My take ...

All advertisments are hidden for logged in members, why not log in/register?

pommpey

THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
Joined
Dec 9, 2015
Messages
9,261
Reaction score
26,522
Location
South Coast
Sorry for the lateness, straight out to a gig after the match. A better one tonight than the two last weekend where the first one resulted in a pissed up woman falling into and taking down our left hand speaker and lighting rig, and the second one me (yes, fifty eight years old and a granddad) feytin with a punter who'd nicked my £850-00 radio mic. No such fun tonight, but we had 'em singin', dancin' and cavortin'.

Glad I started with that because talking about United these days is pretty painful, isn't it? Today was like watching your toy poodle in a parkscrap with a Staffordshire Pit Bull Terrier. After we'd yapped and nipped at Blackburn, they simply picked us up in those jaws and shook us about.

Okay, it was a great start but with a similar synchronicity to the Bournemouth game with Sharp doing all the grown up work and setting up one of the nippers, you just knew that we'd never score again and were likely to fuck things up. Really pleased to see Brewster get his first Blades league goal after thirty odd fucking appearances but after that he was just his usual, abject, shit-value-for-a-lot-of-money self. Shoutbox practically jizzed itself onto empty bollocks territory when it went in and yeah, it was a great finish, but the next forty minutes of creeping submission told us all we needed to know. United are, and remain not even good enough for this league, let alone a team who suffered a 7-0 bum-trunking last time out. Predictably, Snr Brereton-Diaz-de-la-Santiago-y-con-carne proved a reyt fucking handful, despite Bash being practically the only player we own who could deal with him. But Blackburn, like most teams, showed no fear for us. Sure, they're one down to an early straight right, but here you go, motherfucker ... have that ... that ... and THAT. It was like watching Bruno take on Tyson again. The big daft cunt had landed a few early smacks on the insane, neckless lunatic from Catskill, but you could see, 'Arry, that the only scared one was Frank, because all it did was make Tyson think, 'cheeky cunt', and before you know it, Bruno's got his back to the ropes with Tyson landing sickening punch after sickening punch with no response, hoping the ref will step in, wave his arms and remove his gumshield before Tyson hits him so fucking hard he shits his own eyeballs out.

We were bound to lose, weren't we? Keep saying it, but we've been found badly out, shipping players as a squad who save for a rare exception, will definitely struggle even next year if we get relegated. I don't really think we ever deserved to be in the Premiership to be honest, given the past season and a half has shown us that the rump of the squad individually have no redeeming footballing assets. Olsen is no way an international keeper, Bogle has nothing to add to the game, Egan is a pale shadow of the moderately decent centre back we once admired, Stevens is finished at Championship level, Norwood and Fleck are dismally easy to play against and get the better of and are progressively getting worse as footballers, Osborn - despite kind words and hopes - is pretty ineffective all over the pitch, Brewster has proven to be possibly the biggest and worst signing ever with nothing to show which can save his name or credibility (and that goal may be the only league goal he scores this season), see also Berge who is an injury-prone flop, Burke is a joke as a professional footballer, McBurnie another dismal failure in red and white, Freeman ... who?, Mousset a fucking strap-hanging liability, Baldock is fading fast into the wallpaper of dross ... 20/1 Bar. The only redeeming factors are Ndaiye and MGW who even then, overplay things but at least try and the evergreen Chris Basham who is head and shoulders above everyone else in terms of footballing nous and vision and could be still playing in the top flight. Billy and Didsy are triers, but are shot to bits now and everything else stinks the temple of Bramall Lane out. Sure, we've been in crisis before but the last slump was at least gradual, like a non-specific urethritis. One minute you're pounding a grim old hound from Batemoor and taking shit from your mates in the pub the next day, but it's some weeks before you are pissing razorblades and your bulb looks like a Pudsey nose, and you have to have something unpleasant shoved down your angry old meatus. This collapse is more like herpes ... you can almost feel it at work as you are drunkenly hammering away at said lady's undermeats. What the fuck am I fucking going on about? Yeah, here it is. We are fucked, and this time we know it. Last time it was like, 'Hey, how come we ended up eleventh in the third division? How did that happen?' It was like, it happened so predictably and gradually it hurt, but not as much. Watching this shower of useless jizzlobbers its now clear that last season was just the start ... and it won't finish until their contracts run out and they all leave Bramall Lane in a fucking coach going the other way out of the gates with the same crowds cheering and chucking beer like May two years ago. In fact they might just get carried OUT of BDTBL and placed on the coach and showered with bottles of warm, acrid pubdrinkers' piss.

Kevin McCabe, woeful shitcunt that he was, must be laughing himself shitless at us. And in truth, I don't blame him.

Olsen 3/10: Getting worse and worse by each game. He is basically Steve Simonsen with blonde hair. No, hold that. He's Lee Baxter. There. I said it.
Bogle 3/10: Some fleeting interactions but has declined in confidence and ability since the Fulham away injury
Egan 3.5/10: Another former legend now who is simply not delivering
Basham 6.5/10: Good on and off the ball and key interceptor in moments of crisis. But was to blame for Cameron Diaz's goal
Stevens 1/10: Not even at the game today. I am deeply saddened by this bloke's collapse in credibility. He was such a good player for us at one time
Norwood 3.5/10: He's still woefully exposed and overborne by any opposition. One or two long punts today but generally his performance can be summed up as horseshit with hay in it
Fleck 1/10: Fucking dreadful
MGW 5.5/10: He grafts but it seems like he is on another FIFA level to everyone else, so it looks like he is on 'Semi-Pro' whilst the team is on 'Arse'
Osborn 3.5/10: The usual. Runs about, achieves nothing.
Brewster 3/10: Two full marks for his finish and goal
Sharp 5/10; The only player who is still committed to United, it seems. Worked hard for the goal

Mousset 1/10: About as useful as tits on a snake
Ndaiye 2/10: No effect
Baldock 3/10: No effect

We are in trouble, Bladesmen. Have been for some time and Slav isn't the cause. We won't be a credible, match winning side until the majority of these wasters have been farmed out, bought out or their shitty contracts expire. And they won't see a queue at the door to take them on or sign our legion of duds too. Want someone to blame? He's just taken over at Middlesbrough.

pommpey
 
Last edited:

Glad to see you turned up the ruthlessness'odometer after being a little kind almost sympathetic in previous games pommpey

Truth is this team is a towering pile of shit. And certainly not a 'team'

Cheers for the write up as always!
 
Absolutely nailed it, the sad reality is that we are stuck with hugely expensive players who are simply not good enough.
Not sure where we go from here tbh, the usual reaction would be to sack the Manager but I honestly don’t think that would change anything.
Can the Prince rustle up the funds for a significant overhaul and is that even possible in the January window? - I doubt it.
Play more of the under 23’s? - a massive risk and potentially damaging in the long-term for their careers.

If anyone claps Mr Wilder on his return with Boro I think I’ll puke.
 
So, did you win the fight and get your mic back?

If so, 7/10

Otherwise, Fleck/10

Can't seem to give zeros on our playing ratings. This needs to be addressed along with your brilliant suggestion of a Fleck out of 10 also!
 
Well at least we can look forward to derbies with the pigs next season.

A side riddled with mediocre players living on past reputations that are like my hairline, a distant fucking memory.

Then there's the pigs.......
 
Only a small good point from yesterday.. Brewster scored , other than that an absolute shit show against a side mauled 3 days earlier . No improvement or signs of progress , now getting concerned ⚔️
 
Lovely use of metaphors, I like a good metaphor. I used to like a good graph before GiraffeBlade moved upstairs ‘t big stand.

Got to agree its Wilders fault (just as much as promotion was to his credit) we are where we are, in the shit squad wise. He had the backing, fans, money etc to succeed but he didn’t have it in him and in the end he did what they all do, looked after numero uno and left us deep in shit.

Changing the manager is not the solution (maybe changing his approach might help) but he still has the same fizzled out group of players. It will cost us January’s budget and a few more to pay him off and we will still have the same broken tools to work with. It’s like changing the steering wheel to fix a blown head gasket.

So, what is the solution? Credit to the Prince he crowbarred McCabe out of the club but he’s no mIsiah and his own credit is spent now. Staying on as owner and United World visionary is like playing Fleck and Norwood as our midfield engine for the rest of the season and expecting a top six finish.

In the real world of modern football the only solution is a buyout with wealthy new owners and even that isn’t a guarantee (look at pigs). Sheffield is a failed city with one too many professional football teams to support. Investors don’t want to invest and players don’t want to move to a failing city or a club that keeps trying to buck against the wage structure of football on the pretence of morality. You either shit or get off the pot, that’s what football is now.
 
Cannot comment on your marks because I listened on Radio Sheffield, but your synopsis could have been written by Carl Asaba, he too was disgusted by the whole team and manager. (As I’ve noted on another thread.)
To be honest , it was embarrassing just listening so God only knows how the paying fans felt . Lost count of the number of times he asked why is Fleck still on the pitch?.
 
Sorry for the lateness, straight out to a gig after the match. A better one tonight than the two last weekend where the first one resulted in a pissed up woman falling into and taking down our left hand speaker and lighting rig, and the second one me (yes, fifty eight years old and a granddad) feytin with a punter who'd nicked my £850-00 radio mic. No such fun tonight, but we had 'em singin', dancin' and cavortin'.

Glad I started with that because talking about United these days is pretty painful, isn't it? Today was like watching your toy poodle in a parkscrap with a Staffordshire Pit Bull Terrier. After we'd yapped and nipped at Blackburn, they simply picked us up in those jaws and shook us about.

Okay, it was a great start but with a similar synchronicity to the Bournemouth game with Sharp doing all the grown up work and setting up one of the nippers, you just knew that we'd never score again and were likely to fuck things up. Really pleased to see Brewster get his first Blades league goal after thirty odd fucking appearances but after that he was just his usual, abject, shit-value-for-a-lot-of-money self. Shoutbox practically jizzed itself onto empty bollocks territory when it went in and yeah, it was a great finish, but the next forty minutes of creeping submission told us all we needed to know. United are, and remain not even good enough for this league, let alone a team who suffered a 7-0 bum-trunking last time out. Predictably, Snr Brereton-Diaz-de-la-Santiago-y-con-carne proved a reyt fucking handful, despite Bash being practically the only player we own who could deal with him. But Blackburn, like most teams, showed no fear for us. Sure, they're one down to an early straight right, but here you go, motherfucker ... have that ... that ... and THAT. It was like watching Bruno take on Tyson again. The big daft cunt had landed a few early smacks on the insane, neckless lunatic from Catskill, but you could see, 'Arry, that the only scared one was Frank, because all it did was make Tyson think, 'cheeky cunt', and before you know it, Bruno's got his back to the ropes with Tyson landing sickening punch after sickening punch with no response, hoping the ref will step in, wave his arms and remove his gumshield before Tyson hits him so fucking hard he shits his own eyeballs out.

We were bound to lose, weren't we? Keep saying it, but we've been found badly out, shipping players as a squad who save for a rare exception, will definitely struggle even next year if we get relegated. I don't really think we ever deserved to be in the Premiership to be honest, given the past season and a half has shown us that the rump of the squad individually have no redeeming footballing assets. Olsen is no way an international keeper, Bogle has nothing to add to the game, Egan is a pale shadow of the moderately decent centre back we once admired, Stevens is finished at Championship level, Norwood and Fleck are dismally easy to play against and get the better of and are progressively getting worse as footballers, Osborn - despite kind words and hopes - is pretty ineffective all over the pitch, Brewster has proven to be possibly the biggest and worst signing ever with nothing to show which can save his name or credibility (and that goal may be the only league goal he scores this season), see also Berge who is an injury-prone flop, Burke is a joke as a professional footballer, McBurnie another dismal failure in red and white, Freeman ... who?, Mousset a fucking strap-hanging liability, Baldock is fading fast into the wallpaper of dross ... 20/1 Bar. The only redeeming factors are Ndaiye and MGW who even then, overplay things but at least try and the evergreen Chris Basham who is head and shoulders above everyone else in terms of footballing nous and vision and could be still playing in the top flight. Billy and Didsy are triers, but are shot to bits now and everything else stinks the temple of Bramall Lane out. Sure, we've been in crisis before but the last slump was at least gradual, like a non-specific urethritis. One minute you're pounding a grim old hound from Batemoor and taking shit from your mates in the pub the next day, but it's some weeks before you are pissing razorblades and your bulb looks like a Pudsey nose, and you have to have something unpleasant shoved down your angry old meatus. This collapse is more like herpes ... you can almost feel it at work as you are drunkenly hammering away at said lady's undermeats. What the fuck am I fucking going on about? Yeah, here it is. We are fucked, and this time we know it. Last time it was like, 'Hey, how come we ended up eleventh in the third division? How did that happen?' It was like, it happened so predictably and gradually it hurt, but not as much. Watching this shower of useless jizzlobbers its now clear that last season was just the start ... and it won't finish until their contracts run out and they all leave Bramall Lane in a fucking coach going the other way out of the gates with the same crowds cheering and chucking beer like May two years ago. In fact they might just get carried OUT of BDTBL and placed on the coach and showered with bottles of warm, acrid pubdrinkers' piss.

Kevin McCabe, woeful shitcunt that he was, must be laughing himself shitless at us. And in truth, I don't blame him.

Olsen 3/10: Getting worse and worse by each game. He is basically Steve Simonsen with blonde hair. No, hold that. He's Lee Baxter. There. I said it.
Bogle 3/10: Some fleeting interactions but has declined in confidence and ability since the Fulham away injury
Egan 3.5/10: Another former legend now who is simply not delivering
Basham 6.5/10: Good on and off the ball and key interceptor in moments of crisis. But was to blame for Cameron Diaz's goal
Stevens 1/10: Not even at the game today. I am deeply saddened by this bloke's collapse in credibility. He was such a good player for us at one time
Norwood 3.5/10: He's still woefully exposed and overborne by any opposition. One or two long punts today but generally his performance can be summed up as horseshit with hay in it
Fleck 1/10: Fucking dreadful
MGW 5.5/10: He grafts but it seems like he is on another FIFA level to everyone else, so it looks like he is on 'Semi-Pro' whilst the team is on 'Arse'
Osborn 3.5/10: The usual. Runs about, achieves nothing.
Brewster 3/10: Two full marks for his finish and goal
Sharp 5/10; The only player who is still committed to United, it seems. Worked hard for the goal

Mousset 1/10: About as useful as tits on a snake
Ndaiye 2/10: No effect
Baldock 3/10: No effect

We are in trouble, Bladesmen. Have been for some time and Slav isn't the cause. We won't be a credible, match winning side until the majority of these wasters have been farmed out, bought out or their shitty contracts expire. And they won't see a queue at the door to take them on or sign our legion of duds too. Want someone to blame? He's just taken over at Middlesbrough.

pommpey
Can't disagree with that Pommpey just feel that SJ has compounded our problems: changing to a back 4 without the players to play that way ,seems adamant this is the way forward without the nous to carry it out.
SJ was sold short in the window but his refusal to play a way the players are comfortable with means the players confidence his shot and we are in trouble,unforgivable with such an experienced coach.
Can anyone explain the "process" to me as like the players I don't understand it.
Go back 15 years and Brian Robson in charge (,Mccabe did back him though) we would have gone down that season if he wasn't removed ,this is a similar position.
I hope the Prince is taking on board our fears as they are real and won't go away if nothing is done.
 

Can't disagree with that Pommpey just feel that SJ has compounded our problems: changing to a back 4 without the players to play that way ,seems adamant this is the way forward without the nous to carry it out.
SJ was sold short in the window but his refusal to play a way the players are comfortable with means the players confidence his shot and we are in trouble,unforgivable with such an experienced coach.
Can anyone explain the "process" to me as like the players I don't understand it.
Go back 15 years and Brian Robson in charge (,Mccabe did back him though) we would have gone down that season if he wasn't removed ,this is a similar position.
I hope the Prince is taking on board our fears as they are real and won't go away if nothing is done.


Did you notice the players “comfortable” with 352 didn’t really make a fist of it last season?
 
Did you notice the players “comfortable” with 352 didn’t really make a fist of it last season?
True but changing style with no clever players leaves us in a mess.
Heckingbottom got a tune out of them ,not saying that style would have ripped it up just think SJ changed it without really looking at what we had! a lack of quality!
We have a real problem now !
Players bereft of confidence playing to a system foreign to them with a lack of the right kind of nous to make it work
 
Ok everyone’s pissed off after that including me. And venting. Worst performance this season. Reason why ? Blackburns Refreshed team played out of their skins as a reaction to midweek. They were like watching us in 2019. Could this be a wake up call .. Slav sounds a bit more exercised too. Maybe now we’ll stop thinking we’re an unlucky but periodically excellent team and start grafting .. like Blackburn. Good mix it up kick up the arse time. But still very pissed off.
 
Ok everyone’s pissed off after that including me. And venting. Worst performance this season. Reason why ? Blackburns Refreshed team played out of their skins as a reaction to midweek. They were like watching us in 2019. Could this be a wake up call .. Slav sounds a bit more exercised too. Maybe now we’ll stop thinking we’re an unlucky but periodically excellent team and start grafting .. like Blackburn. Good mix it up kick up the arse time. But still very pissed off.
Sorry, how many more kicks up the @rse or wake up calls do we need to spur this shit shower into reacting? Look below 42 points from 174 post lockdown.
 
Sorry for the lateness, straight out to a gig after the match. A better one tonight than the two last weekend where the first one resulted in a pissed up woman falling into and taking down our left hand speaker and lighting rig, and the second one me (yes, fifty eight years old and a granddad) feytin with a punter who'd nicked my £850-00 radio mic. No such fun tonight, but we had 'em singin', dancin' and cavortin'.

Glad I started with that because talking about United these days is pretty painful, isn't it? Today was like watching your toy poodle in a parkscrap with a Staffordshire Pit Bull Terrier. After we'd yapped and nipped at Blackburn, they simply picked us up in those jaws and shook us about.

Okay, it was a great start but with a similar synchronicity to the Bournemouth game with Sharp doing all the grown up work and setting up one of the nippers, you just knew that we'd never score again and were likely to fuck things up. Really pleased to see Brewster get his first Blades league goal after thirty odd fucking appearances but after that he was just his usual, abject, shit-value-for-a-lot-of-money self. Shoutbox practically jizzed itself onto empty bollocks territory when it went in and yeah, it was a great finish, but the next forty minutes of creeping submission told us all we needed to know. United are, and remain not even good enough for this league, let alone a team who suffered a 7-0 bum-trunking last time out. Predictably, Snr Brereton-Diaz-de-la-Santiago-y-con-carne proved a reyt fucking handful, despite Bash being practically the only player we own who could deal with him. But Blackburn, like most teams, showed no fear for us. Sure, they're one down to an early straight right, but here you go, motherfucker ... have that ... that ... and THAT. It was like watching Bruno take on Tyson again. The big daft cunt had landed a few early smacks on the insane, neckless lunatic from Catskill, but you could see, 'Arry, that the only scared one was Frank, because all it did was make Tyson think, 'cheeky cunt', and before you know it, Bruno's got his back to the ropes with Tyson landing sickening punch after sickening punch with no response, hoping the ref will step in, wave his arms and remove his gumshield before Tyson hits him so fucking hard he shits his own eyeballs out.

We were bound to lose, weren't we? Keep saying it, but we've been found badly out, shipping players as a squad who save for a rare exception, will definitely struggle even next year if we get relegated. I don't really think we ever deserved to be in the Premiership to be honest, given the past season and a half has shown us that the rump of the squad individually have no redeeming footballing assets. Olsen is no way an international keeper, Bogle has nothing to add to the game, Egan is a pale shadow of the moderately decent centre back we once admired, Stevens is finished at Championship level, Norwood and Fleck are dismally easy to play against and get the better of and are progressively getting worse as footballers, Osborn - despite kind words and hopes - is pretty ineffective all over the pitch, Brewster has proven to be possibly the biggest and worst signing ever with nothing to show which can save his name or credibility (and that goal may be the only league goal he scores this season), see also Berge who is an injury-prone flop, Burke is a joke as a professional footballer, McBurnie another dismal failure in red and white, Freeman ... who?, Mousset a fucking strap-hanging liability, Baldock is fading fast into the wallpaper of dross ... 20/1 Bar. The only redeeming factors are Ndaiye and MGW who even then, overplay things but at least try and the evergreen Chris Basham who is head and shoulders above everyone else in terms of footballing nous and vision and could be still playing in the top flight. Billy and Didsy are triers, but are shot to bits now and everything else stinks the temple of Bramall Lane out. Sure, we've been in crisis before but the last slump was at least gradual, like a non-specific urethritis. One minute you're pounding a grim old hound from Batemoor and taking shit from your mates in the pub the next day, but it's some weeks before you are pissing razorblades and your bulb looks like a Pudsey nose, and you have to have something unpleasant shoved down your angry old meatus. This collapse is more like herpes ... you can almost feel it at work as you are drunkenly hammering away at said lady's undermeats. What the fuck am I fucking going on about? Yeah, here it is. We are fucked, and this time we know it. Last time it was like, 'Hey, how come we ended up eleventh in the third division? How did that happen?' It was like, it happened so predictably and gradually it hurt, but not as much. Watching this shower of useless jizzlobbers its now clear that last season was just the start ... and it won't finish until their contracts run out and they all leave Bramall Lane in a fucking coach going the other way out of the gates with the same crowds cheering and chucking beer like May two years ago. In fact they might just get carried OUT of BDTBL and placed on the coach and showered with bottles of warm, acrid pubdrinkers' piss.

Kevin McCabe, woeful shitcunt that he was, must be laughing himself shitless at us. And in truth, I don't blame him.

Olsen 3/10: Getting worse and worse by each game. He is basically Steve Simonsen with blonde hair. No, hold that. He's Lee Baxter. There. I said it.
Bogle 3/10: Some fleeting interactions but has declined in confidence and ability since the Fulham away injury
Egan 3.5/10: Another former legend now who is simply not delivering
Basham 6.5/10: Good on and off the ball and key interceptor in moments of crisis. But was to blame for Cameron Diaz's goal
Stevens 1/10: Not even at the game today. I am deeply saddened by this bloke's collapse in credibility. He was such a good player for us at one time
Norwood 3.5/10: He's still woefully exposed and overborne by any opposition. One or two long punts today but generally his performance can be summed up as horseshit with hay in it
Fleck 1/10: Fucking dreadful
MGW 5.5/10: He grafts but it seems like he is on another FIFA level to everyone else, so it looks like he is on 'Semi-Pro' whilst the team is on 'Arse'
Osborn 3.5/10: The usual. Runs about, achieves nothing.
Brewster 3/10: Two full marks for his finish and goal
Sharp 5/10; The only player who is still committed to United, it seems. Worked hard for the goal

Mousset 1/10: About as useful as tits on a snake
Ndaiye 2/10: No effect
Baldock 3/10: No effect

We are in trouble, Bladesmen. Have been for some time and Slav isn't the cause. We won't be a credible, match winning side until the majority of these wasters have been farmed out, bought out or their shitty contracts expire. And they won't see a queue at the door to take them on or sign our legion of duds too. Want someone to blame? He's just taken over at Middlesbrough.

pommpey
Wow what a damning inditement ! Sadly.
 
Ok everyone’s pissed off after that including me. And venting. Worst performance this season. Reason why ? Blackburns Refreshed team played out of their skins as a reaction to midweek. They were like watching us in 2019. Could this be a wake up call .. Slav sounds a bit more exercised too. Maybe now we’ll stop thinking we’re an unlucky but periodically excellent team and start grafting .. like Blackburn. Good mix it up kick up the arse time. But still very pissed off.
We
Ok everyone’s pissed off after that including me. And venting. Worst performance this season. Reason why ? Blackburns Refreshed team played out of their skins as a reaction to midweek. They were like watching us in 2019. Could this be a wake up call .. Slav sounds a bit more exercised too. Maybe now we’ll stop thinking we’re an unlucky but periodically excellent team and start grafting .. like Blackburn. Good mix it up kick up the arse time. But still very pissed off.
Won't be that easy we have a team devoid of confidence ! Do the players beleave in the process as SJ calls it ! My opinion is that is doubtful!
 
GLad you mentioned Bash was at fault for the first goal, he was piss poor in that challenge and isn't the same force he was either. Aside from that, can't disagree.

PS what is your band? Would love to hear/see any vids you have from one band gigger to another.

cheers,
gav
 
Sorry, how many more kicks up the @rse or wake up calls do we need to spur this shit shower into reacting? Look below 42 points from 174 post lockdown.
Take your point but we are still getting 28k at home and there has been that feeling that we are a misfiring engine about to splutter into life. Slav has been all the players are fine and adapting to the new style. Now he’s that was unacceptable in terms of effort. It will be interesting to see the reaction if any v Coventry and the atmosphere at the Lane.
 
Sorry for the lateness, straight out to a gig after the match. A better one tonight than the two last weekend where the first one resulted in a pissed up woman falling into and taking down our left hand speaker and lighting rig, and the second one me (yes, fifty eight years old and a granddad) feytin with a punter who'd nicked my £850-00 radio mic. No such fun tonight, but we had 'em singin', dancin' and cavortin'.

Glad I started with that because talking about United these days is pretty painful, isn't it? Today was like watching your toy poodle in a parkscrap with a Staffordshire Pit Bull Terrier. After we'd yapped and nipped at Blackburn, they simply picked us up in those jaws and shook us about.

Okay, it was a great start but with a similar synchronicity to the Bournemouth game with Sharp doing all the grown up work and setting up one of the nippers, you just knew that we'd never score again and were likely to fuck things up. Really pleased to see Brewster get his first Blades league goal after thirty odd fucking appearances but after that he was just his usual, abject, shit-value-for-a-lot-of-money self. Shoutbox practically jizzed itself onto empty bollocks territory when it went in and yeah, it was a great finish, but the next forty minutes of creeping submission told us all we needed to know. United are, and remain not even good enough for this league, let alone a team who suffered a 7-0 bum-trunking last time out. Predictably, Snr Brereton-Diaz-de-la-Santiago-y-con-carne proved a reyt fucking handful, despite Bash being practically the only player we own who could deal with him. But Blackburn, like most teams, showed no fear for us. Sure, they're one down to an early straight right, but here you go, motherfucker ... have that ... that ... and THAT. It was like watching Bruno take on Tyson again. The big daft cunt had landed a few early smacks on the insane, neckless lunatic from Catskill, but you could see, 'Arry, that the only scared one was Frank, because all it did was make Tyson think, 'cheeky cunt', and before you know it, Bruno's got his back to the ropes with Tyson landing sickening punch after sickening punch with no response, hoping the ref will step in, wave his arms and remove his gumshield before Tyson hits him so fucking hard he shits his own eyeballs out.

We were bound to lose, weren't we? Keep saying it, but we've been found badly out, shipping players as a squad who save for a rare exception, will definitely struggle even next year if we get relegated. I don't really think we ever deserved to be in the Premiership to be honest, given the past season and a half has shown us that the rump of the squad individually have no redeeming footballing assets. Olsen is no way an international keeper, Bogle has nothing to add to the game, Egan is a pale shadow of the moderately decent centre back we once admired, Stevens is finished at Championship level, Norwood and Fleck are dismally easy to play against and get the better of and are progressively getting worse as footballers, Osborn - despite kind words and hopes - is pretty ineffective all over the pitch, Brewster has proven to be possibly the biggest and worst signing ever with nothing to show which can save his name or credibility (and that goal may be the only league goal he scores this season), see also Berge who is an injury-prone flop, Burke is a joke as a professional footballer, McBurnie another dismal failure in red and white, Freeman ... who?, Mousset a fucking strap-hanging liability, Baldock is fading fast into the wallpaper of dross ... 20/1 Bar. The only redeeming factors are Ndaiye and MGW who even then, overplay things but at least try and the evergreen Chris Basham who is head and shoulders above everyone else in terms of footballing nous and vision and could be still playing in the top flight. Billy and Didsy are triers, but are shot to bits now and everything else stinks the temple of Bramall Lane out. Sure, we've been in crisis before but the last slump was at least gradual, like a non-specific urethritis. One minute you're pounding a grim old hound from Batemoor and taking shit from your mates in the pub the next day, but it's some weeks before you are pissing razorblades and your bulb looks like a Pudsey nose, and you have to have something unpleasant shoved down your angry old meatus. This collapse is more like herpes ... you can almost feel it at work as you are drunkenly hammering away at said lady's undermeats. What the fuck am I fucking going on about? Yeah, here it is. We are fucked, and this time we know it. Last time it was like, 'Hey, how come we ended up eleventh in the third division? How did that happen?' It was like, it happened so predictably and gradually it hurt, but not as much. Watching this shower of useless jizzlobbers its now clear that last season was just the start ... and it won't finish until their contracts run out and they all leave Bramall Lane in a fucking coach going the other way out of the gates with the same crowds cheering and chucking beer like May two years ago. In fact they might just get carried OUT of BDTBL and placed on the coach and showered with bottles of warm, acrid pubdrinkers' piss.

Kevin McCabe, woeful shitcunt that he was, must be laughing himself shitless at us. And in truth, I don't blame him.

Olsen 3/10: Getting worse and worse by each game. He is basically Steve Simonsen with blonde hair. No, hold that. He's Lee Baxter. There. I said it.
Bogle 3/10: Some fleeting interactions but has declined in confidence and ability since the Fulham away injury
Egan 3.5/10: Another former legend now who is simply not delivering
Basham 6.5/10: Good on and off the ball and key interceptor in moments of crisis. But was to blame for Cameron Diaz's goal
Stevens 1/10: Not even at the game today. I am deeply saddened by this bloke's collapse in credibility. He was such a good player for us at one time
Norwood 3.5/10: He's still woefully exposed and overborne by any opposition. One or two long punts today but generally his performance can be summed up as horseshit with hay in it
Fleck 1/10: Fucking dreadful
MGW 5.5/10: He grafts but it seems like he is on another FIFA level to everyone else, so it looks like he is on 'Semi-Pro' whilst the team is on 'Arse'
Osborn 3.5/10: The usual. Runs about, achieves nothing.
Brewster 3/10: Two full marks for his finish and goal
Sharp 5/10; The only player who is still committed to United, it seems. Worked hard for the goal

Mousset 1/10: About as useful as tits on a snake
Ndaiye 2/10: No effect
Baldock 3/10: No effect

We are in trouble, Bladesmen. Have been for some time and Slav isn't the cause. We won't be a credible, match winning side until the majority of these wasters have been farmed out, bought out or their shitty contracts expire. And they won't see a queue at the door to take them on or sign our legion of duds too. Want someone to blame? He's just taken over at Middlesbrough.

pommpey
Enjoyed the post match recollections but did you have to get onto the anti football?……just leave it out next time.
 
Got to give credit to Blackburn. The result wasn't only because we were shit.
 
Well, we all fell for it, didn't we?

Premier League "riches" but the club has no more money now than it had three years ago. What riches there were went straight into the deep pockets of the players and their assorted entourages, as they do at every club which gets promoted.

Looks like we ended up following the Huddersfield example and a lot of us need to act with a lot more humility the next time we have a few moments of fleeting success. God only knows why we thought it would last.

The one hope is that half a dozen of the current squad end up with TS postcodes in January.
 
Absolutely nailed it fella.
Its no surprise that we're finding there's players in that team that in addition to being completely lazy and inept, worryingly really don't seem to care anymore. Whatever system SJ is trying to get this team to play just seems to be unable to be implemented. Either through the fact he's dealing with idiots or whether some players just won't adapt. We're in for a rocky ride up to January unfortunately, but I suppose that'll be when we find out whether this club has any ambition left.
 
Lovely use of metaphors, I like a good metaphor. I used to like a good graph before GiraffeBlade moved upstairs ‘t big stand.

Got to agree its Wilders fault (just as much as promotion was to his credit) we are where we are, in the shit squad wise. He had the backing, fans, money etc to succeed but he didn’t have it in him and in the end he did what they all do, looked after numero uno and left us deep in shit.

Changing the manager is not the solution (maybe changing his approach might help) but he still has the same fizzled out group of players. It will cost us January’s budget and a few more to pay him off and we will still have the same broken tools to work with. It’s like changing the steering wheel to fix a blown head gasket.

So, what is the solution? Credit to the Prince he crowbarred McCabe out of the club but he’s no mIsiah and his own credit is spent now. Staying on as owner and United World visionary is like playing Fleck and Norwood as our midfield engine for the rest of the season and expecting a top six finish.

In the real world of modern football the only solution is a buyout with wealthy new owners and even that isn’t a guarantee (look at pigs). Sheffield is a failed city with one too many professional football teams to support. Investors don’t want to invest and players don’t want to move to a failing city or a club that keeps trying to buck against the wage structure of football on the pretence of morality. You either shit or get off the pot, that’s what football is now.
Don't you mean Grafikus? You have probably puzzled a poster who has yet to post anything!
 

Is Slav our new Bryan Robson? I wonder if we’ll amass more points than we did for last season? at this rate it’s anyone’s guess!
 

All advertisments are hidden for logged in members, why not log in/register?

All advertisments are hidden for logged in members, why not log in/register?

Back
Top Bottom