Funniest fan comment you've heard at a game...

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Anyone remember a young lad called Izale Mcleod who played with us on loan from Derby for a brief period at the start of his footballing career?

No, I wouldn't either, except for one particular match...

He was having a tough time of it, being closely marked and outmuscled by the opposition's defenders. Too closely, in the opinion of the bloke in front of me who stood up and shouted:

"HEY! YOU! GET OFF OF MCLEOD!"
 

In a match against Coventry (I think), Steve Ogrizovic easily collected a cross to which an incredulous supporter claimed "When he puts his arms in the air, he's 11 foot tall!" - this had me imagining Oggie with 5 foot long arms and I pissed myself laughing.

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My mate commenting on Mark Patterson and his style of running : "He looks like the Honey Monster"
 
About 15 years ago I sat near the dugouts but closer to the opposition’s bench. Every home game the same guy would berate their opposition team, would always get a laugh or two.

The one that sticks with me is him shouting at the assistant manager, something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe you’re so thick you ironed your shirt while you was wearing it because you were in a rush’

Pretty poor conext but I’d of only been 13/14 at the time but I remember even the guy’s in the dug out pissing themselves.
 
John st West terrace, second season up under Bassett and a dreadful game, west ham in the league cup i think. very quiet and two blokes having an in depth carnal conversation. The twist being, blade 1 is shagging blade 2's sister. Well blade 1 is going into the most intimate and sordid detail, but blade 2 is just not nodding, asking the odd related question, ''nice tits?'', ''give head'', etc. etc.

What made me and my dad laugh, wasn't so much the conversation and weird dynamic but more the fact that the entire west terrace were listening, you could have heard a pin drop. No one - it was a crap game after all - was concentrating on the match, just this x rated alan bennetesque dialogue. Happy days.
 
At Chesterfield in 1980 for a Cup replay, we were having one of those awful nights that we always seemed to have against Chesterfield getting no help from the officials and one linesman in particular. Late in the game the linesman flags for a foul as Chesterfield attacked and being one nil up their right winger rolls about and the trainer comes on. One guy near us makes his way to the front of the terrace and shouts “Linesman”, the Lino clearly hears him but faces the pitch.

Louder still “Linesman!”, no reaction so a third time “Linesman!!”.

Still no reaction so the guy bellows “LINESMAN!!!”.

This time the Lino slowly turns his head as far as he dare so he can just see the guy shouting at him, at the same volume he screams “SUCK MY ROOT!!!”.

That was it, nothing else. It still makes me laugh out loud to this day.
 
Norwich a good few years ago 2 very drunk blades one was being a bit of a nuisance and an elderly copper asked him three times to sit down
if I've got to tell you again you will be escorted out,
Minutes well before half time same cop right son your out and started to take him away with that blade No 2 pipes your not taking him without me
That was that neither saw the match
 
Attending a league game several years ago I was in the same part of the ground as this serial moaner. Honestly he never stopped moaning from before the kick off and throughout the game, he would go on about absolutely anything and anyone. Eventually a man in front of him had had enough and turned round to give him an earful but noticing women and young kids nearby he dialled it back a bit and said " look mate why do you bother coming to games if all you do is moan why don't you stay at home and play with your boats in the bath". That shut him up for a few minutes until off he went again but this time fans nearby shouted" ahoy there". He shut up eventually and must have spent future Saturdays playing with his boats as I never saw him again...
 
AgaMonkey said:
I lived in London about a hundred years ago and my flat mate was a Fulham fan. They were pretty dire at the time and had a chairman (Alan Dicks) who wasn’t investing in the team and so was leading them into a serious decline.

The fans were really brassed off with the state of the club.

Anyway, one particular home game I went to (v Wrexham) Fulham were awful and they went a goal down. The fans had had enough and the cry rang around the ground

Dicks out, Dicks out, Dicks out!

Well, it made me and the coach-load of Wrexham fans at the opposite end of the ground laugh like drains
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Leyton Orient had Dean Cox playing for them a few years back. Good little player he was/is n all. And by little, he was about 5 foot 4.

Anyhow, Orient fans sang "we've got tiny Cox tiny Cox, we've got tiny Cox"
 
Sat high up on south stand during Warnock’s early days. Old boy a few rows back bellows “gerrit on t’ floor! You’ll give yersen neck ache! I’ve got neck ache and im sat up here!”
 
Fish Head Blade said:
This wasn’t a funny line or anything but remember playing Brum mid nineties and Kevin Francis was up front for them at 6-7 he was massive but gangly and not the prettiest bloke you have ever seen, anyway there’s a corner right in front of the blades fans it all goes quiet and some bloke shouts Kevin Francis , he looks dead at this bloke which the said bloke at top of his voice shouts Freeeeeeeeeeeeek , funny thing was he looked absolutely devastated and you could see it truly hurt him especially as everyone else then burst out laughing
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Pathetic.
 
Richeee said:
Attending a league game several years ago I was in the same part of the ground as this serial moaner. Honestly he never stopped moaning from before the kick off and throughout the game, he would go on about absolutely anything and anyone. Eventually a man in front of him had had enough and turned round to give him an earful but noticing women and young kids nearby he dialled it back a bit and said " look mate why do you bother coming to games if all you do is moan why don't you stay at home and play with your boats in the bath". That shut him up for a few minutes until off he went again but this time fans nearby shouted" ahoy there". He shut up eventually and must have spent future Saturdays playing with his boats as I never saw him again...
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Deadbat has moved seats a few times in the last few years…
 
Bradford away during our doldrum years in League One.

Overweight steward sat at the front minding his own business
It’s pre-kick off and quite quiet.
Mid-teens lad shout.
“Oi, tha Sweaty Cunt”

Always will bring a smile.
 

Richeee said:
Attending a league game several years ago I was in the same part of the ground as this serial moaner. Honestly he never stopped moaning from before the kick off and throughout the game, he would go on about absolutely anything and anyone. Eventually a man in front of him had had enough and turned round to give him an earful but noticing women and young kids nearby he dialled it back a bit and said " look mate why do you bother coming to games if all you do is moan why don't you stay at home and play with your boats in the bath". That shut him up for a few minutes until off he went again but this time fans nearby shouted" ahoy there". He shut up eventually and must have spent future Saturdays playing with his boats as I never saw him again...
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I think he moved to sit behind me in the South stand
 
I find the YouTube text funny

I was watching a replay of the goals from QPR last season on my phone, I was watching in silence because our lass was watching Corrie

When United equalised the text said "It's Bat Man again, Element and Giant"
 
JJBlade said:
I find the YouTube text funny

I was watching a replay of the goals from QPR last season on my phone, I was watching in silence because our lass was watching Corrie

When United equalised the text said "It's Bat Man again, Element and Giant"
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We've had some very interesting spellings of player's names on here but that is just fantastic!
 
Not something I heard this one but rather something I saw.

Yeovil away in 2012/13, we won thanks to a Neill Collins front post header from a corner. It was early on in Wilson's second season and optimism was high. There were fairly boisterous celebrations but one lad (who I'd add looked very unassuming) took it a bit too far and ran on the pitch. He managed to get off again and spent the next 3 or 4 minutes ducking and diving on the terrace trying to avoid the stewards.

Eventually they tracked him down and ejected him much to the displeasure of the travelling Blades. I was right at the back and with it being open air could see over the back of the stand, where by this point he'd been handed over to the police (not sure why) and was remonstrating with them on the grass behind the away end.

Next moment he lamped one of the officers and before they could react started to race off over the field towards Yeovil town centre back by the loud cheers of the Blades who were at the back of the stand.

Perhaps not as amusing written down and certainly not for the policeman but my Dad and I still laugh at the sight of the shocked officers pursuing what we thought was a fairly down to earth bloke into the distance over the fields of Somerset and still wonder whether they ever managed to catch up with him.
 
RedandWhite said:
Some old man years back stood up at 18mins on the clock, shouted "This is fucking tripe blackwell!" put his hat on and left
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When I was at school a Wednesday fan told me that when the stadium announcer was reading team news out before a game he said 'number 3, Danny Maddix' (or whatever number he was). Bloke in front tutted, chucked on his cap and left!

Always makes me laugh that story.
 
Chezzy Blades said:
When I was younger and we sat on John Street there was always a small bald bloke with a moustache who took his young lad. Each time we had a referee who he'd decided was favouring the away team, he'd stand up and start furiously waving a £20 note in the ref's direction bellowing 'As tha been paid off or what ref ya bent get?!'

Amusingly, about 15 years later I took my Grandmother to see a Blades game, her first since the Sixties, going back on John Street for the first time since I was young. The bloke himself wasn't there, but someone else (who I've always hoped was his son from years before) was doing exactly the same thing with a tenner!
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Ah thats inflation for you!
 
Stoke away promotion season. Fleck comes to take a corner just in front of us a guy about 80 years old whips out of his pocket a harribo ring and shouts John Fleck marry me😂 the smile on Flecks face was priceless
 
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