snootyfenooty
Growing old disgracefully
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2016
- Messages
- 6,831
- Reaction score
- 9,611
- Banned
- #1
Having reviewed all the recent posts on Neil Warnock, it's pretty obvious that we have a wide split amongst our fan base. To resolve this and return to the harmonious consensus that has always been a feature of S24SU, I feel the only solution is to...........write him a letter. Here goes:
Dear Neil,
You may or not be aware that your recent antics in getting Cardiff promoted have resulted in a commonly known psychological condition known as "meltdown" on S24SU. Blood pressure readings have reached a very unhealthy level amongst some of our fans and reports of people foaming at the mouth have led to DEFRA roaming the streets with anti-rabies innoculations. Now this state of affairs is avoidable and the part you can play in future is as follows:
Firstly, lets deal with goal celebrations. The way you celebrated at the Lane recently you would have thought that you had scored a last gasp equaliser in a promotion defining game after being under the cosh for 90 minutes.or something. And then you had the temerity to go and applaud your fans who had made a 300 mile round trip on a goddam awful night. All this without considering the sensitivity of your adoring ex-fans who fondly refer to you as "a cunt". Next time, just control yourself. You could always shake hands with the fourth official or send a message on your group chat to your best mates Stan, Wally and Gary.
Secondly, "the best set of lads". Now we know that you need to show faith in your players but it's obvious that none of them could surpass the world-beaters at SUFC. We have football forum members who are both football and linguistic experts and will easily articulate how Sol Bamba couldn't possibly have been better than Claude Davies. They will then spend hours boring us to fucking death on football forums.
There is also the added matter of you failing to improve our team in the JTW when our board, in a fit of generosity, gave you £3m to spend to ensure our premiership survival. If you had shown any ambition, with the funds available, you should have gone for Christiano Ronaldo instead of Luton Shelton if you was, as quoted "planning for the future". This would have cemented our claim to our team being "the best set of lads" and your recent assertions about Cardiff would have sounded even more ludicrous.
So in future to appease our fans, could you simply refer to them as a "good set of lads" or even a "great set of lads" but never "the best set of lads" unless you are referring to your lads at SUFC.
Thirdly, and this is probably the most important, "the best fans". Now we appreciate that at your age you may have difficulty remembering us after 11 years and your involvement with about 200 other clubs, but when you called Cardiff City "the best fans" it was hard to take. I can remember on cold February nights, along with thousands of others chanting your name. "Warnock Out" still reverberates around my head on sleepless nights. In view of the number of clubs you have been associated with, we suggest that you compose a league table. You could then refer to Cardiff as "the second best set of fans" or Plymouth as the "eighth best set of fans". Obviously the best ever can only be reserved for us because if you don't I'm sure that you, like me, doesn't like to see grown men cry.
Yours faithfully etc etc.
To give this letter added weight I'm planning on roping in Foxy , that is when he's finished with the "other" one. (What's taking you so long by the way?, everyone would think you have a full time job, a family to look after, a household to run and a forum to manage).
Of course, this would never succeed without the support of forum members......
Dear Neil,
You may or not be aware that your recent antics in getting Cardiff promoted have resulted in a commonly known psychological condition known as "meltdown" on S24SU. Blood pressure readings have reached a very unhealthy level amongst some of our fans and reports of people foaming at the mouth have led to DEFRA roaming the streets with anti-rabies innoculations. Now this state of affairs is avoidable and the part you can play in future is as follows:
Firstly, lets deal with goal celebrations. The way you celebrated at the Lane recently you would have thought that you had scored a last gasp equaliser in a promotion defining game after being under the cosh for 90 minutes.or something. And then you had the temerity to go and applaud your fans who had made a 300 mile round trip on a goddam awful night. All this without considering the sensitivity of your adoring ex-fans who fondly refer to you as "a cunt". Next time, just control yourself. You could always shake hands with the fourth official or send a message on your group chat to your best mates Stan, Wally and Gary.
Secondly, "the best set of lads". Now we know that you need to show faith in your players but it's obvious that none of them could surpass the world-beaters at SUFC. We have football forum members who are both football and linguistic experts and will easily articulate how Sol Bamba couldn't possibly have been better than Claude Davies. They will then spend hours boring us to fucking death on football forums.
There is also the added matter of you failing to improve our team in the JTW when our board, in a fit of generosity, gave you £3m to spend to ensure our premiership survival. If you had shown any ambition, with the funds available, you should have gone for Christiano Ronaldo instead of Luton Shelton if you was, as quoted "planning for the future". This would have cemented our claim to our team being "the best set of lads" and your recent assertions about Cardiff would have sounded even more ludicrous.
So in future to appease our fans, could you simply refer to them as a "good set of lads" or even a "great set of lads" but never "the best set of lads" unless you are referring to your lads at SUFC.
Thirdly, and this is probably the most important, "the best fans". Now we appreciate that at your age you may have difficulty remembering us after 11 years and your involvement with about 200 other clubs, but when you called Cardiff City "the best fans" it was hard to take. I can remember on cold February nights, along with thousands of others chanting your name. "Warnock Out" still reverberates around my head on sleepless nights. In view of the number of clubs you have been associated with, we suggest that you compose a league table. You could then refer to Cardiff as "the second best set of fans" or Plymouth as the "eighth best set of fans". Obviously the best ever can only be reserved for us because if you don't I'm sure that you, like me, doesn't like to see grown men cry.
Yours faithfully etc etc.
To give this letter added weight I'm planning on roping in Foxy , that is when he's finished with the "other" one. (What's taking you so long by the way?, everyone would think you have a full time job, a family to look after, a household to run and a forum to manage).
Of course, this would never succeed without the support of forum members......
