Michael Appleton

[SouthEssexBlade]

The only thing I would say in his potential defence is as you say, if he did take the job here, it would obviously be for football reasons.

Let's be honest. If he took the Blades job it's because he's got nothing else on offer.

 

[Jim Chimmerney]

Let's be honest. If he took the Blades job it's because he's got nothing else on offer.

Keep saying it, despite all, it's a fantastic opportunity for someone.

 

[Grecian2000]

Well he's been interviwed. Official transcript below:

KM. Sit down Michael, nice to meet you at last.
MA. Thanks, who are you again?
KM. I’m the owner of Sheffield United and their biggest fan. No-one cares more about this great club than I do. This is my technical consultant Dave Harry Bertie. What made you apply for this wonderful opportunity?
MA. I’m up to ‘S’ on my list of clubs. If we can get on with this I’m due at Tranmere this afternoon.
KM. No worries dude, we’ll crack on.
DB. Do you know who was manager of the club that scored the first ever Premier League goal?
MA. Errr, no not really.
DB. You’re not helping yourself here son.
KM. Well aside from that, how did you find working under the financial restraints imposed at Fratton Park.
MA. No problem at all. The milk hadn’t even run out before I did.
KM. Good lad. You’ll have to take your tea black here I’m afraid. Haven’t had milk since Micky Bladey Blade poured the last pint over Shane Lowry.
MA. No worries. I’ve got a flask now. Keeps me going for the full length of tenure these days.
DB. Do you remember Dickie Guy saving Peter Lorimers penalty?
MA. Who’s Peter Lorimer?
DB. When’s Wally Downes due in?
KM. Ok Dave, let’s keep this moving or we’ll have to buy another coffee between us and I had to copper up for this one. Well Michael, I want to run a couple of scenarios by you and see if we can agree on a strategy moving forward, perhaps synergizing our income streams and achieve our ultimate goal, getting my money ba . . . sorry I mean getting us back where we belong.
MA. What? I thought we might talk football.
KM. We like to get our priorities straight here first. We need to keep the finances in check and not let things like winning football matches detract us from the master plan.
MA. Ok, I tend to only look at the next match usually. You never know who’ll you be managing by then.
DB. Are you familiar with the work of Charles Hughes?
MA. Not really, wasn’t he Onslow in that BBC thingy?
DB. Fuck me, how old are you?
KM. Come on Dave, let’s stick to the here and now. OK Michael, scenario one. You’re lying top of the league going into January and an offer comes in for your top scorer. Do you sell and maximize those lovely profits and get someone cheaper, preferably free or on loan, or do you keep hold of the lazy arse, good for nothing? Take your time.
MA. Well I suppose it depends on how serious we are about getting promoted. I’d think keeping him would be best.
KM. Errr, we’re talking a huge amount of profit here, and most of his goals are penalties. Perhaps you can loan in a penalty taker if you like. Now shall we try again?
MA. I don’t want to ruin the promotion push.
KM. (strange “sucking in of teeth” type sound)
MA. But all in all I’d take the cash and re-invest . . .
KM. (louder sucking of teeth)
MA. Err, get by with a few loans.
KM. A few?
MA. One? Yes, one loan.
KM. Good lad. I like the cut of your jib.
DB. How are you at answering phones?
MA. What?
KM. Never mind that. Scenario two. We like to showcase our academy players here. What’s your view of using young players in the team.
MA. Well, if they’re good enough then I think they’re old enough. I think it would be good to build a youthful team around them.
KM. Build a team? What about selling them on? Suppose those pesky agents get on the phone, you’re not advocating keeping unhappy players at the club are you? They’ll be a bad influence and won’t be bothered about playing at all you know?
MA. Well, obviously, being under contract and wanting to learn the . . . .
KM. Stop bollocksing around, answer the question.
MA. Err, I suppose I’d sell them if I were forced.
KM. Nobody’s forcing anything other than the peskies. Remember that.
MA. OK, if an agent unsettled them . . .
KM. That’s close enough I reckon. We’d best wrap it up, that spotty is wanting to clear the table.
DB. Hang on your bladesness, I’ve got one last question.
KM. Bloody hell. Go on then.
DB. Did you get the video we sent you?
MA. Yes, watched the whole series, very good, never saw it back in 1990.
DB. Just one question then.
MA. Go ahead although I thought it was to introduce me to the club not a memory test.
DB. Never mind that, just tell me this. Who the fuck was the zone man . . . .

 

[Pinchy]

Brilliant, if rather too close for comfort! I look forward to more from your fly on the wall.

 

[alcoblade]

I can't generally be arsed with long posts but if you're like me, break your rules and read that ^^^^^^

Quality, my son.



UTB

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

Keep saying it, despite all, it's a fantastic opportunity for someone.

Don't really disagree, but having had two horrific jobs since Pompey he's hardly dictating things. He needs a reputation rebuilding job somewhere, anywhere. So why not BDTBL?

 

[Guesty]

Keep saying it, despite all, it's a fantastic opportunity for someone.

Evidence is stacking up to the contrary.

 

[cooperblade]

Appelton is in my opinion the best manager we could get in our situation. With Portsmouth he built a team from scratch and within 3 months got them to the equivalent of 5th if you ignore the points deduction

His monthly wage bill at Portsmouth will have been at least double what he'd have at the Lane next season.

All things considered, I'd say Whittingham did a better job at Portsmouth than Appleton.

 

[Jonboy60]

Appelton is in my opinion the best manager we could get in our situation. With Portsmouth he built a team from scratch and within 3 months got them to the equivalent of 5th if you ignore the points deduction

Even though we beat them, thought they played well at the 'lane'.

 

[Deadbat]

I salute you Grecian2000. That is brilliant. Love the ending! When I did the Hitler video (I actually could make another - there has been enough material from last few weeks!!!) I was going to make reference to the zone man but forgot!

This managerial search is something legends are made of. As someone said a bigger clusterfuck I have not seen and we have seen many at the Lane.

 

[Kev Gee]

Well he's been interviwed. Official transcript below:

KM. Sit down Michael, nice to meet you at last.
MA. Thanks, who are you again?
KM. I’m the owner of Sheffield United and their biggest fan. No-one cares more about this great club than I do. This is my technical consultant Dave Harry Bertie. What made you apply for this wonderful opportunity?
MA. I’m up to ‘S’ on my list of clubs. If we can get on with this I’m due at Tranmere this afternoon.
KM. No worries dude, we’ll crack on.
DB. Do you know who was manager of the club that scored the first ever Premier League goal?
MA. Errr, no not really.
DB. You’re not helping yourself here son.
KM. Well aside from that, how did you find working under the financial restraints imposed at Fratton Park.
MA. No problem at all. The milk hadn’t even run out before I did.
KM. Good lad. You’ll have to take your tea black here I’m afraid. Haven’t had milk since Micky Bladey Blade poured the last pint over Shane Lowry.
MA. No worries. I’ve got a flask now. Keeps me going for the full length of tenure these days.
DB. Do you remember Dickie Guy saving Peter Lorimers penalty?
MA. Who’s Peter Lorimer?
DB. When’s Wally Downes due in?
KM. Ok Dave, let’s keep this moving or we’ll have to buy another coffee between us and I had to copper up for this one. Well Michael, I want to run a couple of scenarios by you and see if we can agree on a strategy moving forward, perhaps synergizing our income streams and achieve our ultimate goal, getting my money ba . . . sorry I mean getting us back where we belong.
MA. What? I thought we might talk football.
KM. We like to get our priorities straight here first. We need to keep the finances in check and not let things like winning football matches detract us from the master plan.
MA. Ok, I tend to only look at the next match usually. You never know who’ll you be managing by then.
DB. Are you familiar with the work of Charles Hughes?
MA. Not really, wasn’t he Onslow in that BBC thingy?
DB. Fuck me, how old are you?
KM. Come on Dave, let’s stick to the here and now. OK Michael, scenario one. You’re lying top of the league going into January and an offer comes in for your top scorer. Do you sell and maximize those lovely profits and get someone cheaper, preferably free or on loan, or do you keep hold of the lazy arse, good for nothing? Take your time.
MA. Well I suppose it depends on how serious we are about getting promoted. I’d think keeping him would be best.
KM. Errr, we’re talking a huge amount of profit here, and most of his goals are penalties. Perhaps you can loan in a penalty taker if you like. Now shall we try again?
MA. I don’t want to ruin the promotion push.
KM. (strange “sucking in of teeth” type sound)
MA. But all in all I’d take the cash and re-invest . . .
KM. (louder sucking of teeth)
MA. Err, get by with a few loans.
KM. A few?
MA. One? Yes, one loan.
KM. Good lad. I like the cut of your jib.
DB. How are you at answering phones?
MA. What?
KM. Never mind that. Scenario two. We like to showcase our academy players here. What’s your view of using young players in the team.
MA. Well, if they’re good enough then I think they’re old enough. I think it would be good to build a youthful team around them.
KM. Build a team? What about selling them on? Suppose those pesky agents get on the phone, you’re not advocating keeping unhappy players at the club are you? They’ll be a bad influence and won’t be bothered about playing at all you know?
MA. Well, obviously, being under contract and wanting to learn the . . . .
KM. Stop bollocksing around, answer the question.
MA. Err, I suppose I’d sell them if I were forced.
KM. Nobody’s forcing anything other than the peskies. Remember that.
MA. OK, if an agent unsettled them . . .
KM. That’s close enough I reckon. We’d best wrap it up, that spotty is wanting to clear the table.
DB. Hang on your bladesness, I’ve got one last question.
KM. Bloody hell. Go on then.
DB. Did you get the video we sent you?
MA. Yes, watched the whole series, very good, never saw it back in 1990.
DB. Just one question then.
MA. Go ahead although I thought it was to introduce me to the club not a memory test.
DB. Never mind that, just tell me this. Who the fuck was the zone man . . . .

Brilliant!

 

[mattbianco1]

Just a thought... Are we being harsh towards Appleton?

Weren't Pompey doing well at the start of the season? He then goes to Blackpool and ends up being poached by Blackburn which is a total disgrace of a club (board wise). Didnt they have 4 managers last year?

Give him time, he may be good.. Sooner have him than Curle, Page or Morgan I think. Not ideal but hey ho

 

[SwissBlade]

Just a thought... Are we being harsh towards Appleton?

Weren't Pompey doing well at the start of the season? He then goes to Blackpool and ends up being poached by Blackburn which is a total disgrace of a club (board wise). Didnt they have 4 managers last year?

Give him time, he may be good.. Sooner have him than Curle, Page or Morgan I think. Not ideal but hey ho

Give him time? I think Blackpool and Pompey both intended to...

 

[Grecian2000]

Just a thought... Are we being harsh towards Appleton?

Weren't Pompey doing well at the start of the season? He then goes to Blackpool and ends up being poached by Blackburn which is a total disgrace of a club (board wise). Didnt they have 4 managers last year?

Give him time, he may be good.. Sooner have him than Curle, Page or Morgan I think. Not ideal but hey ho

I think he gets the stick (and quite rightly in my view) for his spell at Blackpool.

To walk out on Pompey was one thing (and I'm sure he wouldn't be blamed for that) but to walk out on a second club in a matter of weeks is not really acceptable. To do so in favour of a club whose board you describe as "a disgrace" (and I'm in complete agreement there too), shows a very poor lack of judgement, unless that judgement is based upon how much compo he thought he might rack up.

Having done that twice last season, doesn't it make you think he'd be off like a shot should we be doing OK and another club notices?
I want a "long term" plan and a man to carry that out. I don't think Appleton is that man.

PS: All that said, the others all look to be there simply because of their Bladey Bladeness to me.