Christ. What a fucking MESS.
Guys, we have gone through what ... sixteen managers or so in the past twenty years, and half of that since we left the PL in 2007. Common denominator here? Anyone see some sort of pattern forming? Anyone notice a fucking great big McCabe-shaped pachyderm in the room?
And now, here we are, bereft of talent and direction, dicked by one of last year's promotions, and cheering on because some bloke with wealthy-sounding groundings chips in with a 50% offer (the day after deadline day)
McCabe (on phone): "Hey-yup Abdul. 'Ows it going in head-choppy land, eh? Champion. How's missus Allah? Oreyt? She's what? You had her killed for looking at your car? Luv'ly. Smashin'. Top stuff. Anyrooerd, about you chipping in wi' some cash. Aye. United. A bit like 'Man' United. Aye. Play in red. Aye. You've had them on fantasy footy? Really? Oh, Man United. That's great. Well we're like them, only a bit smaller. And not as good ... I mean, not as ... motivated. So you're in, eh? Grand. Are you ... like ... planning to ... erm ... spend anything on playing staf ... oh ... yes, yes ... I agree. I agree fully. Yes. You're perfectly right. Me? Well, I'd clear the outstanding debt hanging over the club first ... what's that? How did the club ramp up so much debt? Oh, well ... you heard of Carlos Tevez? Yes. Ugly little fucker. That's him. Oh, you have him in your fantasy team? What a talent. Outstanding. Well, he played for another club and scored some goals and to cut a very long story short which is dead boring and would go on past prayer-time, him and Neil Warnock worked it out between themselves and suddenly we were relegated and they ran off with all my ... all the club's money. Yes. Shit, isn't it? And then of course I appointed manager after manager but I think they were all in cahoots with Warnock ... and Tevez ... and as much as I tried, we ended up with dogshit players and I had no cash. Broke my heart you know - because as you know ... well you probably don't ... but I'm 100% Blade ... just like Sean Bean. Who? Iselgor Babbins in the Lords of the Flies. Yeah, him. He's a Blade, you know. I'll introduce you. So ... anyway. What are your plans? So you're in at 50% and don't plan on spending owt until ... 2015? Oh. But what about the debt stuff? Oh ... Oh I seeeeee. Hah. What a great mind you have your eminence. So you're joining the club, clearing what the club owes to me and not bothering spending owt on players. That is GENIUS, I tell you. I'm sat here with a boner so hard, my cat couldn't climb it. Eh? Oh, never mind. I'll explain over a beer some time. Eh? Oh. Yeah. Coffee it is then. Best time to join and for me to announce 'great new investment'? That'll be the day after the transfer window closes. Eh? Oh, don't worry mate. Later, eh? Just make sure on the cheque you don't put 'MacCabe'. One 'c'. Yes. Like in 'cunt' ... "
Mark my words. Relegation looms. We have a shit, disorganised squad full of pretty useless, ineptplayers (from top to bottom) and no method of rectifying that.
pommpey