Ollessendro
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2009
- Messages
- 5,024
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Muckers. It has been a while since I have updated anyone on my shed. So I thought I would treat you with the latest from my garden! This will be a series of threads (mitigation against being unfairly treated by the admins) that give an update of how Ollessendro is progressing on his garden over the coming months.
Lesson learnt
I learnt sumert really important. It’s not just about mi shed, it’s about the whole garden. It is no use having a nice shed, if you don’t have a nice pond, a lovely patio, some nice decking, good turf/grass, a beautiful conservatory, greenhouse in good nick and a wide range of attractive flowers. Sorry Boo, but you have to look wider than the turf. It’s the whole picture.
Update
Well Blades, it has been an eventful summer. I’ve moved house and gorra new bird. The estate agent is still lurking, but he has practically fooked off. I still have the same landlord mind. Fucking two hat.
My new house
I’ve moved to a smaller place in a shitter, more run down neighbourhood. It’s got potential this place though and it is better than most of the other houses. My garden is one of the biggest on the estate and could be the best with some work. Problem is muckers, that most of mi neighbours are jealous and have already started preparing.
Mi new bird
Well mi landlord got rid of the slag (thank fuck) and she is back wi her next boyfriend. A shud have gone for that classy bird after all. Mi ex were an absolute disaster. Never put art and were rubbish at building. So have a gorra new bird. She’s oreit.
Mi mates are a bit divided. Some of em think she is a reit slag and others fink she is oreit. 10 years ago she were dead classy. All the guys wanted some and she looked great. Bangin tits, great legs and really good in the garden. She sorted me cousins garden out and gave it an exotic feel. Sh were dead tanned from working in sun (couple with the exotic garden) that everyone dar the Dog and Duck started saying she wer from Brazil. But then she diteched mi cousin and went out wi mi evil twin brother! It dint really work art reit well. Since then she has lost it a bit. She has cut a few lawns, layed some turf, dug a pond and layed some decking. But it has never been top notch. Still a thought I’d give her a try.
Mi family is not reit happy though. When they got wind of it they all came round and stood in mi garden shouting fings. They dunt like the fact she went art wi mi evil twin. Even though it was years ago. Most of mi family are numpties and dint really see the bigger picture. Still, fair play ar lass went out and had a chat wi em. She appeased most of em.
What’s been happening?
Well, a told ar lass she has a big job on her hands. She has the shed to put up, lawn to turf, decking to lay, patio to build and pond to dig/make. Trouble is that she has not got the reit tools. She has got a mixture of crap, failed power tools that do not work and useless garden tools. Most of them we own and I am still paying for, so we can’t really bring in new one’s. We’ve been trying to get rid of them, but no fooker will give us owt for em. It’s unsustainable what we are paying, but our hands are tied.
So a told ar lass to sort it out. Get rid of the old, failed and useless tools. The ones that failed miserably to build mi shed. And then add some new and used tools to replace them. We have some home grown tools, that we made ourselves which are promising. However they are not enough and we need more.
At the moment I am underwhelmed wi what our lass has done. She is talking a good game, but nowt has happened. I was hoping that she wud get rid of all the junk and then replace them. I envisaged her down the car boot, on e-bay, on Gum Tree looking at the free adverts, scowering freestuff.com and even nicking stuff out of other people’s shed. So far she has done nowt. She says it is difficult because she is tryin to shift all the shit owd tools and no one wants them. The landlord says we can’t have any cash until we have sold the tools, or offloaded the hire purchase agreements.
There is still time for our lass to get our tools in nick, but the clock is ticking. Ama bit worried, but she keeps sayin it is oreit. Maybe I am expectin too much, but I was hopin for an overhaul. She says that we only need a few new tools and she can work wi the owd one’s. I am sceptical though. She dint see how shit they were when I was trying to build mi shed. Mind you, only a poor worksman blames their tools and that slag of an ex were a shite worker. Always drinking and just hitting stuff wi the hammer. Maybe mi new bird can build sumert wi a few more decent tools.
Looking ahead
I fink realistically it will be a couple of years before mi garden starts to take shape. You can’t just dig a pond, lay some turf, build a patio, put a greenhouse up, lay some decking and build a shed overnight. It might tek time. What I am looking for in ar lass is potential. I don’t mind if we don’t have turf like Bramall Lane, as long as some shoots come through. If she gets the foundations for the shed reit, then it does not matter if she doesn’t get the panels up before Christmas. It is important that she gets the measurements right before she tries putting the decking down. The tomatoes in the greenhouse will take time to grow. Digging a pond is more difficult than it looks. But she can draw some help from mi bit on the side (ar lass dunt know about that part) who build a cracking pond.
I just want to set the context. I’ll give different updates on the different strands of work that me and ar lass are looking at. Remember spadges, it is not just about the shed or the turf. It is the whole package. And do not worry Unitedites, not a blade of grass will be cut, panel built, hole dug, turf cut, foundation layed, decking bought or tool procured or offloaded without me telling you about it.
Have a good weekend all. Me n ar lass are off scouting for tools. There are a lot of leases finishing at this time and hire purchases ending. Hence there tend to be more tools on the car boots and on the websites.
Lesson learnt
I learnt sumert really important. It’s not just about mi shed, it’s about the whole garden. It is no use having a nice shed, if you don’t have a nice pond, a lovely patio, some nice decking, good turf/grass, a beautiful conservatory, greenhouse in good nick and a wide range of attractive flowers. Sorry Boo, but you have to look wider than the turf. It’s the whole picture.
Update
Well Blades, it has been an eventful summer. I’ve moved house and gorra new bird. The estate agent is still lurking, but he has practically fooked off. I still have the same landlord mind. Fucking two hat.
My new house
I’ve moved to a smaller place in a shitter, more run down neighbourhood. It’s got potential this place though and it is better than most of the other houses. My garden is one of the biggest on the estate and could be the best with some work. Problem is muckers, that most of mi neighbours are jealous and have already started preparing.
Mi new bird
Well mi landlord got rid of the slag (thank fuck) and she is back wi her next boyfriend. A shud have gone for that classy bird after all. Mi ex were an absolute disaster. Never put art and were rubbish at building. So have a gorra new bird. She’s oreit.
Mi mates are a bit divided. Some of em think she is a reit slag and others fink she is oreit. 10 years ago she were dead classy. All the guys wanted some and she looked great. Bangin tits, great legs and really good in the garden. She sorted me cousins garden out and gave it an exotic feel. Sh were dead tanned from working in sun (couple with the exotic garden) that everyone dar the Dog and Duck started saying she wer from Brazil. But then she diteched mi cousin and went out wi mi evil twin brother! It dint really work art reit well. Since then she has lost it a bit. She has cut a few lawns, layed some turf, dug a pond and layed some decking. But it has never been top notch. Still a thought I’d give her a try.
Mi family is not reit happy though. When they got wind of it they all came round and stood in mi garden shouting fings. They dunt like the fact she went art wi mi evil twin. Even though it was years ago. Most of mi family are numpties and dint really see the bigger picture. Still, fair play ar lass went out and had a chat wi em. She appeased most of em.
What’s been happening?
Well, a told ar lass she has a big job on her hands. She has the shed to put up, lawn to turf, decking to lay, patio to build and pond to dig/make. Trouble is that she has not got the reit tools. She has got a mixture of crap, failed power tools that do not work and useless garden tools. Most of them we own and I am still paying for, so we can’t really bring in new one’s. We’ve been trying to get rid of them, but no fooker will give us owt for em. It’s unsustainable what we are paying, but our hands are tied.
So a told ar lass to sort it out. Get rid of the old, failed and useless tools. The ones that failed miserably to build mi shed. And then add some new and used tools to replace them. We have some home grown tools, that we made ourselves which are promising. However they are not enough and we need more.
At the moment I am underwhelmed wi what our lass has done. She is talking a good game, but nowt has happened. I was hoping that she wud get rid of all the junk and then replace them. I envisaged her down the car boot, on e-bay, on Gum Tree looking at the free adverts, scowering freestuff.com and even nicking stuff out of other people’s shed. So far she has done nowt. She says it is difficult because she is tryin to shift all the shit owd tools and no one wants them. The landlord says we can’t have any cash until we have sold the tools, or offloaded the hire purchase agreements.
There is still time for our lass to get our tools in nick, but the clock is ticking. Ama bit worried, but she keeps sayin it is oreit. Maybe I am expectin too much, but I was hopin for an overhaul. She says that we only need a few new tools and she can work wi the owd one’s. I am sceptical though. She dint see how shit they were when I was trying to build mi shed. Mind you, only a poor worksman blames their tools and that slag of an ex were a shite worker. Always drinking and just hitting stuff wi the hammer. Maybe mi new bird can build sumert wi a few more decent tools.
Looking ahead
I fink realistically it will be a couple of years before mi garden starts to take shape. You can’t just dig a pond, lay some turf, build a patio, put a greenhouse up, lay some decking and build a shed overnight. It might tek time. What I am looking for in ar lass is potential. I don’t mind if we don’t have turf like Bramall Lane, as long as some shoots come through. If she gets the foundations for the shed reit, then it does not matter if she doesn’t get the panels up before Christmas. It is important that she gets the measurements right before she tries putting the decking down. The tomatoes in the greenhouse will take time to grow. Digging a pond is more difficult than it looks. But she can draw some help from mi bit on the side (ar lass dunt know about that part) who build a cracking pond.
I just want to set the context. I’ll give different updates on the different strands of work that me and ar lass are looking at. Remember spadges, it is not just about the shed or the turf. It is the whole package. And do not worry Unitedites, not a blade of grass will be cut, panel built, hole dug, turf cut, foundation layed, decking bought or tool procured or offloaded without me telling you about it.
Have a good weekend all. Me n ar lass are off scouting for tools. There are a lot of leases finishing at this time and hire purchases ending. Hence there tend to be more tools on the car boots and on the websites.
:badger:
