Chris Wilder shopping at a car boot sale

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Car Booter: Morning mate. Nice looking vase that innit?
CW: It is mate. Do you know much about it?
Car Booter: Not really. It's a bit dusty but give it a wipe and I'm sure it'll come up nice.
CW: How much do you want for it?
Car Booter: Well, a couple of people have told me it might be summat decent so, errrrr....... hundred quid mate, and not a penny less.
CW: OK, I'll take it. Hey, isn't that Chansiri over there, whispering something to Steve Bruce?
Car Booter: Yeah, they've been here a few times. I don't know why they bother. Last week some bloke sold them a tatty old copy of the Mona Lisa. They paid a fortune for it thinking it was the real deal. Turned out to be another fake.

Collector: You bought it where?
CW: At a car boot sale.
Collector: Well I have to say, you obviously know what you're looking for and you've done a great job cleaning it up. I'll give you ten grand for it now.
CW: Sorry mate, I'm building up a collection that I can put on display for everyone to admire. I need a couple more for the set and it will be worth millions when it's complete.....

 

[1889]

KM..........whoah hang on Chris, let’s hear the bloke out. Did you say ten grand?

 

[Patrick Suffaux]

I heard they sold the fax machine at the same car boot

 

[Manuel Azaña]

I heard DefJohn's car broke down and Bruce had to get out and push it there.
Marsh Lane can be torture to some!
Anyway, they did get there and eventually got £35 for said car, so all wasn't bad.

 

[SwissBlade]

Chris Wilder wouldn’t just turn up at a car boot sale and randomly pick up a dusty old vase.

He’ll have tracked it for years, knowing it’s potential. He’d go to the car boot sale and see that nobody was interested in it (except villa).

Then as the car booter heads off to the tip with his unsold items, he’d pop up just as he was about to chuck it in the glass recycling bin and save the crystal vase, buying the bloke a pint in return

Wilder would then take said vase on the bus, clean it up and put it in pride of place at his home.

 

[BushBlade]

Chancer’s got a stall but he won’t sell anything. Someone wanted to buy an old statue of an elephant but he asked for daft money.

 

[blade too long]

chansiri got a load of white plastic seats that can spell swfc,

 

[Woodwardfan]

CW arrives at a stall and offers cash for the best vase on show, the best vase he had ever imagined in fact. He agrees a price and then has to admit he can't pay until his parents are divorced and explains they are still arguing in court. When that is settled they are going to release all their assets and give half of it all to Chris who offers to pay a 5% deposit for the vase with the rest to be paid in a couple of months or maybe even into the New Year. The stallholder expresses unease and while they are negotiating another punter offers the same price and cash on the day. The vase is sold and CW moves on to another stall to see what's next best there and still available as time has marched on that morning and not much is left. CW thinks to himself ' if only my parents hadn't fallen out this particular year when that beautiful vase was there for me to make my own. The best ever vase was there to buy and whoosh the time had flown and the opportunity flew away with it. CW knows full well he will be a millionaire next year ...oh hum.

 

[Berlin Blade]

...Then he speaks to his mate Alan Knill, who happens to be a world class vase maker. He makes loads. Some he uses in his house and others he sells for top money, and buys more vases. You see Chris Wilder knows that sometimes you don’t have to pay £20 million quid for a vase worth £20 million quid.

 

[shorehamview]

Chris Wilder won’t go to a car boot sale. He and Knill will root round in a skip, drag out something that most people would put straight back, take it to Antiques Roadshow and watch Fiona Bruce wet herself with excitement because it’s the greatest find in the show’s history.

 

[ThatJa]

Chris Wilder wouldn’t just turn up at a car boot sale and randomly pick up a dusty old vase.

He’ll have tracked it for years, knowing it’s potential. He’d go to the car boot sale and see that nobody was interested in it (except villa).

Then as the car booter heads off to the tip with his unsold items, he’d pop up just as he was about to chuck it in the glass recycling bin and save the crystal vase, buying the bloke a pint in return

Wilder would then take said vase on the bus, clean it up and put it in pride of place at his home.

Then when hes done with it sell it to villa for a few grand.

 

[diode_blade]

CW: "who's the person helping you..."
Booter: "dunno, just found him wondering around with a copy of the diddy men...volume 3"
CW: "Can I have him..."
Booter: "You sure pal...he looks a bit aged, doesn't look like he can do much..."
CW: " We will see, how much?"
Booter: "Tha can have him for nowt...."
CW: "Cheers"

 

[SwissBlade]

Then when hes done with it sell it to villa for a few grand.

I think the cliche would be that Dean Smith would be following Wilder around all of the car boot sales and jumping in to bid with a really high bid for items that Wilder picks up but isn't interested in.

Perhaps what you're looking for is Wilder selling some partially cleaned up items to his mate Eddie Howe for a few grand...

I'm probably spending too much time on this analogy

 

[georgebernardshaw]

We all need to get out more

 

[benn5712]

We all need to get out more

I have been out gbs. Went to three car boot sales this morning.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

I have been out gbs. Went to three car boot sales this morning.

Got to admire that level of commitment to boredom

Respect.

 

[Tom Bott]

I have been out gbs. Went to three car boot sales this morning.

How many vases did you buy ?

 

[ThatJa]

I think the cliche would be that Dean Smith would be following Wilder around all of the car boot sales and jumping in to bid with a really high bid for items that Wilder picks up but isn't interested in.

Perhaps what you're looking for is Wilder selling some partially cleaned up items to his mate Eddie Howe for a few grand...

I'm probably spending too much time on this analogy

Morale if it all is Wilder picks up bargains with sell on value when hes done with said bargains.

 

[benn5712]

How many vases did you buy ?

In total, and from all three.
None.

 

[Tom Bott]

Had CW snapped them all up early doors ?

 

[benn5712]

Chris Wilder at a car boot sale. For the price of a 51 bus ticket * buys himself a vintage edition of a 51 bus timetable **. Edge of the seat stuff.
This is knowingly regarded as one of the greatest works of fiction/science fiction/mythology/local folklore.
Priceless then. Or, without value.

* An unknown quantity due to scarcity of issue.

**Other timetables were for sale, but these lack the drama, nail-biting intensity and sensationism (made up word, but apt) of 'area' 51 legend.

 

[Cheesebored]

Chris Wilder won’t go to a car boot sale. He and Knill will root round in a skip, drag out something that most people would put straight back, take it to Antiques Roadshow and watch Fiona Bruce wet herself with excitement because it’s the greatest find in the show’s history.

Quick tip. Do not do this in Salisbury.