Concept for the Wilder announcement video looks good.
Blades badge flashes.
[Cut to Forgemasters]
Gary Sinclair throws a Status Quo LP into the forge. A single tear rolls down his cheek.
A white dove takes flight from the rafters of the building, flying outside and heading northbound alongside the Tinsley Viaduct
[Screen to black]
[Cut to BDTBL at twilight]
Dubstep version of ‘My Old Man Said Be A Wednesday Fan’ starts in the background.
The silhouettes of four, fat middle aged men in gilets dance and sashay across the Bramall Lane pitch.
[Floodlights flash on.]
A balaclava’d man wearing a ‘S. Sniper’ tabard smirks as he mechanically loads his rifle on the South Stand gantry. As he takes aim, an unknown figure sneaks up and garrots him from behind.
As the body falls, Prestridge reveals himself and gestures a thumbs up to the pitch.
[cut to touchline]
Bettis emerges out of the tunnel, dressed as a Pearly King, clutching an open file saying “SURVIVAL PLAN” on it. He shuts the file and nods at the camera.
Knill sits meditating on the centre circle, a copy of Tzu’s Art of War lies on his lap and his IPad is left open on Martin Lewis’s MoneySavingExpert website.
Wilder pats his shoulder as he walks past him along the centre of the pitch towards the Shoreham
He looks to camera, “First job is to sort the middle of the park. Took me 18 months to get a hospital appointment for my ingrowing toenails, so thankfully nowadays I’m an expert Centrist too. Plus don’t forget this time I’ve got some help”
Wilder stands arms outstretched as a dozen Bramall Lane pigeons land on him.
He points (off camera) towards the Shoreham and the pigeons fly into attack formation, looping towards a scarecrow dressed as Jurgen Klopp
[Screen fades to black]
[The screen flashes on]
A solitary pigeon pecks at a pair of black, thickrimmed glasses on the Bramall Lane pitch
[end]