The Pre-match Huddle

[Snowman]

Billy: OK Lads listen up. Knilly has bunged entire kitty with Chinese Dave on't first corner within 30 seconds of start. So it's me to Couttsy, Couttsy back to Si, Si with a bobbler to Laffo and Laffo knees it out. Couttsy, you fuck this up again by kicking the wrong way and Knilly says he's looking at your replacement already.

Only joking.

 

[coolhandluke]

Does anybody ever wonder what they say?
Same captain (Billy) every time so surely he must run out of clichés after the first few times.
"Come on lads. You know what you've got to do. Give it 110%. Don't leave anything on the pitch etc.."

Does he maybe try to mix it up a bit with a bit of Shakespeare:-"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that takes the field with me. Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile"

Or maybe a few lines from an inspirational pop song:- "We've got to all stick together. Good friends, there for each other. Never ever forget that, I've got you and you've got me, so reach for the stars".

They didn't have huddles when I used to play. Has anybody ever been in one? What the hell do they say?

We do a " huddle " ?

I think i need to get out of the ale house quicker

 

[Sean Thornton]

Jose Baxters having a party ........

 

[Karaoke Blade]

"Right then lads, this is what we do:

Simon: pass it to the lads at the back to pass to Duffy
Kieron: pass it to Duffy
Danny: pass it to Duffy
Ethan: pass it to Duffy
Jack: pass it to Duffy
Bash: (try to) pass it to Duffy
Paul: pass it to Duffy
John: pass it to Duffy
Matty: runabout a bit"

So what does he say to Duffy?

 

[The Crab]

"The Gaffer's been playing too much Football Manager, this formation will never fucking work"

 

[Iceybabey]

Do the dip to see who's in net

If you want to buy a car, buy a Jag
There's enough room in the back to have a shag
Bring a biscuit tin
To put your condoms in
If you want to buy a car buy a Jag

"Right, Moore its you again, sorry"

Landed on Moore every game he's played

 

[tyke1889]

"come on lads, where's the best shop for top quality discount custard?"

Nah you want 69p custard for that....

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/a-very-british-brothel/episode-guide/series-1

 

[Bladesthorpe]

Never understood the need for it to be honest, they have spent all week together training, then met up 4 hrs before kick off and spent the night together on long away games and can't find the time to tell one another what's needed to win the match. What a load of bollocks.

 

[1889]

One potato
Two potato
Three potato
Four.....

That's exactly what they're doing, it's to decide who will take the next penalty. Obviously Sharps not included

 

[coaxingstar71]

I'd imagine it would be about 'focus' and 'concentration' and 'marking'....... and 'let's tek piss lads'.

 

[Golden Gordon]

What a load of bollocks.

I concur.

 

[8lade]

What you spending your win bonus on today?
I thought I'd buy a sweater to drape over my shoulders.
I'm buying a half of shandy later!
My missus wants one of those dee-doodle dogs.
Ok lads lets go and get them!

 

[Jehovah]

This was filmed by Coutts in the huddle

 

[Deleted member 875]

I'm surprised that Nigel Adkins never introduced a huddle as it would have been a very Adkins thing to do.