Things to do during pre season to keep you entertained

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SteveBlade

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1. Book time off work to watch highlights of every game on repeat for the next four months.

2. Get your partner to sport a Chris Wilder mask during intercourse.

2.5. Find an extra and get them to wear an Alan Knill mask. Double the fun.

3. If you're an artistic individual, do some erotic drawings of your favourite Blades players.

4. Legally change your name to 'Chralan Knilder'.

5. Stalk the players as they go about their lives.

6. If you have a baby due, name them the Bladeyest name you can think of.

7. Take a hacking course and use your skills to hack PornHub, relacing every video with Blades goals. This will not only benefit you, but it will give everyone who uses the site added satisfaction and our fanbase will increase by more than 50 million.

8. Send nude photos of yourself to Blades players and staff to let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.

9. Send detailed notes of your deepest desires to Blades players and staff. This will let them know that they are trusted amongst their fans.

10. Wander around with two of the largest kitchen knives you can find and scream 'BLADES!!!!' as loud as you can in the face of pedestrians. This will help expand our fan base.

Please add your own.
 



1. Book time off work to watch highlights of every game on repeat for the next four months.

2. Get your partner to sport a chris wilder mask during intercourse.

2.5. Find an extra and get them to wear an alan knill mask. Double the fun.

3. If you're an artistic individual, do some erotic drawings of you're favourite Blades players.

4. legally change your name to 'Chralan Knilder'.

5. Stalk the players as they go about their lives.

6. If you have a baby due, name them the Bladeyest name you can think of.

7. Take a hacking course and use your skills to hack PornHub, relacing every video with Blades goals. This will not only benefit you, but it will give everyone who uses the site added satisfaction and our fanbase will increase by more than 50 million.

8. Send nude photos of yourself to Blades players and staff to let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.

9. Send detailed notes of your deepest desires to Blades players and staff. This will let them know that they are trusted amongst their fans.

10. Wander around with two of the largest kitchen knives you can find and scream 'BLADES!!!!' as loud as you can in the face of pedestrians. This will help expand our fan base.

Please add your own.
Ok, 1-8 done.
 
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17. Spend pointless hours trying to satisfy your obsession with the Blades by creating anagrams of players names in an attempt to engender a chuckle and be disappointed with the lack of vowels to play with. Ah well time for a few more beers.It is the weekend with only a mild interest in whatever footy is left:rolleyes:
Iron Man Keefer
Smash A Birch
Phil Brasyl
Olle Nacker
Ciril Shrewd
 
18. Start thinking of all the reasons why we shouldn't have released McNulty and Scoogs as they are DEFINITELY Champions League quality players.
 



20. Find time to complain about the Desso and how the money should have been better spent
 
Talk about cricket in the shoutbox, or just keep joining in with the conversation by saying cricket is shit.
 
There will be a free pyro with every programme which will include detailed instructions on how to launch the fucker to ensure it always hits a child,old woman,wheelchair user or muslim,(see flob thread).

SELF OPINIONATED WANKER POST

Murdoch shitrag, so I prefer the Torygraph or even the Gruniad.

MORE REASONABLE, LESS WANKER POST

A good way of whiling away a Saturday. Ideally the paper may have been taken down the pub at dinner but you can't always have everything.

LOOK AT ME, WANKER POST

In Stratford upon Avon for the weekend. A bit of shopping, plenty of walking and a few historic hosteleries visited.

Of course, it's not quite Vietnam.
 



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