Sean the Blade
Member
The six comrades sprinted to the interchange. Gimli Bird jumped aboard the bus and flashed his pass, he sobbed “It’s such an ‘onour ter ave this bus pass, it wer presented ter me by Julie at the transport executive office in’t Tarn, I just wish me mam wer there ter see it…”
“Gerra move on!” Yelled the driver, Gandalf McCabe flashed his ‘Travelmaster’ ticket, Leg-O-Less Robbins and Frodo Blackwell clubbed together for Howard’s fare, Borrowme A-Player just said “D’you know who I am?” and walked to the rear of the bus without waiting for an answer.
As the bus crawled in front of the city centre traffic, often bringing it to a choking standstill, Frodo noticed a yellow Gee Wizz electric car following them, he brought it to Gandalf’s attention “Alas Frodo, his is a tale of woe, the tale of ‘Gotcha’. He too was once a Hobbit, considered by many to be a real ‘Dee-Dar’, his name was Clegg. But he became consumed by the yearning for power, abandoned all his principles and all that was good. He seeks the ring for the power he believes it holds, he yearns to rebuild the two towers, the Tinsley Towers, so that he may lord over Mount Forgemasters and douse the fire within it” This speech steeled Frodo’s resolve, they must reach the ring before Gotcha if they were to save the games and Sheffield as a whole.
The bus set the party down at the bottom of Burman road in Wath, Robbins’ keen elvin eyes scanned the streets for danger whilst Gandalf and Borrowme studied the A-Z for directions. Howard and Frodo nervously asked Gimli about the locals “Dun’t worry abaht them lads, the White Bear clan rarely travel further south than the skate park on’t rec’ and that’s only when they’ve been chucked aht er’t Wetherspoons and they’ve ad ter buy some White Lightenin’ and need somewhere ter drink it, we should be safe ‘ere”
“Everyone” said Gandalf “It is getting late, we need food and shelter, I suggest we use the public house across the road, The Cross Keys”. Unfortunately a Ventura call centre shift had just finished and the tide of driving lunacy hindered their progress. Twice Gimli had to be rescued by a quick witted Leg-O-Less as young girls drove past whilst applying make-up, lighting a cigarette and speaking on their mobile, all at once. Tired and dishevelled they fell through the bar room door. “Landlord” Gandalf addressed the tennant “We seek food, drink and shelter, can you oblige us, this band of travellers?”
“Tha wot? Travellers? Tha not Gypsies ah tha?” Gimli placed a hand on Gandalf’s arm “Allow me” he turned to the landlord “Nah then lad, we’ve missed us bus from’t club trip, so we’re stuck ‘ere, can tha gi us some snap and watter, and can we kip on thi back rests till we can gerra bus in’t mornin’… We’ll pay thi” the landlord’s face brightened “Cooourse tha can lads” he said as he handed the now weeping Gimli a bar towel to mop his welling tears.
The fellowship sat at their table, warmed by the three bar fire, when in the distance they heard the sound of out of tune male voices “Oh no!” said Robbins “It’s the Rugby Club outing!”
“My word! That means bawdy, ribald, foul mouthed songs, men dressed as unconvincing women, showing their back sides everywhere!”
“That’s okay” assured Gimli “That sort of behaviour is only illegal and unacceptable if you’re a FOOTBALL FAN”
“We can’t let the little ones endure that, we must run!” panicked Gandalf “We can’t out run them” replied Howard. A lone figure stood “I’ll stay”
“You can’t Borrowme we may need you”
“You need me NOW, I can hold them off with a few verses of Abide With Me, from the cup final, it won’t give you long, but it’ll give you a start” the remaining five all looked at each other, and then burst through the various exits.
Frodo and Howard ran to the car park “Quick Frodo, the mini-moto, I’ll give you a backie” The bike fired up and shot down Doncaster Road only to run out of fuel at the Manvers Monument, the pair hid in the unkempt grass. There, in the moonlight, Frodo saw a golden glow…
Under the Tinsley viaduct Gotcha was laying ivory block upon Ivory block, his ivory towers were underway.
“Gerra move on!” Yelled the driver, Gandalf McCabe flashed his ‘Travelmaster’ ticket, Leg-O-Less Robbins and Frodo Blackwell clubbed together for Howard’s fare, Borrowme A-Player just said “D’you know who I am?” and walked to the rear of the bus without waiting for an answer.
As the bus crawled in front of the city centre traffic, often bringing it to a choking standstill, Frodo noticed a yellow Gee Wizz electric car following them, he brought it to Gandalf’s attention “Alas Frodo, his is a tale of woe, the tale of ‘Gotcha’. He too was once a Hobbit, considered by many to be a real ‘Dee-Dar’, his name was Clegg. But he became consumed by the yearning for power, abandoned all his principles and all that was good. He seeks the ring for the power he believes it holds, he yearns to rebuild the two towers, the Tinsley Towers, so that he may lord over Mount Forgemasters and douse the fire within it” This speech steeled Frodo’s resolve, they must reach the ring before Gotcha if they were to save the games and Sheffield as a whole.
The bus set the party down at the bottom of Burman road in Wath, Robbins’ keen elvin eyes scanned the streets for danger whilst Gandalf and Borrowme studied the A-Z for directions. Howard and Frodo nervously asked Gimli about the locals “Dun’t worry abaht them lads, the White Bear clan rarely travel further south than the skate park on’t rec’ and that’s only when they’ve been chucked aht er’t Wetherspoons and they’ve ad ter buy some White Lightenin’ and need somewhere ter drink it, we should be safe ‘ere”
“Everyone” said Gandalf “It is getting late, we need food and shelter, I suggest we use the public house across the road, The Cross Keys”. Unfortunately a Ventura call centre shift had just finished and the tide of driving lunacy hindered their progress. Twice Gimli had to be rescued by a quick witted Leg-O-Less as young girls drove past whilst applying make-up, lighting a cigarette and speaking on their mobile, all at once. Tired and dishevelled they fell through the bar room door. “Landlord” Gandalf addressed the tennant “We seek food, drink and shelter, can you oblige us, this band of travellers?”
“Tha wot? Travellers? Tha not Gypsies ah tha?” Gimli placed a hand on Gandalf’s arm “Allow me” he turned to the landlord “Nah then lad, we’ve missed us bus from’t club trip, so we’re stuck ‘ere, can tha gi us some snap and watter, and can we kip on thi back rests till we can gerra bus in’t mornin’… We’ll pay thi” the landlord’s face brightened “Cooourse tha can lads” he said as he handed the now weeping Gimli a bar towel to mop his welling tears.
The fellowship sat at their table, warmed by the three bar fire, when in the distance they heard the sound of out of tune male voices “Oh no!” said Robbins “It’s the Rugby Club outing!”
“My word! That means bawdy, ribald, foul mouthed songs, men dressed as unconvincing women, showing their back sides everywhere!”
“That’s okay” assured Gimli “That sort of behaviour is only illegal and unacceptable if you’re a FOOTBALL FAN”
“We can’t let the little ones endure that, we must run!” panicked Gandalf “We can’t out run them” replied Howard. A lone figure stood “I’ll stay”
“You can’t Borrowme we may need you”
“You need me NOW, I can hold them off with a few verses of Abide With Me, from the cup final, it won’t give you long, but it’ll give you a start” the remaining five all looked at each other, and then burst through the various exits.
Frodo and Howard ran to the car park “Quick Frodo, the mini-moto, I’ll give you a backie” The bike fired up and shot down Doncaster Road only to run out of fuel at the Manvers Monument, the pair hid in the unkempt grass. There, in the moonlight, Frodo saw a golden glow…
Under the Tinsley viaduct Gotcha was laying ivory block upon Ivory block, his ivory towers were underway.
