Funniest fan comment you've heard at a game...

[Katzenjammer]

Because it's not to the tune of Sloop John B or Achy Breaky Heart!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed how fucking unimaginative the melodies to most songs are these days.

 

[Flippity Gibbert]

First game back after covid against Brum. I went to the toilet in the South stand nearest the kop.
Two lads come in
First lad: It’s great to be back.
Second lad: Yeah, I’ve missed the atmosphere
First lad: it’s everything. The atmosphere, the crowd, the smell. You just drink it in.
Bloke at the urinal: Don’t breathe in too deep, that aromas piss tha’s drinking.

 

[St Albans Blade]

Chris Guthrie having a crap game.a big shout from back of the kop.
nah then Guthrie, that fucking rubbish.Tha couldn't t tack a Sunday dinner. everyone was laughing. someone else piped up that a fucking cart horse an all.

As a nipper the bloke behind me in the Bramall Lane upper stand, after witnessing another spurned opportunity to score a headed goal, simply labelled Chris Guthrie as a 'Dromadery', which drew howls of laughter. I had to look up the word in the dictionary when I got home!

Tad harsh?!?

 

[Everblade]

Stood on John St terracing back in the 80’s at a night game, ball clearly goes off a Blades player right in front of the man with the flag and he gives the throw in to the away side, bloke near us shouts ‘ ….arr could dee see dat from deer linesman ‘

 

[William Large]

Cutting your coat is funny. Who does that?

Sigh….

 

[Dark muffy]

On the Kop, 2002ish, Warnock era and the Desun kit....

Wayne Allison up front, cross comes in, and he completely miscontrols it. Some bloke pipes up:

"Chief, tha's got a touch like a baby lighthouse!".

What sort of touch does a lighthouse have?!
And why a baby one specifically?!

In relation to the chief's baby lighthouse touch I can testify it was not just shite on a professional football pitch. When I was at uni at Manchester Met, the Chief was in the year above doing sport science. We were having a kick about outside the halls of residence and someone leathered it off a tree and it bounced towards the chief who was walking past, he went to control it and it rolled straight under his foot. Nobody gave him any shit (as he was pretty big!) but he had a laugh about it and always seemed a really nice bloke when we saw him around campus. Baby lighthouse is a brilliant description though.

 

[Chezzy Blades]

When I was younger and we sat on John Street there was always a small bald bloke with a moustache who took his young lad. Each time we had a referee who he'd decided was favouring the away team, he'd stand up and start furiously waving a £20 note in the ref's direction bellowing 'As tha been paid off or what ref ya bent get?!'

Amusingly, about 15 years later I took my Grandmother to see a Blades game, her first since the Sixties, going back on John Street for the first time since I was young. The bloke himself wasn't there, but someone else (who I've always hoped was his son from years before) was doing exactly the same thing with a tenner!

 

[Webding]

When I was younger and we sat on John Street there was always a small bald bloke with a moustache who took his young lad. Each time we had a referee who he'd decided was favouring the away team, he'd stand up and start furiously waving a £20 note in the ref's direction bellowing 'As tha been paid off or what ref ya bent get?!'

Amusingly, about 15 years later I took my Grandmother to see a Blades game, her first since the Sixties, going back on John Street for the first time since I was young. The bloke himself wasn't there, but someone else (who I've always hoped was his son from years before) was doing exactly the same thing with a tenner!

Negative inflation on John Street, or the cost of living crisis making refs likely to sell out for less?

 

[lakedistblade]

Just before Christmas on the kop 1970,s Keith Eddy makes a mistake and opposition score. Near silence and Man shouts ‘well Eddy tha makes a reet grand faatha Christmas‘ With my dear late father who just about pissed himself laughing

 

[ThatJa]

Under Adkins, when we had Sammon and Campbell-Ryce. Ryce crosses to Sammon who missed a shot that was easier to score.

Bloke behind me: "Tbf I wouldn't have put Sammon and Rice together either, horrible combination, get some proper food"

 

[Richeee]

Going through the turnstiles at villa park for villa v Bradford city some years ago the police were asking fans which team they supported with a view to segregation I overheard when questioned by the boys in blue the answer ' Stenhousmuir 'in a strong Scottish accent. The police were not amused......we were

 

[torridon]

Half the stadium shouted that at a young lad starting out with QPR. It destroyed him and he was subbed during the second half.

Yes, it was Peter Crouch

Remember that, we were relentless

 

[DifferentClass]

Someone (okay, it was me) shouted "DO BEAT THE CLOCK" at Jos Luhukay when he was managing the pigs.

 

[torridon]

Remember many years ago being stood on the kop when we were playing somebody long forgotten in midweek, we were due to play QPR away the following Saturday in the days when they had an artificial pitch, the bloke stood just in front of me was complaining all night that it was wrong that we had to play on their anti-turf as it gave them the advantage. Still see the chap at Lane now, always brings a smile thinking back.

 

[Bugboyblade]

I can remember someone shouting to Micky Adams “cheers Micky for making us reight good at being crap”

 

[Davalon]

Queuing at the turnstiles at MK in League 1, I saw a steward alert a copper to the drunken state of a fellow Blade ahead of me in the queue.

This middle aged fella was clearly the worse for wear and swaying a bit.

Copper wanders over and asks him to step out of the queue.

'Why?' slurs this bloke.
'Because sir, you're clearly heavily intoxicated'

'You have to be to watch these cunts'

 

[Pottedmeattoes]

A few years back pre season game at belle view Donny,new signing Mike Newell collects ball from blades end,someone shouted Newell thas a hassbeen,next blade shouts Newell thas a never been,smiling Newell was stuned by a final Newell thas a Les been.

 

[oxonblade]

A few years back pre season game at belle view Donny,new signing Mike Newell collects ball from blades end,someone shouted Newell thas a hassbeen,next blade shouts Newell thas a never been,smiling Newell was stuned by a final Newell thas a Les been.

 

[The Crab]

Similarly, I know people who stand in the rain asking why their weather app says "no rain today".

A mate of mine went from technophobe to embracing things rather too much.

One day in Hornsea, it began to rain biblically. He opens his weather app and says with some consternation "it's meant to be dry here"

Well it fucking wasn't was it....

 

[Upton_Blade]

Not Blades but just heard Spuds fans singing "that's how your cat feels" to Zouma after he got clattered

I still chuckle at West Ham going crying to the ref the week after the incident happened as Chris Wood kept meowing every time he went near Zouma

 

[COME BACK CHED]

He`s got a pineapple on his head , always gets me .

 

[Ace of Blades]

Back in the 70s, cant remember who we were playing. Eddie Colquhoun goes in for a tackle and badly injures himself and has to be stretchered off. Stood with my dad adjacent to the players entrance on John Street and as he is being carried down the tunnel in obvious pain this voice pipes up, " Das plenty of guts Colquhoun, but das no fuckin skill"

 

[PokerBlade]

Two old blokes behind me discussing whether Jay McEveley was out of position or shite:

Older old bloke: Well when we signed him he was a half-back
Less old old bloke: They haven't had half-backs since I hung me boots up.

 

[Groucho Blade]

I lived in London about a hundred years ago and my flat mate was a Fulham fan. They were pretty dire at the time and had a chairman (Alan Dicks) who wasn’t investing in the team and so was leading them into a serious decline.

The fans were really brassed off with the state of the club.

Anyway, one particular home game I went to (v Wrexham) Fulham were awful and they went a goal down. The fans had had enough and the cry rang around the ground

Dicks out, Dicks out, Dicks out!

Well, it made me and the coach-load of Wrexham fans at the opposite end of the ground laugh like drains

 

[Barney]

This from 1973Blade made me laugh

https://www.s24su.com/forum/threads/nicknames-for-fans-you-do-not-know.49971/page-16#post-3784151

 

[Richeee]

I was at a non league game back in 1980 when European cup winner with man utd Alex Stepney was in goal for visitors altrincham and a local wag was giving him some stick which culminated in a loud shout just as Stepney was taking a goal kick along the lines of " about time you retired and paid to get into matches like the rest of us you old bastard"

 

[Aimer dee]

Not at BDTBL unfortunately, but I was at Pride park to see a pre-season friendly between Derby and Barcelona, sometime in the very early 2000's. (Comp tickets from work). Barca were up 0–3 and cruising. Derby brought Daryl Powel on to much fanfare from the Derby fans. Less than a minute later he proper clattered Patrick Kluivert from behind, to an immediate chant of "Daryl Powel's a football genius". Still giggle about that from time to time.

 

[Hartley Hare]

I recall during the QPR F A Cup third round game at Loftus Road, January 2015. A memorable and very enjoyable away day.

I was behind the goal. We won a corner and the players began to take up positions. Rio Ferdinand appeared and the fella in front of me shouted - "Ferdinand you old horse face."

Ferdinand was not far away and clearly heard the taunt. His initial scowl turned into a rye smile, as most of the other players around sniggered and tried not to laugh.

Most amusing.

HH

 

[MJM]

Anecdotal, but I heard a story about a mate of ours when they went to York away one pre season.

We were lining up to take a corner and our fans were all stationed behind the goal. Lyle Taylor was in the middle of the box with one particular defender backed right up against him...

"TICKLE HIS BALLS, LYLE"

 

[Richeee]

Was in the clubshop at BDTBL queueing to get out behind an elderly lady who was buying a first team shirt for her grandson? and was asking a huge list of questions about it, " how do I wash it, will it shrink, will the badge come off, can I sew it back on or is it a special iron on one etc etc. It was nearing kick off time and people behind we're getting fractious when someone boomed up with " why don't you ask if they do them in blue and white and be done with it?"