Duz it ever work gerrin back wi yer ex?

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If it's lass I'm thinking of, it's a bit like most relationships innit, showers and shaves every 5 minutes at first then it's back to flannel weshes and you get to know what they really smell like.

If it's lass I'm thinking of, she seemed absolutely perfect for you pal, never seen happiness like it. Then she gorra bit up herself and aye, you were raight to tell her the sun shone out her lady garden, it's just she started to believe it n'all. (Tha'rt being a bit generous forgetting that time she f***ed off and left thee, then came back when she'd been dumped a couple of times).

Since then, I s'pose it's not as exciting as before, and I would say she's good wi't kids but she seems to slag 'em off a lot and prefer other people's. Ah way. I s'pose question is, no offence but has tha got any money or are tha any sort of looker to think tha could do any better for thi sen?

Am deffo a looker. People are always starin at mi wen dey gu past mi like

But bein serious, av not got much money n am sort o average. Av bin promised money from jobs but nowt much az happened. First it wi dis bloke from rarrnd ar way selling Belgian chocolates, den it wer di Saudi bloke sellin bog roles n nar it's some Yankee doodles. Each time they promise mi a big salary n bonus but wen it comes t it, ders barely a pot t piss in. If a ad some money am finking a cud get a more attractive bird, for long run like. But whilst am skint, mebbe a shudder stick wi her. At least for t minute.

 

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O’reyt pal, can see yer problem.

Tek it from me, it’s never as gud as’ first time wi’ missus wen yer get back wi’er.

First time round it were top class, proper exciting, yer couldn’t wait for’t weekend and she showed you positions no one ad ever sin before, best few years of yer life.

But after that it fizzled aht, yet got bored o’ same stuff and turned aht it were quite stale and she decided to fuck off, which wor problee best for both of yous.

Yer both tried others but in’t end neither of yer wor appy wi’ new partners so you decided to gi’ it another go. Things were steady but she never did any of that sexy exciting stuff, just boring positions and styles but it got job done. Then yer had a crap weekend together at Plymouth and yer thought that wor’ it again, but yer patched it up and booked a weekend away in London. Inside yer knew it wor mek or brek, and it ended in heartbreak so yer ditched her.

Few months after trying some foreign bird and it no workin aht, yer begged er to come back - and whilst it’s better than wot yer ad, it’s never as gud as first time.

My advice pal, careful wot yer wish for, it might seem there’s some fit birds aht there but the one yer’ve got is steady, seems to really like yer and isn’t worst bird yer’ve ever ad…

Nar we talkin mi owd spadge. Da gets it. Cheers owd lovey.

 

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Well I never. The prodigal returns with tales of romantic angst and a real conundrum. Question is, better the devil you know?

Wots Kylie got to do wi owt?!

 

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So... This isn't a thread about Wilder?

Da wot? A metaphor wots dat like?!