Cliches I fucking despise

[Top Cat]

He managed to (or didn't quite manage to) wrap his foot around it.

And the use of the word technical or technically.

 

[BushBlade]

There are just not enough words, metaphors and similes in the English language to find new ways to describe things that occur so frequently and have been talked and written about for over a hundred years.

Every word, every person says or writes about football is, essentially, a cliche.

 

[Ginger Gnome]

"Why are the likes of Bournemouth in the top division and we're down here?"

BECAUSE THEY FUCKING EARNED IT YOU SELF ENTITLED CUNTS.

Pretty sure the reason they're up there and we're down here is that McCabe decided to cut his cloth accordingly and try to follow the financial protocols and other such nonsense to ensure we're a well-run football club.

Meanwhile, Bournemouth went into admin to avoid paying their debts, then overspent year after year on the financial fair play rules without ever feeling the consequences as the fines only get applied when you stay at the same level. They kept going up so avoided the fines, they're due a massive one whenever they end up back in the Football League, but by then they'll have racked up oodles of Premier League money and couldn't care less.

So the cliche I hate the most is that Bournemouth is some kind of rages to riches story. Their run of promotions was earned on the pitch, but they did it while spending outside the rules to acquire players they wouldn't have had if they stuck to the spending rules. They're cheats who worked the system to their advantage, we played fair and got nowhere.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

"He's whipped it in"

Formerly known as crossing, centreing, or just passing it.

"The keeper's done a worldie, and it's hit the beans"

Welcome to Merson World, the fount of all stupid utterances

 

[blade too long]

take a boo son , andy grayism
unbelieveable , kammyspeak
that Gary Megson is a ginger cunt,,,, everyone else


they are a massive club looking to get back up in the big time
for a city of its size it should have at least one club in the premier league

 

[Newbury Blade]

"Quality!"

 

[Newbury Blade]

And one from the players ... whenever a ball is hoisted into the area, someone always shouts "AWAY!"
But the strange thing is – even if the entire back four is Scottish, or Croatian, or from wherever – the person who shouts "AWAY!" always has a cockney accent.

 

[PokerBlade]

Tactically naive.

No plan B.

What we need is someone who puts the ball in the back of the net (occasionally followed up a while later with complaints about a goalscorer being lazy).

 

[bladeinspaceandtime]

"I'll ring you back" - no, you fucking won't, you lying bastard

"I was just about to call you". Like bollocks you were.

 

[Barnette]

Any sentence with the word "Amazing" in it.....................at all

 

[sitwell]

great camerwarderwarry (c) Rio Ferdinand

 

[Bert]

It irritates Bert when a manager describes his job as a "Project"

 

[georgebernardshaw]

It irritates Bert when a manager describes his job as a "Project"

George also

 

[Dellas Cowboys]

performing in the Arena............when talking about football

 

[Gimli]

Predictably unpredictable - you mean unpredictable.
Consistently inconsistent - you mean inconsistent.
There is a reason those two words exist on their own.

Almost as if... - you mean it is.
Wax lyrical - you mean you've eaten a crayon and have written a song about it?

Going great guns - doesn't make any grammatical sense and sounds crap.

 

[Dellas Cowboys]

"I didn't see it / have a clear view"..............Managers talking about any incident where a situation went in their favour that shouldn't have due to unfair play / poor refereeing or where their player was sent off fairly for unarmed combat

 

[BridBladesman]

Bert saying things in the third person

When Americans say ' Awesome'

 

[Jonboy60]

Owt Paul Merson says, awful pundit, hardly a linguist extraordinaire.

In fact most of the soccer Saturday lot. Enjoy the show, despise their cliches.

His favourite one is, "he hit the beans on toast". "Unbelievable Jeff". (Kammy).

 

[Gimli]

'He'd run through a brick wall for the team' - well that's hardly necessary is it.
'That's naive defending' - that was crap defending.
'He's a clever player' - he's 5' 5" and can pass.
'He's a strong powerful player' - he's big and black.
'A real relegation 6 pointer' - still only worth 3 points.
'You have to say that's fantastic' - no I don't.
'That's the worst start imaginable' - has a giant volcano erupted, covering the entire ground in molten lava? (Even that wouldn't be the worst start imaginable)

 

[blade too long]

wednesday are drawing 2-2 with bristol city as we go into extra time

will there be a twist in the tale

of course there will pigs have twists in their tails

 

[Tyler Durden]

"That's a top-drawer save"

So a fairly good save would be a pants-drawer save or a simple save would be right out of the sock drawer maybe?

No? Well shut the fuck up then.

 

[Tyler Durden]

"We've reached the business-end of the season"

Yes, I also enjoy that leisurely 7 months of fucking about and having a laugh before the real work begins in February.

 

[sheffielder]

This thread is par for the course round here

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

One of the Radio Sheffield twots often says "he's returned that with interest"

 

[blade too long]

they arent as good as your Curries or your Marshes and Bowleses

they had cloning in the seventies

we sung Tony Tony Currie because they were 2 of them apparently

 

[Tyler Durden]

"He covered every blade of grass out there tonight"

Bet he didn't, I bet he missed a few.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

Bert saying things in the third person

When Americans say ' Awesome'

George does this occasionally .......

 

[Tyler Durden]

"We'll do our talking out on the pitch"........




"Ooh I like your boots Steve"

"Cheers Paul, yeah I got 'em from Foot Locker, on sale at £40"

"Bargain mate, I might have to get myself som- Oh bollocks here we are rabbiting away and they've just scored against us, how embarrassing"

 

[georgebernardshaw]

"He's really skinned the full back there"

Unnecessary, in my view..

 

[PeteBlade]

"Why are the likes of Bournemouth in the top division and we're down here?"

BECAUSE THEY FUCKING EARNED IT YOU SELF ENTITLED CUNTS.

*Bought it