Joke time to lighten the mood

[Sothall_Blade]

Q. Why did Nigel Adkins cross the road?
A. He needed to talk to Paul Coutts


Q. How many Paul Coutts does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One Nigel Adkins. Coutts ain't changing a damn thing


Nigel Adkins walks into a bar.
The barman says "Why the long face?"
Adkins says "because Paul Coutts won't do what I tell him to do"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The Englishman says "I want to play 3-5-2 with you on the right side of the midfield three".
The Scotsman says "Get tee F*** you were Sassenach twat. Nah F••• off"
So the Englishman leaves..

 

[Whiston Blade]

Another one..

Sheffield United FC

 

[Sothall_Blade]

Q. What is Nigel Adkins' favourite film?
A. Burn after Reading

 

[Tyler Durden]

Q: What do you get if you cross Neill Collins and Martin Woolford?

A: Sheffield United are dying before my very eyes and everything I love about the club is becoming a distant memory


I, er, never was very good at telling jokes

 

[Top Cat]

Been meaning to ask you for a while. Why do you have a picture of the talentless Michael Gira as your avatar?

 

[boo radley]

Just don't get em!

 

[Tyler Durden]

Been meaning to ask you for a while. Why do you have a picture of the talentless Michael Gira as your avatar?

Because Swans are probably the finest band in all existence and I would give my left bollock to have a voice like his.

 

[Top Cat]

I've been playing guitar for a few years. I understand music, I like to think.

Can you explain this to me. Why is he using a capo? And why does the bass player, despite all the drama, play nothing but a bottom G on the bass?



Pretentious self indulgent 10 minutes of crap.

Just my opinion

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

I've been playing guitar for a few years. I understand music, I like to think.

Can you explain this to me. Why is he using a capo? And why does the bass player, despite all the drama, play nothing but a bottom G on the bass?



Pretentious self indulgent 10 minutes of crap.

Just my opinion

Is their manager called Nigel?

 

[SwissBlade]

Is their manager called Nigel?

Its the music equivalent of sideways negative football

 

[Tyler Durden]

I've been playing guitar for a few years. I understand music, I like to think.

Can you explain this to me. Why is he using a capo? And why does the bass player, despite all the drama, play nothing but a bottom G on the bass?



Pretentious self indulgent 10 minutes of crap.

Just my opinion

This upsets you doesn't it.

 

[Treeton Blade]

I asked Adkins why he crossed the road,
his reply...

"We are well aware we need to be crossing the road, and everyone is endeavouring hard behind the scenes to ensure that happens.

As I have alluded to, we have shown grit, resiliance, and endeavour to get us where we need to be ( the other side)

When the right time to cross the road is identified, we will cross, theres no point crossing until the time is right, and we can improve the crossing".

 

[Doormat]

I've been playing guitar for a few years. I understand music, I like to think.

Can you explain this to me. Why is he using a capo? And why does the bass player, despite all the drama, play nothing but a bottom G on the bass?



Pretentious self indulgent 10 minutes of crap.

Just my opinion

maybe he has it tuned down one full tone?

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Because Swans are probably the finest band in all existence and I would give my left bollock to have a voice like his.

Give 'em both and you could have a voice like the Bee Gees!!

 

[Grappler]

maybe he has it tuned down one full tone?

If you tuned a guitar down a full tone and then put a capo on, wouldn't that just bring it back up to the same tone that you started with?

 

[sitwell]

I asked Adkins why he crossed the road,
his reply...

"We are well aware we need to be crossing the road, and everyone is endeavouring hard behind the scenes to ensure that happens.

As I have alluded to, we have shown grit, resiliance, and endeavour to get us where we need to be ( the other side)

When the right time to cross the road is identified, we will cross, theres no point crossing until the time is right, and we can improve the crossing".

Ask him why he crossed it 15 times before he went further up the road.

 

[Caveblade]

Listen, the games simple we need to be on one side of the road before getting to the other side of the road. We showed grit and resilience but tonight for whatever reason we didn't get to the other side. They are a good bunch of lads and we will keep working on our green cross code in training and we are all pulling together to make sure next time out we get from one side to the other. blah blah, blah blah!

 

[sitwell]

Listen, the games simple we need to be on one side of the road before getting to the other side of the road. We showed grit and resilience but tonight for whatever reason we didn't get to the other side. They are a good bunch of lads and we will keep working on our green cross code in training and we are all pulling together to make sure next time out we get from one side to the other. blah blah, blah blah!

No endeavour ??

 

[Pierre's PC]

Is Tyler Durden avatar now officially more offensive than sitwell ?

I need to know who to be offended by!

 

[Tyler Durden]

Is Tyler Durden avatar now officially more offensive than sitwell ?

I need to know who to be offended by!

Pick me! Pick me!

 

[Blade56]

Pick me! Pick me!

My clown cause loads of offence at first T, ignore it dies down!

 

[Tyler Durden]

My clown cause loads of offence at first T, ignore it dies down!

Really?

Who the bloody hell is going around getting offended by avatars?

 

[Bladepicker]

Funniest thing I've seen for a while - Baptiste booting the ball straight up in the air 3 times within 10 minutes of coming on and then, like he knew a fourth time would be a bit much even for a performance like Tuesday, he put his arm out to his next boot up in the air in order to stop it.

Comedy gold that lad.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Why did the SUFC squad cross the road?
They're all pedestrian.

 

[Dec]

Q. What is Nigel Adkins' favourite film?
A. Burn after Reading

Not 'When Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, Tuesday Comes'?

 

[Dalelane01]

A pound coin was thrown onto the football pitch.police didnt know if it was a missile or a takeover bid at sheffield united

 

[Karaoke Blade]

I've been playing guitar for a few years. I understand music, I like to think.

Can you explain this to me. Why is he using a capo? And why does the bass player, despite all the drama, play nothing but a bottom G on the bass?



Pretentious self indulgent 10 minutes of crap.

Just my opinion

We should play this as the 'Countdown to Kick-Off'.

 

[sitwell]

Pick me! Pick me!

Pipe down ,your all amateurs

 

[west_yorks_blade]

What's the difference between a large bag of fetid dog shit and Sheffield united's defence?

I don't know what is the difference between a large bag of fetid dog shit and Sheffield united's defence?

Come on you know the punch line .....

 

[Gavlar]

What's the difference between a large bag of fetid dog shit and Sheffield united's defence?

I don't know what is the difference between a large bag of fetid dog shit and Sheffield united's defence?

Come on you know the punch line .....

Nothing, theyre both not funny.......)