Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

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BBC1 - Christmas Day Morning 10am

"Little Saint Nick"

Years ago, in the 1970's, it was Noel Edmonds who walked around the corridors of Children's Hospitals on Christmas morning, giving out Christmas presents to sick youngsters on live TV. This year, the BBC asked the kids directly, "who would be the perfect Father Christmas to visit you in hospital?", and the overwhelming response was, (you guessed it), that all round good guy, the midfield maestro, the legend of stage and screen, the nation's favourite, Mr. TV himself, the kid's number one, the one and only Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

Come on Blades fans, sing along at this festive time of year!


 



Peschies pesky pets, little Paul Peschisolido guides us through half an hour of the antics of his vast array of pets. Highlights include Peschies mongoose disappearing up Wayne Allisons trousers and biting him in a personal place after mistaking it for a one eyed snake! Movie sensation Nick Mongoose Mauler Montgomery is luckily on hand to save the day and Waynes pride and joy. This programme is followed by Wayne Allison discussing the incident in greater detail in Cheifs Brief Griefs.
 
Where's Wally? Follow Nick "Monty" Montgomery on his personal journey to track down his elusive hero Wally Downs. Expect tears as his seemingly impossible task falters at the mercy of the Westbrough Baptist Church followed by the joy of finally meeting his hero before joining him to wank over a monkeys tits in the amazonian rain forest.

A spectacular Christmas event for all the family.
 
Bladepicker said:
The Black and Whiteman Minstrel Show.

Basically a total rip off of your succesful show but commissioned by Sky 1
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The Blackman and Blackman minstrel show.

A very low budget remake of the earlier 'Blackman and White' and 'Black and Whitmeman' shows. Buoyed by the success of the earlier shows, new low budget Welsh comedy channel Daffyd, commisions a new title.

In an ironic twist on the now very un-PC 'Black and white minstrel show' of the early 70s, Nick and Jamal 'white up' to appear as Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Chesney Hawkes.

To make it doubly ironic in a funny and amusing but entirely inoffensive manner, Sir Nick 'Monty' Montygomery takes a break from Broadway to appear as a star guest. He 'blacks up' as Al Jolson but in order to avoid offence, then 'yellows up' on top to mimic Ho Chi Min, China's foremost chanteur and blues star.

After initially being 'highly offended', Harriot Harwoman meets the stars and is swept off her feet by Hollywood A lister Nick "Monty" Montgomery.
Meanwhile Nick B and Jamal go on to superstardom and re-record the Clash's seminal "Blackman in Hammersmith Palais'.

Spinoff channel Daffyd2 is apparently consider further spin offs from this surprisingly successful franchise.
 
It's a wonderful lie

Blades fans are assured David Brooks isn't being sold.


Morecambe and Wise Christmas Special

Guest Chris Wilder picks all of the right players but not necessarily in the right positions.




The Snowman

The Jose Baxter Story
 
Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special.

Laugh your daisy roots off, as Del-boy Geary tries to flog a broken SUFC fax machine as 'yer genuine antique'.

Brother Rodney Trotter goes to watch Wednesday and Uncle Albert tells salty tales of his time on HMS Tuna and the woes that befell him.

Starring Nick "Monty" Montgomery, in a surprise guest appearance as Trigger's brush.
 
"Some Clubs do have em..." this remake staring Carlos Carvalhal as the Hapless Frank Spencer and his wife Delfy - played by Dejphon Chansiri.

Get ready to hear the Catch phrase over and over again "Oh Delfy, I did a whoopsy..." and watch his stupid antics as he is chased by Chief Inspector Monty, played by Hollywood's finest Nick Montgomery.

cliffhangerI2.jpg


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Rodley said:
“Knock, Knocking on Evan’s Door”

From ostentasious knockers, to minute knobs, Welsh playmaker Lee Evan’s all action magazine show dissects the latest innovations in the UK doorbell industry.
Click to expand...

Its a good job you did a write up for it as i was expecting Chedwyn to be starring in some kind of hotel inspectors type spin off when i read the title!
 
BBC 2 - Saturday 6pm

"Any Which Way But Lose"

Knockabout comedy; when yankee doodle dandy Clint Eastwood inexplicably finds himself playing for Sheffield Wednesday, it's up to him to persuade his Hollywood chums that a 0-0 draw at the Lane is actually a win!

Starring Clint Eastwood as Atdhe "Lofty" Nuhiu, Wee Jimmy Krankie as Ross "Kranky" Wallace, James Wilson as Billy Sharp and Nick "Monty" Montgomery as Nick "Monty" Montgomery.
 
The Tunnel.

Pig fans skulk down to Bramall Lane, grab all three points, win the FA Cup four months early with a 0-0 draw, skulk back and claim to have"done the business" on the streets as usual.



Critically acclaimed.....

"Makes 'When Saturday Comes' look like Citizen Kane" Claudia Winkleman

"What a load of bollocks" Time Out

"Deluded" Film Magazine

"Porky bastards" Woman's Own

"Embarrassing" Stuart Hall

"Most arrogant fans in the country" FSA

"Wonderful" Sheffield Star

"Automatic Promotion a certainty" Owlstalk

"You buy DVD, £150, you buy now ungrateful piggies, l not pay everything. You banned you banned" 21st Century Fuxed Up
 



Moore and Holmes - Simon and Ricky look at the fascinating world of the floating house in Canada, they get out and Aboot with Lavery as he shows them round and as they learn all about the wonderful world of the floating home, but watch out for house inspector Monty, played by the enigmatic and Hollywood legend Nicholas Montgomery.

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Evan's Gate

A remake of the Hollywood blockbuster but with new plot twists.

Ched and Lee live together (Eric and Ernie style - no smut please) and take a daily trip down the garden path to inspect their gate.

Image their surprise, when one day Nick 'Monty' Montgomery turns up as the postman (who always rings twice). They meet him at the gate for a chat, so he doesn't get chance to use their bell.

The suspense builds and builds and builds. Maybe the sequel will finally see the electronic door warning apparatus used?
 
Last edited:
watch out for this wonderful re-make of the 1935 film the 39 Steps, the re-make "slightly" differs from the original, watch his first time in a movie, ex-Sheffield United player James Wallace as he has to train to tackle walking up the 39 steps, with the aid of his mentor Old school coach Nick "Monty" Montgomery in this oscar winning performance, can he get Glass Legs to climb the impossible or is it a step too far......

steps.jpg
 
Evans Can Wait - new signing Lee Evans arrives at Sheffield Train station for his first visit to the lane. Little does he know that due to an admin SNAFU, admin assistant Nick (played by Nick Montgomery) inadvertently orders a D Taxi.
 
BBC 2 - Sunday 6pm

"It Ain't Half Shit Mum"

Classic comedy; When the soldiers of the Royal Sheffield Wednesday Artillery Concert Party, try to come up with some great ideas to celebrate their 150th anniversary, everything goes wrong! They order the wrong uniforms, which don't arrive in time, then put up the concert party ticket prices, until they are the most expensive, and least value-for-money in the whole of the Indian jungle!, to top it all, rival Soldiers from The Queens First Sheffield United Infantry embarrass them on home soil.

It looks like the end for Captain Carlos "lar de dar" Carvalhal and hello to Sgt Major Jos "Yoo hoo" Luhukay, now if only the new man can convince his family back home, that 0-0 means a win! "our 150th year!, it ain't half shit mum......"

Starring Carlos Carvalhal as Captain Carlos "lar de dar" Carvalhal, Ronnie Corbett as Sgt Major Jos "Yoo hoo" Luhukay, Chris Wilder, as "Chris", Ross Wallace as Gunner Ross "Lofty" Wallace, and Jordan Rhodes as "Shot Shy", eagle eyed viewers may spot a young Nick Montgomery as third char wallah on the left, with no lines, Nick "Monty" Montgomery.
 



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