Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[I should coco]

Deal or No Deal

A fly-on-the-wall documentary into the shifty shenanigans of transfer deadline day.

And the follow on series focusing specifically on SUFC' "No deal or No deal".

With Nick "Monty" Montgomery as the glamorous assistant, employing the latest digital touch up and camera filters.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Double Your Money


With Aidy Ward.

Will he double his money or end up looking a greedy twat?

 

[Sean Thornton]

The Railway children

This week the family find a gormless stranger sat all alone on the platform, who just keeps looking at his phone and bejewelled Constantin watch.

 

[Bladepicker]

'Suffo-cation'

Four celebrities go on a North American camping vacation with Olympic Gold winner Patrick Suffo - but have to survive from Arizona to The Rockies cramped in a 2 man tent.

 

[Bladepicker]

'Money Doesn't Grow on Dries'

Powerful documentary looking at the financial struggles of ex pro Dries Boussatta following his retirement from the game.

 

[Tyler Durden]

........

 

[I should coco]

Billy Sharp obviously needs to be dropped. Failed to score on Saturday, has no pace, can't play with Clarke, only scores penalties, always misses penalties and "being a striker is about more than scoring goals" of course.

That goes without saying, but you've posted it on the wrong thread unless that's a really really long name for a new show.

Are you sure you have got the hang of this tinterweb thingy? BTW, don't leave the PC at the library logged in or others will be able to see the donkey porn you were getting hard on.

 

[Tyler Durden]

That goes without saying, but you've posted it on the wrong thread unless that's a really really long name for a new show.

Are you sure you have got the hang of this tinterweb thingy? BTW, don't leave the PC at the library logged in or others will be able to see the donkey porn you were getting hard on.

Oh fuck.

I'll struggle to live this one down

 

[I should coco]

Oh fuck.

I'll struggle to live this one down

Just say you'd had a few.

Pissed by noon on Buckfast, crashed out on a park bench. Those on here that know you will understand.

 

[8lade]

Sharp's Short Cummings

Captain Sharp goes back to battle Napoleon once more aided by his lieutenants Craig Short and Eddie Cummings.

 

[The Crab]

Just say you'd had a few.

Pissed by noon on Buckfast, crashed out on a park bench. Those on here that know you will understand.

I'm very fucking jealous actually

 

[The Crab]

Batshit Billy - A new series following the daily life of former Blade Billy Whitehurst and his anger management problems. This week we follow Billy on a trip to Morrisons as he has run out of teabags and buys a sausage roll from the heated cabinet. He's in a bit of a rush so goes to the self service checkout, only to find that some twat is doing their big shop through the only working till instead of going to a proper till like any normal person would. Billy goes batshit as he goes back to the car, takes a bite of the sausage roll only to discover that any hint of warmth had left the sausage roll some time ago.

 

[shorehamview]

I Had Monty's Double.

An heroic war epic, centering around the loss of a large Scotch, starring Nicholas "Monty" Montgomery as Nick "Monty" Montgomery and Chris Wilder as the titular whisky purloiner.

 

[Grappler]

ITV 5pm

"The Chase"

This week, Chris Wilder and Alan Knill chase young Devante Cole around the streets of Fleetwood, trying to get his autograph before 11pm, ably assisted by his dad, Andy! Commentary provided by the Blades legend, the midfield maestro, the nations favourite, Mr. TV himself, Nick "Monty" Montgomery

 

[elgoog44]

Next on BBC 2, a late night book review - Turn the page with Robert Page, his panellist this week are political analyst and host - Nick Robinson, Political Satirist - John Bird, and Hollywood super star and ex footballer - Nick Montgomery taking a well earned time out from all his latest filming obligations, this weeks book in review is Made in Sheffield: My Story by Neil Warnock.

 

[I should coco]

this weeks book in review is Made in Sheffield: My Story by Neil Warnock.

A wonderful reference tome mentioning the great United club from Manchester.

It also features snippets about a smaller club called Sheffield United.

 

[elgoog44]

Watson and Holmes - Featuring Jimmy Holmes and Arthur Watson - this weeks episode is the hounds of the basket ball - Searching for ex basket baller player Howard Carter and is wrong doings in a small French town, they have to get help from English under cover agent - St Nicolas Montego - aka Monty, played by Hollywood star Nick Montgomery, as they search for the basket ball player HiC they are thwarted by the villainous Jean-Philippe Javary, hopefully they can save the day and get there man. Next weeks episode The Man in the shadows watch as they search for Dean Hammond and see if his recent unseen work places him at the scene of the crime.

 

[The Crab]

Batshit Billy - A new series following the daily life of former Blade Billy Whitehurst and his anger management problems. This week we follow Billy on a trip to Morrisons as he has run out of teabags and buys a sausage roll from the heated cabinet. He's in a bit of a rush so goes to the self service checkout, only to find that some twat is doing their big shop through the only working till instead of going to a proper till like any normal person would. Billy goes batshit as he goes back to the car, takes a bite of the sausage roll only to discover that any hint of warmth had left the sausage roll some time ago.

In today's episode of Batshit Billy, our hero decides to treat himself to a Pub meal. Billy decides to have Steak & Ale Pie, Chips & Peas. Billy goes batshit when the Pie arrives but only has a pastry top and no other crust. The programme ends with Billy being put into a Police Car screaming "thats not a Pie, it's a fucking fraud"

 

[The Crab]

Dong Skull Island - Monarch are a shadowy Government agency, set up to investigate Myths and Legends. Previous missions included trying to find a modicum of talent in Dean Hammond, investigating the mysterious case of the disappearing moneh, and who exactly made the "game changing investment" speech.

Their latest mission is to a previously uncharted Island, said to be the domain of the legendary Hao Haidong.

Starring Samuel L Jackson, Tom Hiddleston and Nick Montgomery as Monty, a pilot who crashed in World War 2 and has since lived with a Reclusive Splay Footed Tribe.

 

[I should coco]

Casey Jones

Paul Casey and Vinnie Jones struggle to keep an ageing steam engine going with no coal to burn just reams of fax paper. Look out for the guest appearance of Nick "Monty" Montgomery as ticket collector/guide and entertainment officer, keeping the passengers amused with his impressions of Frank Spencer ('Ooh Betty, the cat's done a whoopsie') and Michael Caine (' My name is Michael Caine - not a lot of people know that.').

 

[Pierre's PC]

Coming soon to Lifestyle TV

"Show us your tackle" this fascinating biopic of Nick "Monty" Montgomerys rise from nondescript footballer to Hollywood Icon. Featuring Kevin Spacey as Monty, with a superb supporting cast that includes:

Bill Nighy as Pinchy
Samuel L Jackson as Patrick Viera
A Bollard as Frank Lampard

And look out for a very special appearance from Big Bird as Neil Warnock

This critics all agree:

The finest account of Nick's amazing rise - His mother
I couldn't stop watching - Dave, ITC ward 7
I managed to get to second base, Thanks Monty!! - Horny teenager #6

 

[speedymcgeady]

The Guv'nor, starring Chris Morgan as Lenny McLean, kicks fuck out of everybody. The end

 

[Sean Thornton]

The Never Ending Story

Guest posters from S2 4SU set out there own theory as to Weers munni gone?

 

[brownie4583]

Room 101

1st episode features Chris Wilder who chooses football agents to go into room 101
Jordan Rhodes who explains why penalties should be removed from football and go into room 101
Jerome Sinclair who discusses why he hates day trips on trains and people who hang around train stations for no apparent reason.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Black Brooks

Young David has it all, skill, hunger, pace. But for some, there's just one thing missing.....

 

[Sean Thornton]

Chris Cross Quiz

It's the end of Deadline Day and a Peroniless Chris Wilder answers Blades fans questions on why we've signed no one.

 

[Grappler]

Film Four 9pm

"Trainspotting"

Gritty comedy drama. Young Jerome Sinclair sits alone on a deserted platform at Sheffield Train Station. How many trains will he count as he sits anxiously waiting for his agent to call. What happens if he needs a wee?, can he go to the loo without checking with his agent? Starring Ewen McGregor as "Jerome", Jordan Rhodes as "shot shy", and Nick "Monty" Montgomery as "Monty", the manageress of M&S (Sheffield Train Station branch).

 

[The Crab]

Room 101

1st episode features Chris Wilder who chooses football agents to go into room 101
Jordan Rhodes who explains why penalties should be removed from football and go into room 101
Jerome Sinclair who discusses why he hates day trips on trains and people who hang around train stations for no apparent reason.

Don't forget Fernando Forestfairy who aimed for Room 101 and hit Room 2072

 

[Sean Thornton]

Ripping Yarns - Golden Gordon

Updated for the 21st Century, Dejphon Chansiri reprises Michael Palins Gordon Ottershaw role about a shit football club.

Laugh out loud as the dolphin killer tells his old kit wearing supporters "shirts don't matter" and "you pay me, you pay me lots, you pay me know, for future"

(May contain scenes unsuitable for deluded Pigs)

 

[speedymcgeady]

The Burncross Triangle :- A young footballer in car with a personalised number plate,touted as the next biggest thing,joined by his mates,takes part in a wheel spinning contest in the car park of the Crown and Cushion.
His Manager finds out, and orders him to report to his office immediately.
In full view of all in the said car park,the young hero departs for the said meeting,and mysteriously disappears, no sign of him on any of the cctv cameras in the area, nor is his car picked up speeding through any of the Gatso's on the mean streets.....
His disappearance remains a mystery.