Shame, Disgrace & Embarrassment to me & my Family

[silver blade]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

 

[Damski]

Just be a good uncle for your niece's wedding. It doesn't always have to be about football, you know.

 

[JJ Sefton]

Just be a good uncle for your niece's wedding. It doesn't always have to be about football, you know.

Bollocks.

Nut the fucker.

 

[itsinyerblood]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

Pork scratchings will have him eating out of your palm mate, on second thoughts, wear gloves.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

Just be a good uncle for your niece's wedding. It doesn't always have to be about football, you know.

Bollocks.

Fuck the nutter.

 

[Darthblade]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

You're her uncle for goodness sake ...... you should have advised her better !!
And what about her parents ..... didn't they vet this pig first before allowing her to go out with him.

Only one course of action ...... tell her to deny him his nuptuals until he repents, renounces the pigs for the scum they are and comes over from the dark side to be a converted blade !!!!

This will be the only reasonable course of action. Oh and one other crucial thing ....... under NO circumstances must any future children be allowed to be brought up to be pigs !!!
UTB & FTP

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

You stand proud and tall and don't let the smell make you ill!

 

[1889]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

Truffles for him and a back hander for her, for bringing shame on the family?

My heart goes out to your sister, she must be bitterly disappointed.

 

[Lane Ender]

Truffles for him and a back hander for her for bringing shame on the family?

Stand motionless with a red and white scarf on.

 

[Bert Jr.]

I hope this is a joke. Some things are just bigger than football.

 

[travellingblade]

Request she walks down the isle to "You fill up my senses"

 

[Kenilworth]

When you get a round of drinks in just make sure that your F A Cup quarter final match ticket accidently drops near him, then you can ask, "didn't you want one?"

Even better if, by the time it happens, it can be a Semi Final ticket - but let's not count our chickens to early yet, eh?

 

[Rollerball]

Excommunication for the niece, re-education for her parents and if you really feel the need to buy a present maybe a hog roast BBQ kit (apple included).
Tho if the niece is truly repentant denying nuptials until this poor lost soul sees the error of his ways does sound a valid idea.
On a serious note getting married is punishment enough without having football brought into it

 

[The Glasshouse Blade]

Ive always told my daughters that they could walk down the aisle with a bloke of any colour, any size, and from any background, so long as he aint a pig!!

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

A hearty rendition of "YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD KICKED IN" during the first dance?

 

[pommpey]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

Its no problem really. My best mate's daughter - a diehard Blade and former girlfriend of a longstanding BUVP and other forums regular, has married and mated with a member of the lower-order species, producing a hybrid. The partner thinks that the child belongs to the grunts, but I put my faith in recessive and dominant gene science and hope he will one day join us in our misery supporting the Blades.

They had a pic on facebook recently with him dressed in their 'colours' and she dressed in the apparel of the supreme, with the poor lad being pulled angrily between them.

Up the Blades. He's even called Harry (I like to think after Bassett)

pommpey

 

[judge]

Get pissed and make an arse of yourself in no uncertain terms , thats what I do at weddings

 

[grafikhaus]

Just act with dignity and decorum.

And dress appropriately.

 

[stringjunior]

I feel now is the appropriate time to come clean.

















I married one of 'em. She's mighty fit though....

 

[itsinyerblood]

Just act with dignity and decorum.

And dress appropriately.

Thing is graf, if that's the face, WTF is the ladygarden like?????

 

[shorehamview]

My father in law and nephew are pigs. Season ticket holders too. When the nephew got gobby when they got promoted I congratulated him on it being the first time in his ten year life that they'd finished above us.

I only let them in the house because the wife (who's been to watch us but doesn't really care for football) says I have to.

 

[mattbianco1]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

I hope you missed the sarcastic smiley off by accident?

If that is a serious post then you are very strange.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

I married one of 'em. She's mighty fit though....

You do know that when she's shagging you she's imagining Chris Waddle circa 1990 don't you?

 

[Fulwood Blade]

just make sure the KIDS are Blades - at least you will have redeemed yourself a tad.

first present is a Blades babygro - in fact give them some as a joke wedding present just to put the pig in his rightful place.

UTB

 

[Blackheath Blade]

one of my relatives, my sister's daughter no less is going to marry a die hard wednesday supporter and i'm expected at the ceremony, i've never shook hands with a pig before.
can anyone advise me on the correct procedere on such an occassion, i'm thinking of just staying in the background.
any ideas ides on a wedding present? something from the blades shop perhaps?

Think yourself lucky. If you were from Barnsley, it would be you marrying your Niece.

 

[vorpal blade]

If they are as massive as they think they are, you won't be able to reach anyway.

 

[vorpal blade]

This one is is a high-risk, high reward strategy if he really is a rotter.

Kiss him, erotically, start to cry and shake hands with her.


(I have assumed you are a man Silver Blade but even if you aren't, the same advice applies)

 

[beatific blade]

You do know that when she's shagging lengthing you she's imagining Chris Waddle circa 1990 don't you?

Oh, and KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS PIGLETS!

 

[highpeakblade]

 

[FleaPitBlade]

Offer him Ro-Sham-Bo. Winner gets to choose the allegiance of the offspring.