Make a outlandish prediction for next season

[Grappler]

In a bold move, SUFC hire big bad Billy Whitehurst as new central defender, before every game, Billy walks into the opposition dressing room and says "look lads, all I am saying is if you get past me, and put it in the net, I will be waiting in the tunnel after the game to have a little chat about it with you......"

SUFC go the entire season with a clean sheet, and win the league in top spot.

Milan Manderic sees the "sleeping giant opportunity", and picks up the phone to the Prince.

 

[PandaCola]

Bruce Lee comes to the Lane to take part in a martial arts tournament. He discovers cells full of men imprisoned under the stand. For years, McCabe has been kidnapping drunken men who don't care where they are and used them to keep attendances up. After a furious high kicking showdown, Lee takes charge and we narrowly miss out on automatic.

We get knocked out of the playoffs by Nigel Clough's Chesterfield.

 

[Blade56]

We get knocked out of the playoffs by Nigel Clough's Chesterfield.

Most realistic and frightening so far

 

[Bladesince59]

With Warnock and Morgan in charge, we storm the league, with a record 110 points. New signings include Nick Montgomerey, Steven Quinn and Paddy Kenny. Warnock is subsequently sacked in the close season after a brawl with Jim Phipps.

Perfect

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

pommpey is found to be the secret love-child of McCabe. Pinchy insists that Michael Brown, Nick Montgomery and Nick Blackman are all re-signed and is heard screaming from the kop, 'stoppissinabahtwi'itangerrituptobigmanin'tbox'

More likely, despite all the reports to the contrary, the football gods do indeed find a new more cruel way to snatch away a play-off victory.

 

[Bladebri]

We will one day put men on the moon

 

[Blade56]

We will one day put men on the moon

Hopefully Higdon

 

[x111Josh]

SUFC Sign a good forward, he gets 15 goals pre-christmas and we DON'T sell him.
We bring Calvert-Lewin and some more young lads through to the first team, also DON'T sell them.
Eventually finish the season with the squad we started with, top of the league by 5 points.

I can dream can't I

 

[Blade56]

FIFA and Blatter will be exonerated of all charges of corruption

 

[Blade56]

SUFC Sign a good forward, he gets 15 goals pre-christmas and we DON'T sell him.
We bring Calvert-Lewin and some more young lads through to the first team, also DON'T sell them.
Eventually finish the season with the squad we started with, top of the league by 5 points.

I can dream can't I

I refer you to Bladebri's earlier post

We will one day put men on the moon

 

[RedandWhite]

Get beat by Woking in the 3rd round of the FA Cup, Adkins sacked and relegation looks likely, Until the man of the people, Jurgen Klopp visits England and falls in love with another industrial city of the north, signs, and injects a high tempo pressing game that gets us back to the prem, just guessing.

 

[stringjunior]

All the supporters unite behind the new manager.

That's far too outlandish

 

[Pierre's PC]

Saturday shoutbox will be a haven of brotherly love and mild flirting where people congregate in a safe environment of mutual respect

 

[Trigger Blade]

Harrys game will praise United and Davieblade will post something without mentioning his beloved Rams.

Beat me to it, was going to say the same about Blade 56 with a positive comment about The Blades. I also smiled at him suggesting a bit of fun, not something I've ever really expected from him

 

[Cyprus Blade]

Following a major scandal at FIFA McCabe replaces Sepp Blatter to restore honesty, altruism and sporting principles to the organisation. Meanwhile, the new Sheffield United Manager borrows equipment from Alton Towers to ensure that all first team players are above the required height. Sadly the entire midfield fails and is dismissed. A reshuffled side sees Basham start in goal. Pre-season is a disaster with the Blades losing 8-0 to a Bakewell Sunday School 11.

40 days into the new season Sheffield United sack their newly appointed Manager having lost every match and having failed to score a single goal. In an attempt to break the cycle of poor appointments the Board ask S24SU to put together a temporary management team to take over running the club, but the attempt founders after 580 polls and a complete failure to agree on anything. So Morgan takes over the reins for a historic third caretaker stint and is rewarded by his second McCabe's Golden Ticket, guaranteeing a job with the club for life. He auctions the spare ticket on ebay and buys a yacht from a hard-up Russian oil billionaire. The ticket is bought by Simon Clough who rejoins the club as Chief Scout.

McNulty is once again blamed by the outgoing manager for his early demise and is subsequently sold for £25 worth of Tesco points. United's first black Manager is appointed in early December with the club languishing at the bottom of league one and with a record six players suspended for failing drug tests and a further five suspended for betting on games Louis Reed is made captain as the most senior player available for the final matches of the season. During a three match ban for Reed United, in another first for the club, become the first club to field an entire team of right backs.

As a result of dwindling attendances due to poor results, the club are unable to afford the payments on the new pitch, which is subsequently repossessed. The Football League refuse a request from United that they be allowed to use a pitch made from sand and, in a fit of pique, the Prince withdraws his investment.

The final 6 matches of the season are played at Abbeydale Park. The Blades are relegated on the final day in a 6-1 home defeat to a flamboyant Burton Albion managed by a born again Nigel Clough. Immediately after the game JP tweets that he should never have let BladeTooLong persuade him to mess around with the home kit, even if it does look smart with jeans and flipflops. Meanwhile Chesterfield, Donny and the pigs all get promotion, McCabe is forced to resign from the FIFA presidency following revelations of his attempted bribery of Fleetwood Town and Crewe and Alan Biggs writes in the Star on Sheffield United's need for stability.

There now, after that the season should go swimmingly.

 

[Lord Bos of Eckington.]

We will all

Get beat by Woking in the 3rd round of the FA Cup, Adkins sacked and relegation looks likely, Until the man of the people, Jurgen Klopp visits England and falls in love with another industrial city of the north, signs, and injects a high tempo pressing game that gets us back to the prem, just guessing.

We will all be satisfied , content , positive ,and praising the board , manager and playing staff.

UTB

 

[Patrick Suffaux]

We'll spend 1.5m on a left back and get two injury prone strikers in on loan.

 

[Blade82]

Nigel's 1st signing is billy sharp

 

[kop_blade9]

I predict we will sign a manager in the next week....
Who nobody likes.....
Who plays 2 up front and has 2 big strong centre backs as his first signings.
We score 3 goals and win 3-0 or 3-1 every match and go up as champions.
And still nobody likes the manager......

 

[Bladebri]

Sitwell will heap praise and admiration on Baxter

 

[Bill the Butcher]

blades qualify for Europa through fair play league

 

[pommpey]

Okay. Here's the reality.

In a week or so we will confirm someone like McDermott is our new manager, straight outta fucking nowhere. McCabe will do a press conference with him, declaring it to be a 'new era for Sheffield United' and 'our aim continues to be the fight for automatic promotion to the Championship and Premiership status by 2020'. Murphy will be sold for an undiscosed sum of £250,000 (paid in instalments, only fully paid if we beat Barcelona in the Champions League final by five clear goals from open play in the second half of extra time (on a Wednesday)) and we will sign two Barry Oddnobs (one carrying a long term injury), one from Milwall and one from Torquay United. The pre-season will be uninspiring and pallid with one draw and two losses. First real game will be against Peterborough on Sky and United will field practically the same team as in the second playoff game against Swindon in a modified 4-5-1 with Coutts trying his best to emulate Murphy. We'll end up pegged back in our own half for long stretches but will still endure and emerge with a pleasing 2-1 defeat to which posters on here will laud the new manager and slag anyone off with the age-old 'give him time' hackneyed old bollocks.

Six games in and we will have four points, with one solitary win. We'll be out of the League Cup and 17th. The transfer period will be long shut and most rational minds will be asking 'what has changed?' and 'what was the point in sacking Clough?' There may even be a panic loanee brought in who turns out to be absolutely sloppy-shit and is dropped to disappear without trace. All sorts of midfield shenanighans will be tried which will leave people even looking back with fondness at Alex Notman and Nick Montgomery.

By Christmas we will be two points (but four places) behind the equal-but-behind-on-goal-difference) fourth playoff spot and the 'Sack McDermott' calls will begin. The big hope will be the JTW where all sorts of half arsed promises will be made by the board, resulting in Basham sold and Done wanting out. Brayford will get injured two matches after returning to spend the rest of the season on the physio's table.

JTW will see two more Barry Oddnobs come in. One of them used to be on the books at City, fourteen years ago. There will be rumours of Michael Brown coming back to the Lane. Yes, the 39 year old midfield dynamo will come back to his beloved Bramall Lane to prop up a dismal midfield. He comes back. On loan with an option to buy. He is sent off in his first game, a 3-2 defeat in the FA Cup at Rotherham.

The rest of the season sees us crawl by our fingernails and teeth into the final playoff spot by virtue of Bradford doing their usual end-of-season kamikaze act. In the playoffs (vs Walsall) we will capitulate at the Bescott 2-0 and draw at the Lane 0-0. Chesterfield will beat them in the final.

McDermott sacked on completion

Happy days

pommpey

 

[Blade56]

Following a major scandal at FIFA McCabe replaces Sepp Blatter to restore honesty, altruism and sporting principles to the organisation. Meanwhile, the new Sheffield United Manager borrows equipment from Alton Towers to ensure that all first team players are above the required height. Sadly the entire midfield fails and is dismissed. A reshuffled side sees Basham start in goal. Pre-season is a disaster with the Blades losing 8-0 to a Bakewell Sunday School 11.

40 days into the new season Sheffield United sack their newly appointed Manager having lost every match and having failed to score a single goal. In an attempt to break the cycle of poor appointments the Board ask S24SU to put together a temporary management team to take over running the club, but the attempt founders after 580 polls and a complete failure to agree on anything. So Morgan takes over the reins for a historic third caretaker stint and is rewarded by his second McCabe's Golden Ticket, guaranteeing a job with the club for life. He auctions the spare ticket on ebay and buys a yacht from a hard-up Russian oil billionaire. The ticket is bought by Simon Clough who rejoins the club as Chief Scout.

McNulty is once again blamed by the outgoing manager for his early demise and is subsequently sold for £25 worth of Tesco points. United's first black Manager is appointed in early December with the club languishing at the bottom of league one and with a record six players suspended for failing drug tests and a further five suspended for betting on games Louis Reed is made captain as the most senior player available for the final matches of the season. During a three match ban for Reed United, in another first for the club, become the first club to field an entire team of right backs.

As a result of dwindling attendances due to poor results, the club are unable to afford the payments on the new pitch, which is subsequently repossessed. The Football League refuse a request from United that they be allowed to use a pitch made from sand and, in a fit of pique, the Prince withdraws his investment.

The final 6 matches of the season are played at Abbeydale Park. The Blades are relegated on the final day in a 6-1 home defeat to a flamboyant Burton Albion managed by a born again Nigel Clough. Immediately after the game JP tweets that he should never have let BladeTooLong persuade him to mess around with the home kit, even if it does look smart with jeans and flipflops. Meanwhile Chesterfield, Donny and the pigs all get promotion, McCabe is forced to resign from the FIFA presidency following revelations of his attempted bribery of Fleetwood Town and Crewe and Alan Biggs writes in the Star on Sheffield United's need for stability.

There now, after that the season should go swimmingly.

I said predictions ie things not yet happened not an end of season report CB

 

[georgebernardshaw]

The Lovell Telescope at Jodrell Bank reports first sighting of Simonsen's penalty

 

[Blade56]

Beat me to it, was going to say the same about Blade 56 with a positive comment about The Blades. I also smiled at him suggesting a bit of fun, not something I've ever really expected from him

I think the Blades have been excellent on the pitch and well managed off it. It is only a string off bad luck and institutional hate of us that has left us falling down the leagues and employing a string of failing managers (who were all nice chaps really dogged by misfortune). I'm looking forward to another positive season of edge of the seat attacking exciting football.

There you go Trigger (yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr little Twat )
I made your wish come true

 

[MiserableBlader]

Following a major scandal at FIFA McCabe replaces Sepp Blatter to restore honesty, altruism and sporting principles to the organisation.

LOL!

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

I predict we will sign a manager in the next week....
Who nobody likes.....
Who plays 2 up front and has 2 big strong centre backs as his first signings.
We score 3 goals and win 3-0 or 3-1 every match and go up as champions.
And still nobody likes the manager......

As a grumpy bastard that sounds like heaven, I'd need sumat to keep me posting.

 

[bladeinspaceandtime]

Pinchy's head becomes so large it collapses under it's own weight and forms a singularity from his own self importance. The benefit is that nobody has to read his claptrap anymore.

 

[blade.i.am]

The fax machine starts working

 

[super_pig]

Following a major scandal at FIFA McCabe replaces Sepp Blatter to restore honesty, altruism and sporting principles to the organisation. Meanwhile, the new Sheffield United Manager borrows equipment from Alton Towers to ensure that all first team players are above the required height. Sadly the entire midfield fails and is dismissed. A reshuffled side sees Basham start in goal. Pre-season is a disaster with the Blades losing 8-0 to a Bakewell Sunday School 11.

40 days into the new season Sheffield United sack their newly appointed Manager having lost every match and having failed to score a single goal. In an attempt to break the cycle of poor appointments the Board ask S24SU to put together a temporary management team to take over running the club, but the attempt founders after 580 polls and a complete failure to agree on anything. So Morgan takes over the reins for a historic third caretaker stint and is rewarded by his second McCabe's Golden Ticket, guaranteeing a job with the club for life. He auctions the spare ticket on ebay and buys a yacht from a hard-up Russian oil billionaire. The ticket is bought by Simon Clough who rejoins the club as Chief Scout.

McNulty is once again blamed by the outgoing manager for his early demise and is subsequently sold for £25 worth of Tesco points. United's first black Manager is appointed in early December with the club languishing at the bottom of league one and with a record six players suspended for failing drug tests and a further five suspended for betting on games Louis Reed is made captain as the most senior player available for the final matches of the season. During a three match ban for Reed United, in another first for the club, become the first club to field an entire team of right backs.

As a result of dwindling attendances due to poor results, the club are unable to afford the payments on the new pitch, which is subsequently repossessed. The Football League refuse a request from United that they be allowed to use a pitch made from sand and, in a fit of pique, the Prince withdraws his investment.

The final 6 matches of the season are played at Abbeydale Park. The Blades are relegated on the final day in a 6-1 home defeat to a flamboyant Burton Albion managed by a born again Nigel Clough. Immediately after the game JP tweets that he should never have let BladeTooLong persuade him to mess around with the home kit, even if it does look smart with jeans and flipflops. Meanwhile Chesterfield, Donny and the pigs all get promotion, McCabe is forced to resign from the FIFA presidency following revelations of his attempted bribery of Fleetwood Town and Crewe and Alan Biggs writes in the Star on Sheffield United's need for stability.

There now, after that the season should go swimmingly.

outstanding.