Ollessendro
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2009
- Messages
- 5,024
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Worr is it???? 
Oreit muckers.
It's bin a while since I update thi all abart mi gardening exploits. Av bin busy tha noz.
So a muved into a new house or summer. Had to downsize after some poor financial decisions n ended up in a shit-ole. Stuck in this grotty council estate, wi some reit scrubbers. That said, there are a few nice gardens knockin abart. There's mi evil twin n arch rival who lives next door n iz garden is lookin oreit too.
Well mi owd spages, wot can a say? I'm happy as a pig in shit at the minute. This bird a plopped for is a reit shag. She used t gu art wi mi evil twin, but av pretty much forgot abart that. She is great in the sack, charming, humble and intelligent and she can coook. More to it, she is a dab hand in the garden. She fookin loves DIY.
A wer a bit depressed when she first moved in. Am skint, mi landlord dunt gi a fook and mi tools just weren't up to buildin owt. But suddenly this chic has worked wonders. She's suddenly got these owd tools doin stuff. A cunt build owt before n me ex missus just weren't up to it. That slag (the one I chose over the classy bird) was terrible and completely ruined mi shed. A mean it were in a reit state after mi ex flat mate slowly dismantled it (the ex pub goalkeeper) and then I had a few temporary builders in that dint help. Well suddenly mi garden is lookin rosey. Our lass has spent the few pennies av gid here really wisely. She bought a good shovel (for diggin/buildin the pond), some weedkiller n some seeds for the turf and she got some power tools. A dun know how she has managed it, but she is managing t build wi tools that mi slag of an ex missus bought. Mi ex cunt get a panel up on mi shed, but nar ar lass has got the shed looking ship shape. A might yet get to have a BBQ or too this summer.
Ar lasses biggest masterstroke was picking up this power tool for nowt. It's a multi tasking thing from Scotland. It can do all sorts. Mow the lawn, break stone, put in screws, trim the hedge and be used as a hammer. It's reit good. All mi mates are wonderin how the fook a power tool like this has ended up in mi garden. It's only got a year's warranty, but a hope it keeps guin.
A feel like a king on this estate. Av defo got one of the best lookin gardens in the area. All mi neighbours are jealous as fuck. Sure, there is this black fella from darn South that has a nice garden. He's just kept it simple. There's also this fella wi a Geordie bird that has got mi worried. She can build n all. Am not sure she is as good as ar lass, but she has got skills. She is bigger and stronger, but doesn't have as much finesse. Oh and then there is mi brother's place. He's defying all logic and his garden looks ok. He paper overed the cracks (tarpaulin over the weeds) and is holding fings together. He's got this horrible fat ginger bird elpin him. She's rough as fook and a reit twat. Obnoxious, foul mouthed and just horrid. Mi bruver has given her some cash though and she has bought some useful tools. It is not pretty when she gets artside n starts banging and whackin things. It's horrid to watch, but it still looks batter than most on the estate. A fink she will fall on her face in the end, but we'll have to wait n see.
So pals, things are lookin rosey in Ollessendro's garden. But we know that the wind can change easily and there is still some potential cowd weather to come. It is me n all n av not ad much look or years. Am feelin quitely confident tho. N it's the first time in years av looked art int mi garden n being proud. Not just that, but am really enjoyin watching it grow. Ar lass looks great when she is digging, weeding and putting panels up. There's none of that tits art stuff I had with mi owd bird. She has dignity. Low cut tops and but of thigh is enough to make you salivate, but not too much. Top lass.
Dunt wurry tho, I'll keep this all posted
Oreit muckers.
It's bin a while since I update thi all abart mi gardening exploits. Av bin busy tha noz.
So a muved into a new house or summer. Had to downsize after some poor financial decisions n ended up in a shit-ole. Stuck in this grotty council estate, wi some reit scrubbers. That said, there are a few nice gardens knockin abart. There's mi evil twin n arch rival who lives next door n iz garden is lookin oreit too.
Well mi owd spages, wot can a say? I'm happy as a pig in shit at the minute. This bird a plopped for is a reit shag. She used t gu art wi mi evil twin, but av pretty much forgot abart that. She is great in the sack, charming, humble and intelligent and she can coook. More to it, she is a dab hand in the garden. She fookin loves DIY.
A wer a bit depressed when she first moved in. Am skint, mi landlord dunt gi a fook and mi tools just weren't up to buildin owt. But suddenly this chic has worked wonders. She's suddenly got these owd tools doin stuff. A cunt build owt before n me ex missus just weren't up to it. That slag (the one I chose over the classy bird) was terrible and completely ruined mi shed. A mean it were in a reit state after mi ex flat mate slowly dismantled it (the ex pub goalkeeper) and then I had a few temporary builders in that dint help. Well suddenly mi garden is lookin rosey. Our lass has spent the few pennies av gid here really wisely. She bought a good shovel (for diggin/buildin the pond), some weedkiller n some seeds for the turf and she got some power tools. A dun know how she has managed it, but she is managing t build wi tools that mi slag of an ex missus bought. Mi ex cunt get a panel up on mi shed, but nar ar lass has got the shed looking ship shape. A might yet get to have a BBQ or too this summer.
Ar lasses biggest masterstroke was picking up this power tool for nowt. It's a multi tasking thing from Scotland. It can do all sorts. Mow the lawn, break stone, put in screws, trim the hedge and be used as a hammer. It's reit good. All mi mates are wonderin how the fook a power tool like this has ended up in mi garden. It's only got a year's warranty, but a hope it keeps guin.
A feel like a king on this estate. Av defo got one of the best lookin gardens in the area. All mi neighbours are jealous as fuck. Sure, there is this black fella from darn South that has a nice garden. He's just kept it simple. There's also this fella wi a Geordie bird that has got mi worried. She can build n all. Am not sure she is as good as ar lass, but she has got skills. She is bigger and stronger, but doesn't have as much finesse. Oh and then there is mi brother's place. He's defying all logic and his garden looks ok. He paper overed the cracks (tarpaulin over the weeds) and is holding fings together. He's got this horrible fat ginger bird elpin him. She's rough as fook and a reit twat. Obnoxious, foul mouthed and just horrid. Mi bruver has given her some cash though and she has bought some useful tools. It is not pretty when she gets artside n starts banging and whackin things. It's horrid to watch, but it still looks batter than most on the estate. A fink she will fall on her face in the end, but we'll have to wait n see.
So pals, things are lookin rosey in Ollessendro's garden. But we know that the wind can change easily and there is still some potential cowd weather to come. It is me n all n av not ad much look or years. Am feelin quitely confident tho. N it's the first time in years av looked art int mi garden n being proud. Not just that, but am really enjoyin watching it grow. Ar lass looks great when she is digging, weeding and putting panels up. There's none of that tits art stuff I had with mi owd bird. She has dignity. Low cut tops and but of thigh is enough to make you salivate, but not too much. Top lass.
Dunt wurry tho, I'll keep this all posted
