An Apology to all those on the Kop next season

[cahill]

I have just renewed my season ticket for next season, and for the first time decided not to pay extra for a card, but have gone digital. My IT skills are almost zero, and the passing years are making them worse. I will be 79 by the start of the season, and I thought it only fair to warn you that if you see an old guy, tall, with plenty of hair for his age, standing near a turnstile looking very puzzled, go at once to a different turnstile and get in the ground while you can. There will soon be a long queue behind me as I try every way I can think of to make my phone and the turnstile communicate with each other, and then, given my usual dealings with machines, the turnstile will stop working. Before long the whole system will have crashed, and nobody will be able to get in. This will all be because I decided to save £15, and spare myself the embarrassment of a recent match where I went to my pocket to get my season card, and found my bus pass instead To be fair to the ticket office staff, they solved the problem quickly, with no extra charge, and without humiliating me. So, my advice for August: get to the Kop early, and my apologies in advance to those queuing behind me. Your patience will be appreciated.

Stop stealing my thunder !

 

[djbaldken]

I have just renewed my season ticket for next season, and for the first time decided not to pay extra for a card, but have gone digital. My IT skills are almost zero, and the passing years are making them worse. I will be 79 by the start of the season, and I thought it only fair to warn you that if you see an old guy, tall, with plenty of hair for his age, standing near a turnstile looking very puzzled, go at once to a different turnstile and get in the ground while you can. There will soon be a long queue behind me as I try every way I can think of to make my phone and the turnstile communicate with each other, and then, given my usual dealings with machines, the turnstile will stop working. Before long the whole system will have crashed, and nobody will be able to get in. This will all be because I decided to save £15, and spare myself the embarrassment of a recent match where I went to my pocket to get my season card, and found my bus pass instead To be fair to the ticket office staff, they solved the problem quickly, with no extra charge, and without humiliating me. So, my advice for August: get to the Kop early, and my apologies in advance to those queuing behind me. Your patience will be appreciated.

Only just read this today. I think we must be related. I'm just a few years younger ( not many) and technology HATES me. Which considering I used to teach a subject that involved quite a bit of technology is saying something.
If ever I have to do something online or to do with technology it NEVER works. And I end up swearing the house down. Mrs DJ excuses herself from any situation that involve me and technology. I'm sure I have an aura about me that gives off negative waves regarding technology.
I once went to buy some concert tickets from the reception desk in Huddersfield town hall. The lady behind the screen went into her computer to sort out my tickets.
'Name please ' she asked me politely.
I gave my name.
Her face fell.
'Oh' she said ' my screen just went blank'
For a few minutes she tried unsuccessfully to regain control of her computer screen.
Then a voice from the staircase above her desk shouted down to her ' what have you just done?. Every computer in the town hall has just crashed. Yours is the mainframe . No one has access to computers now!'
The poor woman was only able to reply ' well I put this gentleman s name in and it just went blank '.

Things like that happen frequently when I'm near computers.
You are not alone.

 

[shorehamview]

I have just renewed my season ticket for next season, and for the first time decided not to pay extra for a card, but have gone digital. My IT skills are almost zero, and the passing years are making them worse. I will be 79 by the start of the season, and I thought it only fair to warn you that if you see an old guy, tall, with plenty of hair for his age, standing near a turnstile looking very puzzled, go at once to a different turnstile and get in the ground while you can. There will soon be a long queue behind me as I try every way I can think of to make my phone and the turnstile communicate with each other, and then, given my usual dealings with machines, the turnstile will stop working. Before long the whole system will have crashed, and nobody will be able to get in. This will all be because I decided to save £15, and spare myself the embarrassment of a recent match where I went to my pocket to get my season card, and found my bus pass instead To be fair to the ticket office staff, they solved the problem quickly, with no extra charge, and without humiliating me. So, my advice for August: get to the Kop early, and my apologies in advance to those queuing behind me. Your patience will be appreciated.

I wondered why my digital season ticket wasn't working when I tried it earlier this year. Turns out that the scanning machine doesn't recognise RBS debit cards as a means of entry.

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

Only just read this today. I think we must be related. I'm just a few years younger ( not many) and technology HATES me. Which considering I used to teach a subject that involved quite a bit of technology is saying something.
If ever I have to do something online or to do with technology it NEVER works. And I end up swearing the house down. Mrs DJ excuses herself from any situation that involve me and technology. I'm sure I have an aura about me that gives off negative waves regarding technology.
I once went to buy some concert tickets from the reception desk in Huddersfield town hall. The lady behind the screen went into her computer to sort out my tickets.
'Name please ' she asked me politely.
I gave my name.
Her face fell.
'Oh' she said ' my screen just went blank'
For a few minutes she tried unsuccessfully to regain control of her computer screen.
Then a voice from the staircase above her desk shouted down to her ' what have you just done?. Every computer in the town hall has just crashed. Yours is the mainframe . No one has access to computers now!'
The poor woman was only able to reply ' well I put this gentleman s name in and it just went blank '.

Things like that happen frequently when I'm near computers.
You are not alone.

Perhaps we should get together when United are next losing a vital game. I’m sure we could accidentally wipe out all the electronics at the Lane and get the game abandoned.

 

[djbaldken]

Perhaps we should get together when United are next losing a vital game. I’m sure we could accidentally wipe out all the electronics at the Lane and get the game abandoned.

Great idea.
But the airfare for me from Lanzarote would cost more than the season ticket!