I consider myself to be a fairly pragmatic person. I'm not religious. I don't do superstition. I don't believe in good luck charms or curses.
.... except (and I suspect this is fairly common?), when it comes to football results.
Don't ask me why, I know it's bullshit, but somethings just feel true. If you're like me you just *know* our current losing streak is down to you doing (or more likely: not doing) something! So come on, hands up, who didn't take a lucky shit/wear their lucky shirt/attended for the first time in months/etc? What have YOU done to upset the footballing gods?
I know it's my fault because I never predict us winning immediately prior to a match (I've found the closest I'm allowed to get away with is asking the kids what the score will be and agreeing with them. If I predict a score or even a win before a game, all bets are off! I never bet on our games for this exact reason!).
Prior to the Walsall game I had a moment. I casually mentioned to someone that we were due to spank a team, as we'd been dominating games against some teams but not getting the big score lines. The second I said it I regretted it, immediately said "I shouldn't have said that" and joked "watch us get a hiding now!". Yes, the football gods were pissing themselves that afternoon!
So hands up, what have you done wrong?
My friend, you need help. The first thing is to accept what is wrong with you. You are superstitious. You've denied it in your first sentence, but everything that follows it disproves that.
Now, there's nothing wrong with being superstitious. Mankind has been superstitious from the beginning of time and many still are. But it's a form of protection. It's a sign of insecurity. As that great philosopher, Stevie Wonder, once wrote, "when you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition ain't the way".
In many ways it's similar to religion. Because religion is founded on the same insecurities. It's for people who feel vulnerable, insecure and in awe of the world around them. They seek to make sense of it, to belong to groups of people who share the same fears and insecurities, and turn that into hopes and expectations instead. They are given the most ridiculous, stupid, far-fetched things to believe in, and their leaders tell them that if they want to be secure they must believe in these things. As their faith builds it is possible to get them to believe in even more ridiculously far-fetched things. In fact, the more ridiculous and far-fetched something is, the more they are inclined to believe in it, because it's seen as a test of faith. At the extreme end of religion, leaders are able to command their followers to commit acts which make them more insecure than if they had never taken religion up in the first place! That's how crazy it is. To make this all feasible in the feeble minds of followers - all religions invent some superior form of being - one which cannot be proven or disproven. They call this superior being "God" and provide no details about him (or her) or it. There is no evidence whatsoever to support any notion that any God exists, but once again, it's a case of, "you just have to believe in it", even though there isn't the slightest basis of evidence to support it. If we take the origins of our Universe, science has proven that many of the teachings about the same are complete nonsense. But even proof cannot overcome what some people choose to believe.
So, given all that my friend, there is nothing that anyone can say to you to convince you otherwise - and it's almost a complete waste of time trying. If you want to believe that something you said led to an outcome that in no way could possibly be linked then you are a very superstitious person and ideal material for being recruited into some religious sect.
Having said all that...
I do know what you mean. These thoughts have also crossed my mind in the past, but I'm intelligent and secure enough to dismiss them. In fact, it's not even down to intelligence, it's more about "life-experience". When I was about 14 years old and started taking an interest in girls, there was this girl in the year above me at school. Her name was Jennifer Wall. She was, in my eyes, an absolute stunning beauty of a girl. She had long blond hair, big blue eyes, a very pretty face and a supermodel figure. She used wear tight fitting tops that accentuated her large and shapely bosom. And she wore short black mini-skirts and knee length boots. I had never wanted a girl so much as her. I really couldn't stop thinking about her, although I knew, in reality, that I'd probably never ever have that pleasure. Rather than just admit to myself that a young spotty jerk like me was never going to pull a bird like that, I set myself a test. I convinced myself, when I got off the school bus, if I could get to the next lamp post before the school bus came past me I would definitely end up shagging Jennifer Wall.
Every day, for weeks, I got off the school bus and sprinted like a mad dog (like Matty Done actually) up the road to try and beat the bus. On most occasions the bus beat me, but there were a few occasions when I beat the bus. I remember giving that lamp post a victory slap when I achieved it. Other kids would stare at me gone out as the bus went past, wondering what the bloody hell had got into me to make me want to sprint like that to the next lamp post every day. But, they didn't know about this secret plan I had to be with Ms Wall.
I continued to race the school bus for several months and notched up many victories. But, I am still waiting for my opportunity with Ms Wall all these years later.
What I believed in was a total irrelevance. Unrelated and unable to influence a totally different event.
A bit like what you believe in. But, if it gives you pleasure then why not?
