Funniest fan comment you've heard at a game...

[Ainsley Harriott]

Not one of mine but heard it before.

Playing Newcastle at home. They had that Enrique playing. Some bloke, when it was quiet, shouted 'Enrique!! Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?'

I always find it funny just imagining it.

 

[1973_Blade]

Many years ago, stood on John St, the ref was close to us and one of the regulars shouted ‘Ref, did you ever find out who your father was?’

The ref heard, turned and waved - classic.

 

[Cheets]

We played Leeds in Howard Wilkinson's era. Lee Chapman came up for a corner in front of the Kop. It was not long after he'd had a short stint at French club Chamois Niortais. Some bloke with a loud booming voice shouted "WHY DONT YOU REQUEST THEY PLAY A RECORD FOR YOU, CHAPMAN? HOW ABOUT 'LOST IN FRANCE'?"

 

[Bladesman98]

Can’t remember which match but last season on Kop some bloke come out with ‘how’ve you seen that are you a fuckin wizard’ to linesman after a shite decision.

 

[Boxadan]

A couple spring to mind. First was at some uninspiring away ground during the league 1 days and the ref seemed to be giving them everything. Bloke behind us shouted “that’s never a foul ref, I’ve hit my wife harder than that” (always presumed/hoped he was joking)

Another was Crystal Palace away and a couple lads in front of us spent the whole 90 minutes telling the linesman to get his nob out. “Lino, cock out now!” Of all the things you experience as a football official I imagine that’s quite unique.

 

[William Large]

Love it when people conflate two different expressions. One of my favourites is "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it".

It’s up there with ‘we need to cut our cloth’

 

[DifferentClass]

Not Blades but just heard Spuds fans singing "that's how your cat feels" to Zouma after he got clattered

 

[William Large]

When we played the Pork at the lane (I think it was the Michael brown 3-1 game)

A wag from the Kop shouted to Leon Knight who was close enough to hear him…
.
‘Leon….Leon’ Leon looked towards the voice who then boomed out ‘my cock’s bigger than thee’

 

[breeny]

It’s Saturday 21st October, 2006. It’s halftime at Goodison Park. Claude Davis has been sent off, for being a gormless twat. We are playing the very worst version of Warnock hoofball. We are losing 2-0.

It’s clear to everyone that the game is already up, and everyone in the away end is seriously pissed off. No-one around us is looking forward to the second half.

It’s the very first away game the BadBuy juniors (aged 8 and 6) have ever been dragged to attended. We are on the back row of the lower tier, from where you can see fuck all anyway.

A kindly elderly chap ruffles a BadBuy Jr’s hair, and says “That’s a few new words they’ve learned, then”.

I remember singing all the way through the game though…on that lower wooden tier.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

I remember singing all the way through the game though…on that lower wooden tier.

… with the wooden benches, and wooden floor, and wooden steps bending and flexing and (forgive me) ‘bouncing’ beneath us.

I remember coming away from that game thinking of Bradford, and wondering ‘How the fuck do Everton get insurance and a safety certificate for that?”

 

[breeny]

… with the wooden benches, and wooden floor, and wooden steps bending and flexing and (forgive me) ‘bouncing’ beneath us.

I remember coming away from that game thinking of Bradford, and wondering ‘How the fuck do Everton get insurance and a safety certificate for that?”

Yeah, me too…was really claustrophobic too with the ceiling not far above your head.

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

A couple spring to mind. First was at some uninspiring away ground during the league 1 days and the ref seemed to be giving them everything. Bloke behind us shouted “that’s never a foul ref, I’ve hit my wife harder than that” (always presumed/hoped he was joking)

There's every chance that might have been me. I often shout that (and yes, jokingly)

 

[dublin 10 blade]

Standing on the kop with a few mates ,
After seeing another forgettable performance and Blades defeat
Bloke shouts out
United ,
United
about as much good as a left handed fucking wank

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Yeah, me too…was really claustrophobic too with the ceiling not far above your head.

Yep. Horrible. Proper postbox view.

Every time the ball went up in the air—which was most of the time, when we had a kick —the bloody thing vanished from view and you had to guess where it was and where it might land.

Goodison is one of my favourite old grounds. But that was a properly rubbish afternoon.

 

[Webding]

Love it when people conflate two different expressions. One of my favourites is "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it".

There’s a whole thread of them above this tweet…

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

Standing on the kop with a few mates ,
After seeing another forgettable performance and Blades defeat
Bloke shouts out
United ,
United
about as much good as a left handed fucking wank

I'm left handed.

 

[dublin 10 blade]

I'm left handed.

Say no more

 

[Hull Blade]

Bloke in the lower kop during the infamous Scunthorpe game got hit a glancing blow on the bonce by a bottle. He stood up, turned around and shouted. "Throw another one I'm still conscious."

 

[Greasy Chap Butty]

I'm left handed.

That's a kind offer

 

[Greasy Chap Butty]

It’s up there with ‘we need to cut our cloth’

That's the right phrase. Cut our cloth accordingly, normally shortened.

 

[Harry's Game]

Love it when people conflate two different expressions. One of my favourites is "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it".

My favourite ever mixed metaphor was Cricketer Viv Richards being asked after his team had lost a close game whether he regretted not making the changes that nearly won the game earlier “Yeah I think we shot the horse after it had bolted From the stable“

 

[Bladesman]

There’s a whole thread of them above this tweet…

Some of those are great.

"Crack two birds with one egg"

"They could wrap an elephant up in paper but... will they use it?"

 

[William Large]

That's the right phrase. Cut our cloth accordingly, normally shortened.

Not cut our coat according to our cloth?

 

[bladesmanluke]

The other day when "We love you anal, we do" had finished echoing around, a bloke shouted "Now it's a party!" That had me cracking up

 

[Stanthemanfan]

Just now!
Man u fans, "Your wife is a slag, your wife is a slaaag, Jamie Vardy, Your wife is a slag!"

 

[Greasy Chap Butty]

Not cut our coat according to our cloth?

No!

 

[DifferentClass]

Just now!
Man u fans, "Your wife is a slag, your wife is a slaaag, Jamie Vardy, Your wife is a slag!"

Manure fans at newly-married Jamie Redknapp in the 90s: "Does she take it up the arse?"

He winked...

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

Manure fans at newly-married Jamie Redknapp in the 90s: "Does she take it up the arse?"

He winked...

I remember that Balls of Steel programme doing a skit at half time of our game against Barnsley. Some bird (treat she was n all - forget her name now but she was bunny boiler on the show) chatting this guy up who was with his Mrs. She walked on pitch and proposed. A large section of the crowd asked whether she was into the back door action.

 

[Eza Blade]

In front of me on Kop an oldish bloke and lad was having a shouting match about Norwood.

“You don’t know shit, you’ve talked crap all game you’d not know a decent footballer if yer saw one yer cunt”

“Alright Dad, calm the fuck down”

Oli Norwood divides families like his ping divides defence ……or the half way line and corner flag mostly

 

[El Volví]

Manure fans at newly-married Jamie Redknapp in the 90s: "Does she take it up the arse?"

He winked...

Beckham did a similar response to fans chanting the same thing about posh spice.