Most inept Blades performance you've seen

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Three games stick in my mind.

0-1 at home to Walsall (1981?) when we were relegated to Division 4 for the first time in our history. After 89 minutes it was 0-0. Neither team had looked like scoring the whole game. We only needed to get a draw to stay up and send Walsall down. On 89 minutes Walsall get a penalty and score. We are down. Then in added time we get a penalty at Kop end. If we score, we stay up. Don Givens (on Loan) takes the pen and hits it over the bar. We are relegated!
0-3 (or was it 1-3?) at home to Port Vale, crowd 9,000, in Championship (or was it called first division then?). 1999. Adrian Heath's last game as manager. Dire!
0-1 at home to Burton L3 during Adkins season. The most inept display I have ever seen from a United side - more inept I think than the Walsall game above!. No organisation, no one seemed to know where they were playing or what their role was and no motivation whatsoever.
0-1 Walsall - Penalty taker John Matthews turned away, as did most of the side. Don Givens stepped up and took it, but didn't hit it over the bar. It was along the ground and so badly hit, the goalkeeper dived and had to wait for the ball to arrive.
 
Far too many to choose from in the last few years alone.

But I fucking hated that pathetic defeat at home to Clough's Burton. Can't believe that was only 20 months ago.
 
Givens penalty was saved by Ron Green
Funny how memory plays tricks! I bow to your superior memory silent. I also remember I was stood behind the dugout in the old John Street Stand. Martin Peters was the Manager and when Givens took the kick he had turned round to face us as he could not bear to watch.
 
Yep, was gonna cite this one. Left early to go to that chip shop behind the stand.

Remember Jonathan Forte getting pelters if memory serves correctly!

Another that sticks in the mind was that return play off leg at fucking Yeovil.

“We went to play it tight and hopefully snatch one on the break”, said the out of his depth caretaker manager.
 
Bury away for me too ,Adkins lost every little bit of respect I had for him from the minute I saw the team sheet
Long
Brayford Edgar-McEveley -Basham-calvert lewin-campell ryce-Hammond Reed-Adams-Baxter.
Left Sharp ,Flynn ,Coutts and Done on the bench.
Clueless utter utter shit ,never been so pissed off and fed up in all my years watching Utd ,even worse than Weirs Hartlepool 1-0 home defeat.
 
Many a game under SemiPro. One of them much ignored by the ‘shouldnt have been sacked after two games’ apologists for the usesless numpty.

Hartlepool away, league cup, midweek before the QPR game. Lost 2-0. Lucky to get nil. Didn’t string two elpitons together. Not a single shot at goal.
 
Bury away for me too ,Adkins lost every little bit of respect I had for him from the minute I saw the team sheet
Long
Brayford Edgar-McEveley -Basham-calvert lewin-campell ryce-Hammond Reed-Adams-Baxter.
Left Sharp ,Flynn ,Coutts and Done on the bench.
Clueless utter utter shit ,never been so pissed off and fed up in all my years watching Utd ,even worse than Weirs Hartlepool 1-0 home defeat.
You know it’s bad when Longs performance saved us from a real hammering. The dogs abuse a soaking wet Adkins received was worth stopping until the end to see. In fact it was the highlight
 
Last game under adkins at home to cunthorpe.
The walk of shame game.
A low ebb around the future of us as a club.
5 days later in Walked our saviour Jesus Chris.
 
You know it’s bad when Longs performance saved us from a real hammering. The dogs abuse a soaking wet Adkins received was worth stopping until the end to see. In fact it was the highlight
Our walk back to the car was mainly 'what a load of shit ' Adkins is a clueless twat' '9 out of that team should never play for us again' 'what a waste of time and money'. Then in the car ' what time we meeting for Rochdale' :rolleyes:
 
THE Port Vale game.

Which one?

The worst performance I ever witnessed against Port Vale was on 27 December 1983 at Vale Park. We were high flying and looking good for promotion. They were bottom of the league and I think had only won about 2 matches all season. We were awful that day. Nothing went right and we deservedly lost 2-0. If we were still playing now I doubt we'd have troubled the score sheet.

However, poor as that performance was I think it wasn't quite as bad as the one at Orient in an evening fixture earlier in the same season. We again lost 2-0, but there aren't words in the English language to adequately describe how truly appalling we were. It was so bad that if Hammond had been sent back in time and been on the same pitch, he would have looked like Pele.
 
Which one?

The worst performance I ever witnessed against Port Vale was on 27 December 1983 at Vale Park. We were high flying and looking good for promotion. They were bottom of the league and I think had only won about 2 matches all season. We were awful that day. Nothing went right and we deservedly lost 2-0. If we were still playing now I doubt we'd have troubled the score sheet.

However, poor as that performance was I think it wasn't quite as bad as the one at Orient in an evening fixture earlier in the same season. We again lost 2-0, but there aren't words in the English language to adequately describe how truly appalling we were.
I think he's referring to the Adrian Heath game.
 
Michael Bridges absolutely tore us apart. It was one of the best striker performances I have seen, except for King Leon's of course.
whatever happened to him.
I think it was him who missed the pen ,NIal Quin won everything in the air.
 



Most inept?........can't remember, there have been a few.

In 50 years watching United, I have left early just 3 times - in the 80's from memory when we had some pretty awful performances, so 'ill pick one from then but no idea who or when exactly.

UTB
 
Which one?

The worst performance I ever witnessed against Port Vale was on 27 December 1983 at Vale Park. We were high flying and looking good for promotion. They were bottom of the league and I think had only won about 2 matches all season. We were awful that day. Nothing went right and we deservedly lost 2-0. If we were still playing now I doubt we'd have troubled the score sheet.

However, poor as that performance was I think it wasn't quite as bad as the one at Orient in an evening fixture earlier in the same season. We again lost 2-0, but there aren't words in the English language to adequately describe how truly appalling we were. It was so bad that if Hammond had been sent back in time and been on the same pitch, he would have looked like Pele.

I think he's referring to the Adrian Heath game.
 
Bury away for me too ,Adkins lost every little bit of respect I had for him from the minute I saw the team sheet
Long
Brayford Edgar-McEveley -Basham-calvert lewin-campell ryce-Hammond Reed-Adams-Baxter.
Left Sharp ,Flynn ,Coutts and Done on the bench.
Clueless utter utter shit ,never been so pissed off and fed up in all my years watching Utd ,even worse than Weirs Hartlepool 1-0 home defeat.
This
 
For me, a game that sticks out was when we played Coventry at home on Boxing Day, either 1992 or 1993. We lost 0-3 and it was truly awful. When that Bassett side played well, it was exciting and effective but when they didn't play well it could be awful. We couldn't string two 'hoofs' (for Pinchy ) together and it's the only time I've left a game more than a few minutes early, on 66 minutes after they scored their 3rd to be exact

Hah, I remember that one. We concluded the team must be still hungover, no other explanation for it. Compared with some of the other games mentioned though, I don't remember being too depressed as with Bassett's sides (until the end, at any rate) you expected them to be back on it next week.

An honourable mention from me for the two 'relegation playoff' games against Bristol City in 1988. I was a student in Bristol at the time and went along to Ashton Gate, we were fucking terrible, but the performance there was actually slightly better than the one at home where Paul Williams treated us to the miss of the century.
 
Many a game under SemiPro. One of them much ignored by the ‘shouldnt have been sacked after two games’ apologists for the usesless numpty.

Hartlepool away, league cup, midweek before the QPR game. Lost 2-0. Lucky to get nil. Didn’t string two elpitons together. Not a single shot at goal.
Away at Blackpool where we played a style that seemed to actually hate the ball.

Mate and I decided our tactics were based on rugby - playing for throw-ins and free kicks in the last third and an absolute desire to get rid of the ball so we could get back to tackling and wrestling. Absolute shit.
 
Port Vale and Kozluks cross, there's lots of things that have made me laugh in football over the years but Kozluks cross v's Vale and Pembertons somersault "throw in" gone wrong are right at the very top of the list.
 
Supporting since 1959 so there have been a few!! Standouts - FA Cup defeat to Mansfield 2-1 away in 1969. Massive Blades following (standing of course) rammed in to one end of the ground only to get beaten and running the gauntlet of home fans on the way. Carlisle away in the FA Cup - lost 2-1 in 1973 - great day out with 4 of us in an 850 cc Hillman Imp making the round trip of over 300 miles ruined by 90 minutes of crap from the Blades. Similar story in FA Cup in 1979 - losing 2-0 to Grimsby at Blundell Park - again a massive show by Blades fans - leaving disappointed of course!! The Oldham 5-0 in early 1988 as others have mentioned but only a month later we lost at home to Shrewsbury 1-0. I rushed down from Jessops after visiting my wife and my new son (now a season ticket holder with me) only to watch 90 minutes of awful football. A crowd of 8,227 watched that. I didn't go for the rest of the season or the season after. More recently the Shrewsbury match losing 4-2 after going a goal up. Just an abysmal, spineless performance. The final one for me was the Adkins finale - the defeat to Scunthorpe where Adkins put two fingers up to the fans by playing a midfield of Coutts (the old one), Hammond and Woolford. All three subbed by the 70th minute and then the awful apathetic trudge to get away from the ground before the infamous 'lap of appreciation' to a handful of fans. Could hardly be bothered to boo!! You can guess why I have been enjoying the last 15 or 16 months! I couldn't get to the Southend match thankfully! Have never left before the end though!
 
Games under Adkins and Weir were quite dire but they'd have to go some to match the ineptness showed by the team in 80/81 ... we went down the fourth division for a reason, we were awful that season. A culmination of three years of Happy Harry's work at the Lane.
 
Away at Blackpool where we played a style that seemed to actually hate the ball.

Mate and I decided our tactics were based on rugby - playing for throw-ins and free kicks in the last third and an absolute desire to get rid of the ball so we could get back to tackling and wrestling. Absolute shit.
Jonas Wirmola's last stand that. Should have been Bassett's as well.
 
Oxford 4 United 1 1996. One of the few games Paul Parker played for us.
 
Gillingham 4 - 0 Blades. So much optimism ahead of a new season with a manager who up until that point had an excellent League One record, and all smashed to pieces within 90 minutes.
Absolutely agree. I had a mate who worked behind the scenes at Reading, he warned me that we had dropped a right ricket going for Adkins, after that 90 mins, I Just knew he had it bang on.
 



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