Current players who would get in to all time worst XI

[Houston_Blade]

There are 2 categories here. The first is worst signings and I'd put the likes of Ten Heuvel, Boussatta, Baxter, Cullen, Ebrell etc who have just been disasters but never really played much because they were that bad or in Ebrell's case unlucky.

Then there are the regular players where you just think "how the hell are they footballers". This team has a lot of them but I'd say there are far worse examples over the years.

 

[LoughboroBlade]

We had a player called Jasper Johns???!!!!

Now enjoying life with FC Stafford incidentally.

It's scary to think how it's only two years ago that this was our collection of summer signings before our opening game:

Jasper Johns
Sean McGinty
Stephen McGinn
Febian Brandy
Lyle Taylor (the only one we paid a fee for)

This was the kind of market we were operating in before The Prince came in. We should probably remind ourselves of that once in a while.

 

[Bartleby]

For me out of the current squad there are plenty of players who would be there or thereabout in terms of an all time worst XI.

Mark Howard is an average League 1 keeper at best who is poor on long shots, and doesnt command his area.

Kieron Freeman is a poor poor right back, very weak defensively, regularly caught out of position, and
I've lost count of how often this has cost us.

Neill Collins. He has been a constant in the last 5 years of underperformance, signed by Mickey Adams in our Championship death throes where it abundently clear that he was seriously out of his depth, was fortunate to have a quality player in Maguire alongside him for 3 seasons making him look better than he was. Was found out last season when he was rightfully banished from the side, yet incredibly someone at the Lane has deemed this shit cunt worthy of another year at the Lane.

Jay McEveley. A poor defender, who is equally inept at either centre half or left back, but one of his few saving graces is that he is not Neill Collins.

JCR. Our impact player, who when he plays has no impact whatsover, is great at beating the same man three times and even better at finding blind alleys. A relative rarity in the modern game in that he is a winger who lacks the basic capability or being able to cross.

Martin Woolford. Anybody want to hazard a guess why we signed him, and for bonus points, can anyone explain what he brings to the side?

Dean Hammond. Anyone know why we signed him. Slow, pedestrian midfielder who offers little, fits in well in our squad.

Not defending some of the the disappointing performances we've had, but there must come a point with all this where a team that is not doing well picks up on the fact that the fans are saying they are all shite, and should be shipped out, and they hear the personal abuse on the touchline, and maybe they just say to themselves oh fuck it. Just saying.

 

[Karaoke Blade]

From the top of my head here's 11 shockers
GK Derek Rickardson
RB Paul Richardson
LB Stewart Houston
CB Nyron Nosworthy
CB Phil Thompson
MF Jordan Stewart
MF Michael Twiss
MF Martin Peters
MF Adam Burley
ST Steve Finneston
ST Craig Beattie

So to answer the OP, none.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

The worst United player I've ever seen with the ball at his feet?

Leigh Bromby

Solid defender but my God I swear he couldn't pass a ball to save his life or run 5 yards with it.

He made Monty look like George Best.

 

[Karaoke Blade]

Quite clearly the answer to the OP is zero.

As for those that have included Howard in there, there's probably an XI of its own that are all worse.

OK, you've set a challenge, so here goes (in no particular order):

Steve Simonsen
Derek Richardson
Lee Baxter
John Hope (post 1972)
Nicky Johns
George Long
Steve Conroy
Andy Leaning
Wilko de Vogt
Mark Bunn

bugger, I'm one short!

 

[LoughboroBlade]

OK, you've set a challenge, so here goes (in no particular order):

Steve Simonsen
Derek Richardson
Lee Baxter
John Hope (post 1972)
Nicky Johns
George Long
Steve Conroy
Andy Leaning
Wilko de Vogt
Mark Bunn

bugger, I'm one short!

Iain Turner for the set.

 

[Karaoke Blade]

Iain Turner for the set.

That's the one!!!
I really am starting to worry about my age, I can reel off players from the 70's but can't remember 'em from last season.

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

Here we have a line-up that would probably give the shivering willies to any Blade old enough to have seen them all.

 

[Trigger Blade]

I think Scougall is awful. Sorry you don't share that view.

Why would you express regret that somebody doesn't share your view about how bad one of our players is?

There's no shortage of candidates, but Scougall wouldn't even make the Top 100 worst players we've had in the last 30 years (in my opinion, which I wouldn't wish to impose upon anybody else).

 

[Pollingtonblade]

The original thread is spot on this is the longest spell ever outside the top 2 divisions none of the other 'shit cunts' managed that.

 

[Darren]

The original thread is spot on this is the longest spell ever outside the top 2 divisions none of the other 'shit cunts' managed that.

Not quite. If we go up this season, it will be equal to the 1979-84 spell. If we don't go up, the current lot will have that dubious "record".

 

[Pollingtonblade]

Not quite. If we go up this season, it will be equal to the 1979-84 spell. If we don't go up, the current lot will have that dubious "record".

Sorry it just seems like that :-(

But at least 79-84 included 2 promotions.

 

[Darren]

Sorry it just seems like that :-(

But at least 79-84 included 2 promotions.

But at least we haven't been relegated to the 4th tier this time

It's funny that what is, statistically (in terms of league position), the club's worst ever season - 81-2 - is looked at with great fondness by all who remember it.

 

[Guesty]

But at least we haven't been relegated to the 4th tier this time

It's funny that what is, statistically (in terms of league position), the club's worst ever season - 81-2 - is looked at with great fondness by all who remember it.

I guess because it ended in promotion and the previous one ended in relegation, it could be argued that the 80-81 season was worse. United finished higher in the league but as a result of relegation started the next season lower.

 

[Darren]

I guess because it ended in promotion and the previous one ended in relegation, it could be argued that the 80-81 season was worse. United finished higher in the league but as a result of relegation started the next season lower.

Indeed. I am sure that had the 81-2 team been in Division 3, they would have finished higher than 21st.

 

[1danewhitehouse]

What? Is this a miss-print or just bad memory? Vonk isn't anywhere near a worst 11 in the last 50 years I've been watching!!!

Just a quick thought:

This current squad is head and shoulders (the fact it isn't physically is the main problem) above the the one Weir left us with. You can go back less than two years and find Tony McMahon, Fabien Brandy, Matt Hill, Lyle Taylor, Billy Paynter, Darryl Westlake, Paddy McGinty, I'm stopping now as I've got a bit of sick in my mouth remembering this lot . . . .

This is an interesting topic to me. Michael Vonk, Peter Katchouro amd Wayne Quinn for me make up a list of players who have been amongst the best players at the club for a period only to be followed by a post injury period of being absolutely dog-shit. Some therefore remember them as good players whilst others think they were awful depending on what they saw most of. When we signed Vonk, he was quality. Then he spent some time on the sidelines with an injury, came back and I think in his first 3 games back, he conceded a pen, scored an own goal and got himself sent off and was generally atrocious. I think he left shortly after that. Katchouro when he signed was quick and skilful and scored that absolute worldy of an overhead kick from the edge of the box but post injury he couldn’t even beat a 40 year old Steve Orgrizovic in a foot race. Quinn was an exciting prospect in that great Spackman team in 97. Him and Borbokis marauded down each flank as attacking wing backs. He scored a spectacular free kick from about 35 yards out against Reading. Newcastle were about to sign him for £2million but he got injured. Came back but wasn’t as good and ended up going for £1million. Came back on loan some time later and was horrendous, a complete liability.

 

[1danewhitehouse]

You get a like just for remembering Jon Fucking Cullen! How bad was he?!

Other shite I haven't noticed on my quick skim of this thread:

- Steve Yates
- Nicky Marker (I don't think he had joints in the middle of his legs where the rest of us have knees)
- James Thomas
- Darren Bullock (I think that was his name)
- Adam Burley
- Joe Ironside

Sorry brownie , none of the current squad get anywhere near my team

And barnyblade , Scougall? Are you on crack? He's got the ability to be one of the best players in our current squad. No great feat I appreciate, but worst players ever? You're either having a laugh, or you don't really understand football.

- Steve Yates- Didn’t think he was too bad in our triple assault season although he did score a spectacular own goal against Leeds.


- Nicky Marker- He wasn’t great but had a decent spell I believe in early 98


- James Thomas- Atrocious- How was that a sweetener for the Marcus Bent sale?


- Darren Bullock (I think that was his name)- Very limited footballer but was at least combative. Made his debut against the pigs and remember him kicking fuck out of em so don’t mind him.


- Adam Burley- Just a kid who didn’t make it. Could add Ben Doane, Mark Ward, Evan Horwood, Kevan Hurst, Ian Ross, Elliott Whitehouse, Chris Bettney, Ryan Mallon, Callum McFadzean etc to that list. I think it’s harsh to class them as the worst as they were only with us at a young age.


- Joe Ironside- Ditto

 

[1danewhitehouse]

No place in that squad for Horsfield or Ashley Ward?

Don’t think Horsfield really got a fair crack at it. Ward was terrible but we’ve had so many atrocious strikers some have to miss out.

 

[1danewhitehouse]

Wilko De Vogt. And definitely a good call on Twiss.

I used to watch De Vogt doing half time warm ups with the other subs. His ball skills were amazing. If he could run I think he’d have made it as an outfield player. I remember me and my mate always saying we should put him on up front for D’Jaffo.

 

[1danewhitehouse]

Where the fuck are Willie Falconer and Barry Hayles ?
Im sorry but Howard isn't in the top 10 worst keepers ,hes not even the worst keeper at the club now.

I’ll always remember Falconer fondly for his diving headed winner against Chelsea at the Lane in the 93-94 season.

 

[Silent Blade]

I’ll always remember Falconer fondly for his diving headed winner against Chelsea at the Lane in the 93-94 season.

It was a header that was aided by a deflection on a Chelsea defender's chest. Falconer didnt have to dive to get his head to the ball

 

[TonyAgana]

Darren Carr

 

[1danewhitehouse]

It was a header that was aided by a deflection on a Chelsea defender's chest. Falconer didnt have to dive to get his head to the ball

Ah, the memory plays tricks on the mind. Watching as a 9 year old, it was a fantastic diving header. Don't ruin it for me!

 

[TonyAgana]

It's funny that what is, statistically (in terms of league position), the club's worst ever season - 81-2 - is looked at with great fondness by all who remember it.

It's a phenomenon that has become the justification for me to not give up on football. If you can't find moments of joy in whatever league you're in, then football would not exist. Without this realisation, I might have been a Twitter warrior.

 

[Silent Blade]

Ah, the memory plays tricks on the mind. Watching as a 9 year old, it was a fantastic diving header. Don't ruin it for me!

It was Mrs Silent's first visit to the Lane. She was bored during the match and rested her head on my shoulder but got a big fright when I cheered our goal! She has been to the Lane only once more and that was when our son was one of the mascots in the game against Plymouth in November 2008

 

[1danewhitehouse]

It was Mrs Silent's first visit to the Lane. She was bored during the match and rested her head on my shoulder but got a big fright when I cheered our goal! She has been to the Lane only once more and that was when our son was one of the mascots in the game against Plymouth in November 2008

My Mrs' first game was the 3-0 win over QPR under Blackwell when Billy got a hat-trick. A week later, she couldn't remember who we'd played, what the score was or who'd scored

 

[BushBlade]

My Mrs' first game was the 3-0 win over QPR under Blackwell when Billy got a hat-trick. A week later, she couldn't remember who we'd played, what the score was or who'd scored

Rohypnol does that.

 

[AlienBlade]

At GK Derek Richardson was worse than Howard
At RB Tony Moore was worse than Freeman. As was Ross Davidson
At Right midfield Steve Hawes was woefully out of his depth in the mid nineties and far worse than JCR.
CB, Mark Blount was worse than Collins but obviously played far fewer games.

Surely Lee Baxter has also to be up there in terms of GK disasters,

many said McMahon was useless at RB, as they did Westlake, and Alcock... and that's just from the past few seasons
Mendez Laing was truely awful too (looked like he was running through fully set concrete or like a bad freddy kruger nightmare..
LB we've had Williams, (some even was saying Hill was extremely poor...)

 

[AlienBlade]

Just on my time of watching the blades it'd look something like

----------------------------Baxter

Westlake----Nosworthy--Gysbrechts--Stewart

Boussatta-----Hamilton--Cullen------T. Johnstone

-------------------Dong---Ten Heuvel

Subs
Simmo
Barrett
Andy Taylor
Onoura
O Halloran
Cas

There's an argument to say McEveley and Woolford might make the bench but I don't think any of the current bunch would make the worst 11. The problem is, most of that 11 weren't regular starters because they were so bad. At the moment, quite a few of our regular players are only a little better than some of those jokers and they remain regulars despite being so bad.

no place for Andy France? or that "superstar" loanee we had from Italy?? Claude Davis is always quoted as being really bad...