Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

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I Had Monty's Double.

An heroic war epic, centering around the loss of a large Scotch, starring Nicholas "Monty" Montgomery as Nick "Monty" Montgomery and Chris Wilder as the titular whisky purloiner.

Dong Skull Island - Monarch are a shadowy Government agency, set up to investigate Myths and Legends. Previous missions included trying to find a modicum of talent in Dean Hammond, investigating the mysterious case of the disappearing moneh, and who exactly made the "game changing investment" speech.

Their latest mission is to a previously uncharted Island, said to be the domain of the legendary Hao Haidong.

Starring Samuel L Jackson, Tom Hiddleston and Nick Montgomery as Monty, a pilot who crashed in World War 2 and has since lived with a Reclusive Splay Footed Tribe.

News of casting for a tragic but heartwarming, genre-bending, franchise-busting sequel to both of these films at once has just been leaked, The Three Montgomeries.

Set on the streets of Sheffield, and loosely based on Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes story "The Adventure of the Three Garridebs," The Three Montgomeries stars Nick "Monty" Montgomery in his most hardworking film yet, playing no fewer than THREE leading roles, appearing first as I Had Monty's Double's Nick "Monty" Montgomery, whose life is thrown into turmoil by a chance encounter in a prosthetics clinic with Dong Skull Island's Monty (also played here by "Monty"). Shattered by his rejection and betrayal by Monty, Nick "Monty" Montgomery has his faith in human nature restored by an oddball relationship with a mysterious, heavily tanned, splay-footed pensioner from down under known only as Montgomery (also played here, in Method style, by "Monty"). In the film's devastating denouement, Montgomery is strung from the beams and tortured with a football for a full 90 minutes by an unshaven twat in blue called Fat Frank, who is heard taunting Montgomery over the closing credits, shrieking with laughter as he claims it was the toughest roasting of his career ... .
 
Cameron Carts Vicars - Blades loanee CCV continues his horse-drawn jaunt around the British countryside accompanied by noted members of the clergy. This week former Archibishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams joins Cameron in the winding lanes of Somerset, the pair sharing theological banter and their mutual love of animals when bonding with carthorses Conor and Salmon.
 
The price is Wrong - with your host Nigel Adkins, "this week guessing the players value is Carlos Carvalhal"

Now lets turn the first player picture over.. Its Jordan Rhodes - "Now Carlos is the next one higher or lower than Jordan?"
"tune in after the break to see if Carlos can get it right for once!"
 
The Fantastic Four

45 minutes of mayhem as Leon puts his powers to the test.



The Bill

Leon's sidekick creates a goal (Cameo from Tyler Durden as Superintendent Apologist)



Moore the merrier?

Who worse, Simon or Jamal
 
Somebody up there likes me

Carlos discusses his life at the Sty, whilst staring at the photo of Mr Chansiri hung on every wall of his office.
 



Short series of sports programmes comparing local football squads.
This week we check through the Sheffield United players to see if any are better strikers than multi-million pound centre forward Jordan Rhodes in "Even Stevens"
Starring Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as one of the players better than Rhodes.
 
Strictly Come Dancing

This weeks dance is "The Bounce" in a shortened version of the show.

BBC 1 - Saturday, 6.45 PM

Strictly Come Dancing - Sheffield Showdown Special

Following on from the popularity of last week's show, the BBC will be showing a one-off special, focusing on dance crazes over the years, from 60's classics, like "The Twist", to the present day.

John Fleck - starts us off with a modern version of "The Missile"

Leon Clarke nips in quickly with a "Gentleman's Excuse Me"

Young David Brooks (blessed with School Boy looks) teaches Jack Hunt, "The Nutmeg"

A very unpopular choice next, as SWFC fans try to update the classic punk era "Pogo" with some very weak "bouncing", low scores guaranteed........

Mark Duffy quickly gets the show back on track, with an award winning "Side Shimmy", to the delight of football fans all over the country

Finally, Leon Clarke brings everything up to date and shows how to get through a rock festival mosh pit with ease, with his patented "Bludgeon".

On tonight's judging panel, Jordan "shot shy" Rhodes and Nick "it's a 10 from Monty" Montgomery

 
(Baby you’re the one, you still turn me on) You Can Make Me Heneghan

A fly on the wall documentary following the Blades reserve defender as he visits the nightspots of Motherwell seeking to reignite the passion and reingratiate himself with previous lovers. Theme tune sung by Atomic Kitten.
 
Brooks Brooks Books Bucks.

Follow up show in which Simon and Scott attempt to prove David hasn't made any money and has lost millions on the venture.
 
The Dirty Doyen

A remake of the classic western.


Carlos and eleven other mercenaries try to rescue a businessman from the clutches of a major conglomerate by spunking his money.

Starring Dolph Killa as the businessman, Stanley Unwin as Carlos, Stephen Hawking as Jack Hunt and George Hirst, as the boy desperate to cross town and make a new life for himself.
 
Long for Song,

this Documentary follows George Long and his real passion for singing, Cross dressing a Lady Shuddastoppedit, he revolves around the lower echelons of the cabaret circuit doing the think he loves, we follow him as he sings "Annie's Song" much to the chagrin of the crowd, his confidence knocked will he recover for the encore of "I Want To Be Free" or is it all over till the not so Fat lady sings?

 
Leon.

A re-imagining of the Jean Reno classic. Leon Clarke is a loner and Gun for Hire. After a spell of slaughtering bouncing pigs, and putting some backward Hull fans in their place, he goes back to his flat and befriends a girl.
 
Which Wright is Right? - a documentary following the Jakes as they take to the lakes and try and navigate with only maps and a compass, hilarity ensues as young Brooks meets them at the pier, and proves what we all thought he can walk on water....
 



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