Up to my old tricks again

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I once had a monster beard, went to Donny races and was having a laff with my mates at the bar, one of the lads told the barmaid I was working on Game of thrones and had nipped over from Ireland for the day in between filming..

I played along and said to her "I can't talk about anything it's all secrets" and walked off without a drink..

She came over for a selfie, and handed me a pint, while all the lads were creasing up behind her..

Hope she's not spent too long pausing the battle of the bastards trying to spot me..
 
You’ve had a while to come up with that post and I’ll be honest, it’s poor. It’s been all downhill since your first post.
 
genghis said:
Used one of my favourite tricks in the pub last night

Overheard some nerdy student type (skinny blond haired male, wearing a well-ironed Lacoste polo with a visible spaghetti stain on the front) spouting off about Boris Johnson

Taking my cue, I turn around and look him dead in the eye and say “what you saying about my cousin, pal?”

Reaction is priceless. He turns white as a sheet, starts fumbling over his words. His friends who were laughing along a few seconds earlier now look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world

It’s the same story every time. In the past month alone I’ve pretended to be a relative of Jeremy Corbyn, Andrew Neil, Piers Morgan, Gary Lineker, Katie Hopkins and Diane Abbot. I’ve had both a staunch brexiteer praising Femi and a LGBTQ type sucking up to Jim Davidson just by calling their bluff

Not once has anyone stood by their words when confronted on the issue. This is what happens when you make kids wear safety helmets
Click to expand...
I told you it wasn’t spaghetti it was tomato ketchup and whilst I was waiting for you in Argos car park you ran home to post your fantasy…….also, it’s Stone Island not River Island you cunt Alan.
 



genghis said:
Used one of my favourite tricks in the pub last night

Overheard some nerdy student type (skinny blond haired male, wearing a well-ironed Lacoste polo with a visible spaghetti stain on the front) spouting off about Boris Johnson

Taking my cue, I turn around and look him dead in the eye and say “what you saying about my cousin, pal?”

Reaction is priceless. He turns white as a sheet, starts fumbling over his words. His friends who were laughing along a few seconds earlier now look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world

It’s the same story every time. In the past month alone I’ve pretended to be a relative of Jeremy Corbyn, Andrew Neil, Piers Morgan, Gary Lineker, Katie Hopkins and Diane Abbot. I’ve had both a staunch brexiteer praising Femi and a LGBTQ type sucking up to Jim Davidson just by calling their bluff

Not once has anyone stood by their words when confronted on the issue. This is what happens when you make kids wear safety helmets
Click to expand...
tenor (10).gif
 
genghis said:
Used one of my favourite tricks in the pub last night

Overheard some nerdy student type (skinny blond haired male, wearing a well-ironed Lacoste polo with a visible spaghetti stain on the front) spouting off about Boris Johnson

Taking my cue, I turn around and look him dead in the eye and say “what you saying about my cousin, pal?”

Reaction is priceless. He turns white as a sheet, starts fumbling over his words. His friends who were laughing along a few seconds earlier now look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world

It’s the same story every time. In the past month alone I’ve pretended to be a relative of Jeremy Corbyn, Andrew Neil, Piers Morgan, Gary Lineker, Katie Hopkins and Diane Abbot. I’ve had both a staunch brexiteer praising Femi and a LGBTQ type sucking up to Jim Davidson just by calling their bluff

Not once has anyone stood by their words when confronted on the issue. This is what happens when you make kids wear safety helmets
Click to expand...
genghis said:
Used one of my favourite tricks in the pub last night

Overheard some nerdy student type (skinny blond haired male, wearing a well-ironed Lacoste polo with a visible spaghetti stain on the front) spouting off about Boris Johnson

Taking my cue, I turn around and look him dead in the eye and say “what you saying about my cousin, pal?”

Reaction is priceless. He turns white as a sheet, starts fumbling over his words. His friends who were laughing along a few seconds earlier now look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world

It’s the same story every time. In the past month alone I’ve pretended to be a relative of Jeremy Corbyn, Andrew Neil, Piers Morgan, Gary Lineker, Katie Hopkins and Diane Abbot. I’ve had both a staunch brexiteer praising Femi and a LGBTQ type sucking up to Jim Davidson just by calling their bluff

Not once has anyone stood by their words when confronted on the issue. This is what happens when you make kids wear safety helmets
Click to expand...
Charming,witty,psychotic and a great story teller….you’ve got it all.
Thanks Big G
 
genghis said:
Used one of my favourite tricks in the pub last night

Overheard some nerdy student type (skinny blond haired male, wearing a well-ironed Lacoste polo with a visible spaghetti stain on the front) spouting off about Boris Johnson

Taking my cue, I turn around and look him dead in the eye and say “what you saying about my cousin, pal?”

Reaction is priceless. He turns white as a sheet, starts fumbling over his words. His friends who were laughing along a few seconds earlier now look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world

It’s the same story every time. In the past month alone I’ve pretended to be a relative of Jeremy Corbyn, Andrew Neil, Piers Morgan, Gary Lineker, Katie Hopkins and Diane Abbot. I’ve had both a staunch brexiteer praising Femi and a LGBTQ type sucking up to Jim Davidson just by calling their bluff

Not once has anyone stood by their words when confronted on the issue. This is what happens when you make kids wear safety helmets
Click to expand...

Wonder who got the power pack.
 
giphy.gif
 
I was in the Garrick last week and in comes Piers Morgan with Mick Quinn. What I didn't know is that at the bar serving was Belinda Carlisle.

Anyway, Morgan ordered a drink and said to Mick Quinn 'I've fucked her' and Mick Quinn laughed and chucked his drink all over Belinda calling her a slag. Then all of a sudden, Bjork, who was sat eating a sarnie leaped up and started having a pop at Mick Quinn but what she didn't understand is that he's a Seventh Dan at Shotokhan Karate and he expertly front blocked her punch, delivered a front kick which caught her under the ribs and she spewed up. I ran over and said 'Easy, Mick for fuck's sake. What the fuck did you do that for?' Then Ross Kemp came over and fronted me up saying 'Back off, I have done training with the SAS for Ultimate Force, season two' but I knew he was bullshitting so I called him out on it and said 'I know you are bullshitting'. So just then one of them LBGTQ people (Sam Smith I think it was) stepped in and pushed Ross Kemp away and said 'I wouldn't, if I were you, Ross' wagging his finger. Mick Quinn was seriously shitting himself now because he knew I could have him an all and I walked off with Belinda Carlisle and fucked her all night.

Ghengis
 
pommpey said:
I was in the Garrick last week and in comes Piers Morgan with Mick Quinn. What I didn't know is that at the bar serving was Belinda Carlisle.

Anyway, Morgan ordered a drink and said to Mick Quinn 'I've fucked her' and Mick Quinn laughed and chucked his drink all over Belinda calling her a slag. Then all of a sudden, Bjork, who was sat eating a sarnie leaped up and started having a pop at Mick Quinn but what she didn't understand is that he's a Seventh Dan at Shotokhan Karate and he expertly front blocked her punch, delivered a front kick which caught her under the ribs and she spewed up. I ran over and said 'Easy, Mick for fuck's sake. What the fuck did you do that for?' Then Ross Kemp came over and fronted me up saying 'Back off, I have done training with the SAS for Ultimate Force, season two' but I knew he was bullshitting so I called him out on it and said 'I know you are bullshitting'. So just then one of them LBGTQ people (Sam Smith I think it was) stepped in and pushed Ross Kemp away and said 'I wouldn't, if I were you, Ross' wagging his finger. Mick Quinn was seriously shitting himself now because he knew I could have him an all and I walked off with Belinda Carlisle and fucked her all night.

Ghengis
Click to expand...
I was spellbound reading that. Took in every word.
Then you ruined the illusion.
Theres no way you can fuck all night!

DJBK
 
Very happy that Genghis has come back to share with us his wisdom in relation to being a proper geez. The forum is a better (not beta) place for it
 
Nade said:
Very happy that Genghis has come back to share with us his wisdom in relation to being a proper geez. The forum is a better (not beta) place for it
Click to expand...

He`s not a proper Alpha though. A proper Alpha geezer is shitfaced and Knee deep in pussy at 8.57pm on a Friday night, not posting on a footy forum. Fucking charlatan.
 



djbaldken said:
I was spellbound reading that. Took in every word.
Then you ruined the illusion.
Theres no way you can fuck all night!

DJBK
Click to expand...

There is mate. She gave me a lift in her Bentley and although she was rooering she said 'I'm fucking horny as a bison for thee' just because I'd fronted up Ross Kemp. I forgot to say ... I fucking chinned Piers Morgan just before I left for saying horrible things about Belinda and he went down like a sack of shit. Then I turned to pick Bjork up but she tried to get at so she got a slap an' all and Louis Theroux I think said he was going to call the police on me so I winked at Belinda and she grabbed her coat and we left, went back to her place and I gave her dozens of orgasms all night, got up, made some toast and then got on top of her again and gave her some more. Got back and my back was in tatters and my mate who was at the Garrick after we left said that Ross Kemp started rooering and slapped his missus cos she called him a cunt. S'true.

Ghengis

(postscript: There are kids in the navy who tell stories like this, even today)
 
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