Jose Baxter Baby. Goes quiet... my mate shouts "Josef Fritzls baby!" In the same tune. Quite a lot of chuckles for that one.

 

[Solihull Blade]

again not football related but worked with a woman who loved a mixed metaphor. Her particular best ones were.

I can’t see the wood for the pigeons

I’m not hobophobic

I’m keeping my head below the pulpit

It’s all gone a bit Pooh Tong

They left it till the eighteenth hour.

 

[TomHeffernan]

Bloke gets hit by a pie thrown from the back of the Kop. He stands up and says “which Twat’s just thrown this pie”. A big fucker stand up and says “me why?”. “You got any brown sauce pal?”

 

[Foody]

Back in my Student days I moved up to Scotland and hadn't been back in Sheffield for a while. I got the train down and naturally headed straight to the Lane. It was back in the league one days and a night match so the atmosphere was hardly electric, but I did witness this very Sheffield poetry. After another really soft free kick was given against us the kop protested, just as it went quiet a kid of about 8 stood up on his chair and yelled 'Nah den fat cunt, ow bout giving one of dem our way '. His Dad could not have looked any prouder.
Welcome to Sheffield.

 

[Greasy Chap Butty]

Yep

Cutting your coat is funny. Who does that?

 

[Blades Glory Owls Down]

Back when I was a youngster we would stand on the concourse at the back of the Kop. Me, Mum and Dad. There was a bloke who used to stand in the same area at every game. Small man with a highly impressive moustache. he had his lad with him who was a similar age to me and if I'm being kind would describe him as rotund. In all honesty, he was obese.
Every game, this bloke would say to his kid. "Wait here, I'm just going to the toilet" and would disappear.
10 minutes later, he'd be back, wiping his moustache.
His lad, obviously suspicious, would ask if his dad had been for something to eat. To which the reply would invariably be. "No son. queue for the toilets was massive" whilst still wiping his moustache. It was obvious that he'd been for a half time pie.

This one day, he hadnt done a very good job of clearing the evidence from his wonderous tache, with plenty of flakes of pastry still nestled in his whiskers.
His lad looks up at him and asks "Dad, have you been for something to eat without me?"

Quick as a flash, the dad looks down, wipes his tache again and said

"No Son, I'd never do that. Its dandruff" before expertly changing the subject with 'Come on, second half's starting. Dont want to miss it!"

 

[Champagneblade]

The old fella who used to sit next to us on Little John:

"He'll never be a footballer while he's got a hole in his arse! I've been better on. Concord Park."

"Shut up you noisy buggers!" To the Geordie fans moaning when we beat Newcastle 3-0 at home in the Cup. The funny part was the friend of my Dad's that said it was a Geordie too (but a United supporting one).

 

[Fish Head Blade]

This wasn’t a funny line or anything but remember playing Brum mid nineties and Kevin Francis was up front for them at 6-7 he was massive but gangly and not the prettiest bloke you have ever seen, anyway there’s a corner right in front of the blades fans it all goes quiet and some bloke shouts Kevin Francis , he looks dead at this bloke which the said bloke at top of his voice shouts Freeeeeeeeeeeeek , funny thing was he looked absolutely devastated and you could see it truly hurt him especially as everyone else then burst out laughing

 

[FallowfieldBlade]

The swearing section buying kevin pressman a pie when he was GK coach at Scunthorpe has gotta be up there

 

[Whiston Blade]

Fuck off back to Australia on your surfboard. (Carl Veart).

 

[RammyBlade]

Back in the 60's we had a full back called Bernard Shaw who was ok but not the most cultured.
After a few mis timed tackles and poor passes a guy on the Kop shouted " Shaw - come and stand wi 'us"

 

[GrunkyPeep]

I remember when we signed Ahmed Fathi and he the first time he was brought on a sub the fella a few in front of me shouts up "Gu on you fat bastard!"

 

[Chimpan-A]

Back in the 90s, a Wednesday fan mate of mine said the Hillsborough crowd had been singing “Eez a cunt, eez a cunt, the referee’s a cunt” to the tune of the then-popular “Ebeneezer Goode” by the Shamen. Surprised it didn’t catch on.

 

[St Albans Blade]

Love it when people conflate two different expressions. One of my favourites is "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it".

Personal favourite...

"I resemble that remark!"

 

[St Albans Blade]

It’s up there with ‘we need to cut our cloth’

... 'and eat it' (presumably) !?!

 

[reedy63]

Chris Guthrie having a crap game.a big shout from back of the kop.
nah then Guthrie, that fucking rubbish.Tha couldn't t tack a Sunday dinner. everyone was laughing. someone else piped up that a fucking cart horse an all.

 

[Compound_Legend]

Leicester away 2005 - and we're getting gubbed.

One wag notices the lino nearest the Blades is going thin on top. From that moment onwards, he tells his mates that lino is the famous Irish official Al O'Pecia.

 

[Hillsboro Blade]

John Burridge at Oldham 1985, trying to kick up a divot for a goal kick on their artificial pitch…..”It’s a plastic pitch Budgie you thick cunt”.

 

[GrayBlade]

I was talking to King Kev in the old Executive Suite and he said 'There's no bigger Blade than me but what can you do when the big clubs come calling?'

Still creases me up

 

[Billyblade]

This wasn’t a funny line or anything but remember playing Brum mid nineties and Kevin Francis was up front for them at 6-7 he was massive but gangly and not the prettiest bloke you have ever seen, anyway there’s a corner right in front of the blades fans it all goes quiet and some bloke shouts Kevin Francis , he looks dead at this bloke which the said bloke at top of his voice shouts Freeeeeeeeeeeeek , funny thing was he looked absolutely devastated and you could see it truly hurt him especially as everyone else then burst out laughing

Half the stadium shouted that at a young lad starting out with QPR. It destroyed him and he was subbed during the second half.

Yes, it was Peter Crouch

 

[More Bladier than thou]

1 minute after celebrating a goal The fucking retard infront “ why does bbc app say 0-0 and scoreboard says 1-0” .? She then sat there for 5 mins refreshhing the app till it updated, then shrugged her shoulders and put phone away

 

[Flumps]

Many years ago it was a boxing day match, some of me wants to say Reading but can't be certain. Anyway we lost and when the final whistle went and everyone stood up the guy behind me said to no one but himself "well what a fucking shit Christmas"

I still to this day can't figure out why it made me laugh but I still chuckle about it today.

 

[DifferentClass]

Back in the 90s, a Wednesday fan mate of mine said the Hillsborough crowd had been singing “Eez a cunt, eez a cunt, the referee’s a cunt” to the tune of the then-popular “Ebeneezer Goode” by the Shamen. Surprised it didn’t catch on.

Because it's not to the tune of Sloop John B or Achy Breaky Heart!

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

1 minute after celebrating a goal The fucking retard infront “ why does bbc app say 0-0 and scoreboard says 1-0” .? She then sat there for 5 mins refreshhing the app till it updated, then shrugged her shoulders and put phone away

Similarly, I know people who stand in the rain asking why their weather app says "no rain today".

 

[ghandi]

Dion Dublin at the end of his playing career with Leicester (I think) when he was a sub at the Lane whilst warming up someone shouted " Na den Dublin it's abart time tha retired you old bastard", Dion turned round laughing and mouthed "you're right"