I'm struggling to remember the names of all the United squad

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I have to remind uncle Susan regularly that she just had a wank, and that the kids just turned up so he needs to hold off for a second knuckle shuffle.
It's fucked really as I don't even get carers allowance. Just the measly sum I get from secretly recording for the only fans page she doesn't know about. Yet.
There's an upside to be found to every downside if you just look.
 
It's either a sign of early onset Alzheimer's or a reflection of the number of new players we have signed, but I still struggle to remember the names of all our squad. I used to pride myself on my memory on things like that, is anyone else struggling to remember who is who in our squad?!
I'd see it as a positive with our team at present!
 
It's either a sign of early onset Alzheimer's or a reflection of the number of new players we have signed, but I still struggle to remember the names of all our squad. I used to pride myself on my memory on things like that, is anyone else struggling to remember who is who in our squad?!
Half the regular team is loans who change every summer , so there's no wonder we can't remember.
The saddest thing is that when you start to form an affection for a player like Souttar or Hamza , it's an empty emotion coz they're not your player.
The prevalence of loans is just another nail in the coffin of my love for football and - dare I say it - for dem Blades.
How can I ever love a bunch of casual contractors in the same way I loved my 1971 promotion eleven ?
My love for a team of men is being morphed into a love for a "product".

That's what was so wonderful about the Wilder bunch 2016-20.
 
Last season Shackleton was coming on as a sub and I said out loud "who the hell is that guy"

I probably still would be the same now if I saw a photo of him.

As a kid I could identify goals by the first pass in a 10+ pass move and yet now I probably would walk past 80% of footballers without noticing
 
My memory is definitely not what it used to be but it was a lot easier to remember who the team was when there was a core who played week in week out and it was only injuries which caused changes.

The squads are so large these days and with loan players who only stay for a season or less, it's difficult to relate to any of them. I gave up trying to pronounce some of the names when Anel joined us - I still wouldn't write his surname without first checking the spelling.
 
Last season Shackleton was coming on as a sub and I said out loud "who the hell is that guy"

I probably still would be the same now if I saw a photo of him.

As a kid I could identify goals by the first pass in a 10+ pass move and yet now I probably would walk past 80% of footballers without noticing
He's October's player on this year's United calendar. At least I think he is. Took me a few days to arrive at that conclusion and I'm still not certain.
 

I have to remind uncle Susan regularly that she just had a wank, and that the kids just turned up so he needs to hold off for a second knuckle shuffle.
It's fucked really as I don't even get carers allowance. Just the measly sum I get from secretly recording for the only fans page she doesn't know about. Yet.
There's an upside to be found to every downside if you just look.
you are my fukin hero
 
They are pretty forgettable let’s be honest. When you compare them (unfairly) to the 2016-2019 squad it’s like night and day, that squad had so many characters even if they were sub par technically you’d remember them for something else
 
And another name I'll never remember added to the squad today!
 
Right, here we go, time to deploy my amazing powers of recall.


Cooper, Burrows, those other lads in defence, Mee, Hamer, O’Hare, Brooksy, Peck, Campbell, Thingy, That nippy one, Tom Davies, that fella, you know him, that one with the hair, that other one with the hair, him with the silly boots, the one that looks a bit like that bloke that might be off the telly, the one that looks a bit like the drummer from the Pet Shop Boys, him that you see grinning in the pictures of them in training, and Tom Fucking Cannon.


I think that’s all of them. Please fill in any I may have missed.



Oooh, oooh, I forgot one! Nick “Monty” Montgomery as “Monty!” Is he still here?
 
Right, here we go, time to deploy my amazing powers of recall.


Cooper, Burrows, those other lads in defence, Mee, Hamer, O’Hare, Brooksy, Peck, Campbell, Thingy, That nippy one, Tom Davies, that fella, you know him, that one with the hair, that other one with the hair, him with the silly boots, the one that looks a bit like that bloke that might be off the telly, the one that looks a bit like the drummer from the Pet Shop Boys, him that you see grinning in the pictures of them in training, and Tom Fucking Cannon.


I think that’s all of them. Please fill in any I may have missed.



Oooh, oooh, I forgot one! Nick “Monty” Montgomery as “Monty!” Is he still here?
Which one looks like the drummer from the Pet Shop Boys?!
 
Which one looks like the drummer from the Pet Shop Boys?!
That one with the eyebrows, you know, him that wears those funny boots. Used to play for that other team that are somewhere I forget, and probably did a fair old bit of tackling and kicking for them. You know, laddo. Him. Spitting image of the drummer from the Pet Shop Boys.
 

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